These Days
by LoverofLove
Summary: Eight years. Eight years went by and all he could do was pretend none of it was real. Everyone else seemed to have moved on. But every night when it all came flooding back to him, he always started at the beginning every night he always started with her.
1. These Days

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**These Days**_

_By LoverofLove_

Eight years. Eight years went by and all he could do was pretend none of it was real; none of it ever happened. Everyone else seemed to have moved on; why shouldn't he? Every night when it all came flooding back to him, he always started at the beginning. And every night he always started with her…

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**A/N:** Here's the next one. I would like to explain that this story is going to focus on emotions more than anything. And also, I plan on making everything happening in here is more believable to happen in the actual Bleach. So here it is. Introduction. This first chapter is the name of the story, which should give you a good idea of what the story is about because of the song, "These Days," by Rascal Flatts. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own my dreams. Nothing more.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

* * *

_Chapter 1: These Days_

"Alright. It's all done now. See? It's not so bad now, is it?" he said setting down the needle and smiling back at the little girl with pigtails sitting in the doctor's office.

She sniffled slightly and shook her head. He bent down, putting his hands on his knees so he could be more at level with the girl. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to be a fan of Chappy, would you?" he said with a smirk.

Her sad, droopy eyes immediately widened and a smile grew across her face as she began to nod anxiously. He chuckled in response as he turned and opened a small draw where he pulled out a Chappy band-aid. He placed it on her arm and smiled at the girl's cheerfulness.

She looked up at him and asked, "Do you have any lollipops?"

He went to open his mouth and respond, but her mother held out her hand to help her daughter down, "You don't need a lollipop, honey. We have to get going so I can start dinner." She turned to him a smiled sincerely. "Thank you, Doctor Kurosaki."

He smiled, "No problem." He looked down at the little girl, who seemed somewhat sad. The mother began to walk out of the room.

"Lollipops rot your teeth anyway," he said looking at the retreating woman over his shoulder. He then held his pointer finger in front of his lips and said softly, "Shh," as he pulled out a Chappy lollipop from his white coat pocket and handed it to the little girl.

She smiled wildly, showing some missing teeth, and hugged his leg quickly before her mother saw.

She ran to hold her mother's hand and waved back, "See you soon!"

"Hopefully not too soon!" he yelled back as they exited the building. He smiled and turned to see his sister at the desk typing away at the computer.

"Only you can make children _want _to come to the doctor's, Ichigo," she said with a smirk without looking away from the computer screen.

"I've always been a sucker for kids, I guess," he said looking at the clock on the wall.

"Do we have anymore appointments today, Karin?" he questioned with exhaustion in his voice.

"Nope. We're all done," she said leaning back in her chair and letting out a deep breath.

"Then do you mind if I head home?" he asked with great hope.

"Go ahead. I'm gonna finish things up here."

"Tell Yuzu and Dad I'll drop by this weekend for lunch or something," he added hanging his white coat up on a hook in the corner, along with his stethoscope.

"Will do. Later," she said as she started typing again.

* * *

The air was getting bitter. It hit his skin and caused him to shiver. He took a deep breath and let the crisp air overwhelm his lungs. He zipped up his jacket and proceeded to put his hands into his pockets.

He looked across the street from the clinic at a particular streetlight; a streetlight that held a memory that would affect him for the rest of his life. His amber eyes seemed to flash with desire, but once he blinked, it was gone and his exhausted stare returned. He then pulled up his coat collar to shield him from the harsh breeze and turned to begin his walk.

It was quiet and already dark outside when it had just turned into the evening hours. He walked on the sidewalk as the streetlights came on above him. The wind brushed through his still unruly vibrant hair as he looked up at the clear night sky.

For a year now, he had taken over for his father, allowing him to retire from medicine. His sisters helped him out as nurses and receptionists. He realized that he was going to go into the family business his last year in high school and made it his major in college.

Every night after work he took the same walk home. And every time he couldn't help but think of the same things. It was a past that he had trouble believing if it truly occurred or not; a past that seemed so out of reach.

Everything that happened to him; everything that shaped him to be the man that he was then, was gone. To have made such an impact in the world and then have it all just dissipate without anyone ever knowing how much you made a difference in their life leaves you with an emptiness; an emptiness that craves to be filled with meaning; a purpose.

Now he was ordinary. Well, to everyone else at least. He no longer was gone for unexplainable absences and he no longer disappeared for any apparent reason. To everyone around him, he was like the next guy sitting next them.

He stopped for a moment as he heard the all too familiar screech of a hollow. He froze for a few seconds and stood straight up from instinct, but then relaxed and began to walk at his same pace in the same direction.

He could still see spirits. He even saw a few hollows in the past few years, but did nothing about it. He knew there was a shinigami in the area; it wasn't his job anymore. He let it all go.

He walked until he reached his two story apartment. Stepping inside, he hung his coat on the rack and walked into his living room. He turned on the television with the remote, and then walked straight to his small kitchen, which connected to his living room.

He looked through the mail set on his kitchen table and filed through them, seeing how most of them were bills anyway. One thing did stand out though. He opened the envelope.

_Dear Ichigo Kurosaki,_

_You are cordially invited to the wedding of:_

_Uryuu Ishida and Orihime Inoue_

He smirked at the invitation. His friends had been engaged for about a year now. They had been dating for four years and then Ishida finally worked up the courage to propose. He never was a very confident guy in that department.

Orihime had shyly approached Ichigo one day before his life seemed to take a totally turn around. They were still in high school at the time, but when she laid her feelings out on the table for him, he had trouble finding the rights words to let her down easily. In fact, he had trouble finding any words at that moment. That kind of love was something he could never give her. She was upset for what he assumed was probably a month and then returned to her cheery-self.

He thought back to that time and then was brought back to the invitation. He smiled genuinely at it.

Then, his cell phone began to ring. He quickly flipped it open without looking to see who it was. "Hello?"

"_Hey Ichigo. What's going on, man?"_

"Chad! Hey man! Nothing really. How's Mexico treating you?" Ichigo smiled into in the phone at a friend he hadn't seen in some time.

"_Pretty good. I'm not complaining. I was calling you about the wedding," _he said, leading into the conversation.

"Oh yeah. I was actually looking at the invitation when you called."

"_Yeah. I got it today too. I was wondering if I could crash with you when I come up?"_

"Oh no problem, man. Stay as long as you want."

"_Great. So I got to go. I've got to head off to the club now. I'll see ya then."_

"Alright. I don't know who would want to cause a scene with you as a bouncer, but don't let anyone manhandle you, got it?"

There was a chuckle on the other side of the phone. _"Don't you think you've taught me that already?"_

"Yeah, you're right."

"_Okay, I'll see ya man."_

"Later." He hung up the phone and walked over to the living room with the remote in hand.

"_Don Kanonji is back in Karakura Town! He had been away in the United States for ten years, but he has finally come back home to Japan! Don, tell us why you came to Karakura Town before anywhere else in Japan first?" _a reporter said on the television holding the microphone out to him.

"_I came here because Karakura Town was always a great place to do my job. There were so many unique people in this town and I would like to reunite the Karakura Superheroes! But first I would love to see my number one pupil! Plus, I'm here for all the fans! Don't forget to buy the new Don Kanonji t-shirts and season four dvd! It's only-"_

Ichigo raised an eyebrow and quickly hit the power button on the remote. He scowled at the black screen and threw the remote on the couch as he made his way upstairs.

_Hey baby, is that you?  
Wow, your hair got so long.  
Yeah, yeah, I love it, I really do._

Eight years. Eight years went by and all he could do was pretend none of it was real; none of it ever happened. Chad moved to Mexico and became a bouncer. Uryuu took over his father's hospital as Orihime started her own cooking program, which surprisingly was very successful. Tatsuki was coaching at the dojo that she and Ichigo attended when they were kids.

_Norma Jean, ain't that the song we'd sing in the car  
Drivin' downtown, top down, makin' the rounds  
Checking out the bands on Doheny Avenue._

Everyone else seemed to have moved on; why shouldn't he? He dragged his feet up the steps as the weight of the past overpowered him. It was so tiring; so painful to let go. For the past few years he hid himself from the world. Everyone reminded him of it all, so he scarcely saw them. But at night, he was left in the silence and the dark, and his strong demeanor broke.

_Yeah, life throws you curves,  
But you learn to swerve,  
Me, I swung and I missed,  
And the next thing ya know, I'm reminiscing...  
Dreaming old dreams, wishing old wishes,  
Like you would be back again._

He kicked his shoes off and sat down on the side of his bed. He was hunched over with his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands. He remained like that for a few moments and then looked over at the table next to his bed. He was tempted to open the drawer, just in case. So after a few seconds, he opened the drawer and pulled out the shinigami phone and flipped it open. His heart sunk. Why would there be anything anyway?

_I wake up and tear drops; they fall down like rain,  
I put on that old song we danced to and then,  
I head off to my job, guess not much has changed,  
Punch the clock, head for home,  
Check the phone, just in case,  
Go to bed, dream of you,  
That's what I'm doin' these days.  
Yeah that's what I'm doin'_

He frowned and flew himself on his bed. He stared at the ceiling, but his mind was nowhere focused on that. The dark only allowed his thoughts to come to life; thoughts that he had been trying for almost a decade to get rid of, but he couldn't. He wanted his old life back; the life where he could protect; the life where he knew he was understood.

_Someone told me, after college, you ran off to Vegas,  
You married a rodeo cowboy,  
Wow, that ain't the girl I knew, _

_Me, I've been a few places,  
Mostly here and there once or twice,  
Still sortin' out life, but I'm doin' all right,  
Yeah, it's good to see you, too._

Every night when it all came flooding back to him, he always started at the beginning. And every night he always started with her. He thought about it all. He saved her. He protected her like everyone else. But the more he thought, the more he clenched his fists. He furrowed his eyebrows even more and turned on his side quickly; slamming his left fist on his mattress as he faced the window with his eyes shut tight.

_Well, hey girl you're late, and those planes, they don't wait,_

_But if you ever come back around this sleepy old town,  
Promise me you'll stop in, to see an old friend, and until then_

He let a large amount of air exit through his nose as he kept his eyes closed with furrowed brows. He opened them after a moment and stared out the window. The moon was full and large, so unlike his soul. It always reflected him, as if showing him to the rest of the world, but now it failed him. It only showed who he wanted to be and that hurt even more, knowing he couldn't go back.

_I wake up and tear drops; they fall down like rain,  
I put on that old song we danced to and then,  
I head off to my job, guess not much has changed,  
Punch the clock, head for home,  
Check the phone, just in case,  
Go to bed, dream of you,  
That's what I'm doin' these..._

He closed his eyes tightly again, but this time, a tear strode down his face. He took a deep swallow and opened his eyes lazily; revealing his cold, emotionless ambers. He wiped the lone tear away and then closed his eyes again; this time, falling asleep into a world much happier than his own.

_  
I wake up and tear drops; they fall down like rain…

* * *

_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

That is the first chapter. I hope you got the main emotion and thought process out of it. Okay, so make sure to let me know. Thanks! Later


	2. Coffee Shop Soundtrack

**A/N:** Long time. Well here is the second chapter. It's named after the song, "Coffee Shop Soundtrack," by All Time Low. Amazing song. And I must say, the title has nothing to do with the chapter itself – there is no coffee shop; just the name of the song. Just thought I should clarify if people get confused. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Nay.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

* * *

_Chapter 2: Coffee Shop Soundtrack_

_He was walking in the dead-middle of the street. Cars flew by him in slow motion, allowing him to only see a blur of light. It was as if he wasn't really there, but he continued to walk wearing his white doctor's coat._

_Sounds were unclear and everything was muffled as if he was holding his hands tightly against his ears. He felt so alone, but for some reason he kept on walking as if looking for something urgently._

_Then, he began to jog, although he did not understand why. Soon, it became a full out run. After a few seconds, directly in front of him, in the middle of the street, was a stop sign. He ran all the way until it was inches from his face._

_He breathed heavily as he stood in the middle of a cross section that looked deserted. Then, a black butterfly, or possibly a hell butterfly, flew through the small space between his eyes and the steel. He turned his head slowly to follow its flight, only to realize it had become dark, and the butterfly was then seen clearly as the moon shined behind it in the sky. _

That was the dream he relived so many nights back when it had first began to stop. But that night was the first time in a long time that he had it again.

* * *

'Another morning that will lead to another wasteful day'; that's what he had learned to live by every time his eyes fluttered open from the night's sleep. Every morning he found himself sleeping on top of his covers wearing the previous day's clothes. He pulled himself up and dragged himself into the shower to wash the slow decay of his life off of his body to make way for the current day's rot.

It was routine; everything he did mirrored the day before and day the before that and so on. He finished his shower, went downstairs to make two slices of toast to go, and then walked to work.

That day the sun was shining brightly; the birds were chirping; and the cold wind seemed anything but harsh. But days like these didn't matter. No matter what was happening, he always saw a cloudy sky equipped with rain and the air was always bitter. That was how he felt, but he refused to let it be completely shown to the outside world. If everyone else was fine, why shouldn't he be?

* * *

He walked into his childhood house and was making his way to the clinic part when he quickly caught his father's fist in mid air. He refused to look at him and instead, sighed.

"Everyday it's the same thing. Haven't you realized you haven't caught me off guard in years, old man?" Ichigo said softly with annoyance in his tone.

"Ah! So then it's only a matter of time before you slip up, my son!" he yelled cheerily, giving a hard slap on Ichigo's back. Ichigo jerked forward and quickly turned to glare at his father. He shook his head and continued on his way to the office mumbling, "Crazy old man."

* * *

Karin was sitting at the desk, talking on the phone, "Yes – Yes, of course. Tomorrow at two-thirty. We'll see you then," she finished, hanging up the phone and seeing her brother giving her a peculiar look.

"What?" she said as if he had gone mad.

"I thought Yuzu was working the desk today?" he asked with confusion.

"Oh she is. She had to go out and get some rice for dinner later. She should be back soon," she said while writing the appointment down.

Ichigo frowned and looked at the clock. "What time did she leave?"

She continued to flip through the pages looking at the day's appointments, "Hmm, about six. You know her; always getting up so damn early."

His eyes widened. "It's eight-thirty!"

"What? Oh, well maybe she decided to get more while she was out."

"You know she never does that. She goes by the plan!" he yelled getting worried.

"First, you need to calm down. And second, she's nineteen now. I'm pretty sure she'll have a reason for being late," she said to him like he was crazy.

"You don't think this is worth worrying over?!" he asked incredulously.

"No. No I don't. Because everything is fin-" she began before her eyes widened and her back straightened. "Did you- feel that?" she asked softly and hesitantly.

Ichigo's face was full of horror, showing his understanding, causing him to quickly turn around and sprint out of the clinic; onto the street.

He continued to run and his heart was beating faster than it had in years. He felt his little sister's reiatsu growing smaller and smaller and the immediately pulse he felt back in the clinic scared the hell out of him. All he was certain of was that she was in danger.

He didn't know what he was doing. When he got there, he didn't know what he was going to do, but that he was going to do it. He had a chance to protect someone again and there was no way in hell he was going to fail.

He began to weave through cars, seeing how there must have been a pile up from something, but he was going too fast to see a door left open and he cut his left bicep on the damaged steel. He hissed, but refused to slow down.

He turned the corner and froze; ironically beside a stop sign. His breathe was caught in his chest as his mouth hung slightly ajar. He saw his sister lying on the ground next to a delivery truck, which was left parked in the middle of the street. There was a dent in the truck from he could only assume was made from his sister hitting it. The driver of the truck had evacuated when the chaos began. Cars were scattered all over the cross section; one was even left on the sidewalk with the driver's door left open.

He could tell his sister was unconscious from the bleeding he could see down her temple. But the one thing that stopped him from going to her was the sight of a large hollow planning to attack not his sister, but the one standing in front of Yuzu.

With a quick jump, she brought down her blade and split the hollow in two. She watched as it seemed to evaporate into thin air before turning and kneeling down at Yuzu's side.

Ichigo's body seemed paralyzed. He couldn't move. His mind just found it too hard to believe what his eyes were showing him. He watched her small, elegant movements as she laid Yuzu down directly in front of her. It all seemed to be a dream. His senses began to fail him; sounds were muffled, everything that was unimportant in his eyes was a blur, and the simple matter of breathing became complex as air remained caught in his throat.

Finally, as he saw her hands raised on Yuzu's head, illuminating a blue light, he slowly moved his feet in that direction. It was a slow pace at first, but it soon turned into a jog, in which he stopped five feet before reaching his destination. "Rukia…" he said in such a soft tone, you could have easily mistook him for someone else.

At the sound of her name, she stopped using her kido and looked up slowly, delivering a serious look his way. She stood up and walked the short distance between them still giving him a stern look. She had changed slightly, almost as if she aged. She was now a couple of inches taller and delivered a more womanly shape.

He searched her eyes for understanding and perhaps in a way, urging her to speak. He began to open his mouth, but saw her firm posture relax and her violet eyes soften. She reached up slowly with her right hand and placed it on his left arm. He looked down in surprise, only to understand that she was healing him. He looked back at her and saw her sincere face focusing on his arm._  
_

She seemed to have finished and he began to speak, "Thank-" but he was cut off by her phone signaling another hollow.

Her eyebrows furrowed from the interruption. "Take Yuzu back to the clinic. She's just unconscious. She'll be fine," she said, before turning around and shunpoing away.

He looked into the direction she went for a moment, unconsciously moving his right hand up to feel the warmth from where her hand had just been. He let out a large breath and moved quickly to bring his little sister back to the clinic.

_

* * *

_

"How's she doing?" Karin asked with guilty eyes as she looked down at her sister's motionless body.

Ichigo pulled his stethoscope down to his neck after listening to Yuzu's breathing. "She's fine. She'll be out for a little while, but once she's up she'll be fine. Maybe a little light-headed but other than that, everything should be okay," he said turning to look at his worried sister.

He placed his hand on her shoulder. "Hey, everything's fine. Don't you dare blame yourself. This was an accident. Okay?" he said sincerely.

She nodded slightly and then took a seat next to her sister. Ichigo gave a sympathetic smile and then exited the room.

"Dad? What are you doing?" Ichigo questioned with confusion. He had walked out into the reception area and saw his father walking toward him wearing his white coat.

"I'm coming out of retirement for the day, son! Leave everything to me! The Kurosaki children have had enough for one day!" he said with determination.

"Come on. You can't handle all of thi-" Ichigo began, but was soon cut off by a knee to the abdomen; knocking the wind out of him.

"I told you it was a matter of time before you let your guard down! And besides, I've done this job much longer than you, my boy! Now get out of here and take a load off!" he yelled with a smirk as he took Ichigo's white coat off and pushed him out the door in a matter of seconds.

* * *

Ichigo looked back at the door that his father had just slammed shut. He glared as if he could burn holes straight through the door and directly into his father. He exhaled a growl and then turned around. His back straightened from surprise.

_Should I write myself out of the history books,  
and mark a place in time for every chance you took,  
Don't get me wrong I know you've got your life in place -  
I've yet to take the hint,  
Some day  
I'm sure I'll get the picture,  
and stop waiting up..._

She stood against the same lamppost that she sat against when transferring her powers to him. She leaned against it with her arms crossed over her chest and this time, _she_ was waiting for _him_.

He started from her feet and took in her every detail. She was wearing camel-colored boots that went up to her knees. Her maroon mini-skirt flared slightly with a button-down camel-colored long-sleeve shirt that seemed to fit perfectly as it accented her every curve.

_When it all comes down,  
to a sunrise on the east side,  
will you be there to carry home,  
the remains of my wasted youth,  
this wasted time on you  
has left me shaking in waiting,  
shaking in waiting for something more.  
_

He watched as the corners of her lips curved slightly into a smile. The wind blew her raven hair gently off her shoulders, revealing more of her porcelain skin. He shook his head slightly to come back to reality. "What are you doing here, Rukia?"

She chuckled slightly and rolled her eyes as she leaned off the lamppost. "Nice to see you too, Ichigo," she said sarcastically. She walked slowly toward him and he took into memory every step.

_Tonight is alive with the promise of a street-fight,  
and there's money on the table,  
that says your cheap-shots won't be able,  
to break bones.  
I've yet to break a sweat  
I'll make your past regret its future.  
Here's to you.  
_

He furrowed his eyebrows. "That's not an answer."

She frowned slightly in suspicion. "I'm here because I choose to be. What kind of question is that?" she asked with irritation.

"A pretty good question," he added coldly.

She frowned at him. "What's wrong?"

_When it all comes down,  
to a sunrise on the east side,  
will you be there to carry home,  
the remains of my wasted youth,  
this wasted time on you  
has left me shaking in waiting,  
for something more._

He gave a disgusted chuckle. "If you don't even know why you're here, why don't you just go?" he said more as a statement as he turned and began to walk down the sidewalk.

She watched his retreating form. His once ripped jeans were now clean and fit appropriately. He wore a navy blue sweater that fit snug enough to show a well toned body underneath the cloth. His hands were now placed in his pockets as he left her stunned behind him. He had changed so much and she was having trouble grasping that.

_Make all of my decisions for me,  
I've never taken the fall for deceit,  
I'll keep a secret if you keep me guessing,  
The taste of your lips says we shouldn't have met like..._

She quickly ran up and turned around in front of him, holding her hands out against his chest to stop him. His nostrils flared and he turned his head to look away from her.

"Ichigo," she said urging him to talk to her. She just wanted to understand. Her eyes were blazing into his ambers, but she noticed now that his eyes had a sheet of ice blocking him from the rest of the world.

_Make all of my decision for me,  
I've never taken the fall for deceit,  
We'll keep a secret if you keep me guessing,  
The taste of your lips says we shouldn't have met like this_

He grabbed her wrists gently and held them there for a moment. She really was there; right there in front of him. He wasn't dreaming after all. After all this time she became his reality once again. But then, he snapped out of it, and pushed her arms away as gently as he grabbed them. He still did not look at her, "Just leave me alone," he said softly before walking off without taking a glimpse back.

_I can keep a secret if you can keep me guessing,  
The flavor of your lips is enough to keep me pressing,  
for more than just a moment of truth between the lies told,  
to pull ourselves away from the lives we leave back home...  
I can keep a secret if you can keep me guessing,  
The flavor of your lips is enough to keep me here..._

Her chest felt heavy as she watched someone she thought she knew push her away without using much effort. She was too shocked to move and she was too hurt to try.

Ichigo closed his eyes tightly as he continued to walk away. He wanted more than anything to stay and talk to her; to stay and be around her, but he couldn't. He was too stubborn and too hurt. Eight years changed him. He couldn't revert backwards if it was only going to go back to the way it was the day before. So he continued to walk away; away from the past.

_When it all comes down,  
to a sunrise on the east side,  
will you be there to carry me home,  
the remains of my wasted youth,  
this wasted time on you  
has left me shaking in waiting,  
for something more._

* * *

The wind blew her skirt faintly into the air as she watched him turn the corner. She began to walk the opposite direction with her head bowed down to the ground. It had been eight years since she last saw anyone in Karakura Town. She had been promoted to Vice Captain, under Captain Ukitake those few years ago and ever since then, she had fewer assignments in the living world due to them only being appropriate for unseated shinigami.

She didn't really care about if it was appropriate or not. Hell, if she had a choice she would do the living world assignments herself, but her new promotion called for different work; not to mention her brother actually expressed how proud of her he was.

She had to admit, the last time she saw Ichigo it didn't end very well. But it had been eight years. She figured he would have forgotten that by now. Who was she kidding? She knew he wouldn't have forgotten; she knew she, herself, hadn't. She just couldn't understand how Ichigo pulled a one-eighty. She wanted to talk to him; she wanted to see where the boy she grew to know so well had gone to.

She heard a thud a few feet ahead of her, causing her to look up vaguely startled.

The young woman held her hands over her mouth as her eyes began to fill with water. She had apparently dropped a grocery bag on the sidewalk from her surprise. "Rukia?" she asked, not believing her eyes.

Rukia smiled softly. "Hey Orihime," she said calmly, causing the red-headed woman to fling herself onto her into a tight embrace.

"I can't believe it," Orihime whispered with her eyes closed, with her chin over Rukia's shoulder. "You're actually here."

Rukia continued to smile genuinely. "Is it that hard to believe?" she asked jokingly.

The two parted. "Kind of. It's been years since any of us have seen you. I was afraid I wasn't going to see you again. I mean you didn't even say bye or anything," Orihime said sadly, folding her hands in front of her.

Rukia frowned in guilt. "I know. And I feel terrible for that. I'm sorry."

Orihime stared innocently at her for a moment before delivering a sincere smile. "You're forgiven."

Rukia smiled in return. "So tell me what's been going on," Rukia said bending down and picking the grocery bag up and handing it to her friend.

Orihime took the bag and initiated the two to continue walking down the sidewalk. "Hmm, well let's see. Chad is in Mexico as a bouncer in a night club, Uryuu is running his father's hospital, hmm, what else?" she said with one arm hugging the bag to her body, while she tapped her pursed lips with her pointer finger of her free hand. "Tatsuki is running the dojo she trained in and I have my own cooking program going!" she said cheerily.

"Wow. You all have made a future for yourselves," she paused. "I'm proud of you."

Orihime continued, "And Ichigo took over for his father at the clinic full-time now."

Rukia was brought back to that heavy-chest feeling from earlier. "How has he been?" she asked softly, almost holding back the question.

"Well, to be honest, no one has really seen Ichigo in awhile. But the last time I did, he wasn't looking too good. I don't really know what happened to him. All I know is that he's been so secluded ever since, well," she hesitated, feeling terrible to put the blame anywhere, "ever since you stopped coming back."

Rukia felt like she ran into a brick wall. As if her guilt could get any worse…

"Ah! Rukia I didn't mean-" Orihime shrieked seeing her friend's expression.

"No, no. It's fine," Rukia said holding her hands up to stop her. There was an awkward moment of silence until Orihime spoke again.

"Maybe you should talk to him. I know he avoids people and everything but he's coming to the wedding. You could do it there."

"Wedding?" Rukia questioned.

"Oh my god! I forgot to tell you!" Orihime yelled in surprise, but a goofy smile was all over her face. Rukia just stared at her confused. "Uryuu and I are getting married this weekend!"

"What?!" Rukia stiffened in surprise, but then wrapped her arms around Orihime's neck in excitement. "I can't believe it! Congratulations!"

"Thanks. And well, I know its short notice, but well, do you think you could be my bride's maid?" she asked hopefully.

Rukia gave a huge smile with gentle eyes. "I'd love too."

* * *

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Depressing stuff. Alright. Next chapter is the wedding. You know the drill. Tell me something. Thanks. Later


	3. Water Runs Dry

**A/N:** Here you go. This is the wedding chapter. It's named after, "Water Runs Dry," by Boyz II Men. It's a deep song. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Non.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

* * *

_Chapter 3: Water Runs Dry_

Two days had gone by and he refused to leave his house for anything besides work. This was his usual guideline, but he even avoided grocery shopping or any of the related needs.

That day was the wedding and he had no choice but to leave his safe house. Chad would arrive in a matter of minutes and he would be pushed out minutes after that. He sat on his recliner in the living room, but without the television on; in dead silence.

He was already dressed. He had on his black pint-striped Armani suit with white gold cufflinks. He wore a cream colored silk shirt with a solid black tie to complete his look. His hair was left naturally unruly.

He had his elbow resting on the chair's arm as he held his hand over his mouth. He continued to tell himself that he had to go. He was Ishida's usher, not to mention he was one of his and Orihime's best friends; regardless of how often he had seen them lately.

A knock was heard at the door, which casually knocked him out of his thoughts.

"Ichigo!" Chad said smirking with his hair gelled back. He was already dressed in his suit.

"Hey buddy," Ichigo said hugging his giant friend. Ichigo smiled opening the door to allow him in with his suitcase. "Here, follow me and we can put that stuff down and get the hell out of here."

* * *

They had arrived just on time. The ceremony was going to start in about ten minutes and Uryuu was standing in front of the mirror adjusting his tie over and over again. 

Ichigo was leaning back in a chair completely relaxed. "Chill out man. You're not changing anything by doing this. You've been living with her for a few years now, she's beautiful and you love her. Only difference now is that she'll have your last name."

Ishida took a deep breath and adjusted his glasses. "As much as I hate to admit it, you're right, Kurosaki. But I'd like to see you in my position," he growled somewhat.

Ichigo gave a half hearted chuckle before Chad entered the room. "Alright, I've got the rings and she's ready. I think we should get out there."

Ishida took one final glance into the mirror and tugged his suit jacket tighter. He took a deep breath and then gave a nod to himself. He followed his best man out the door causing Ichigo to follow suit.

Ishida paused and turned to Ichigo. "Kurosaki. I need a favor," he said pausing; waiting for the orange-headed man's response.

He held his hands up in defense, "I'm not getting involved with you leaving her at the alter."

Ishida glared through his glasses. "No, you ass," he sighed. "Just- go to her and make sure this is what she really wants; I'm- what she really wants," he said hesitantly.

Ichigo's amber eyes softened for one of the first times in years. He gave a soft small as well and placed a hand on Ishida's shoulder. "I'm positive what her answer is, but if you want me to, I'll do it."

Ishida nodded. "Thanks." Ichigo began to walk towards the room where the bride was dealing with her finishing touches.

"Ichigo!" the groom called from behind. Ichigo turned casually. "I'm glad you could make it today."

Ichigo smiled genuinely. "No problem man. Now get out there."

* * *

There was a knock at the door. "Come in," she said pulling on different sections of her dress. 

"Hey," Ichigo said softly making her turn and smile sweetly at him.

"I'm happy you came. I kind of doubted you. I'm sorry," she said innocently and apologetically.

He shrugged, "I would have doubted me too. I pushed my problems in the corner for today." He smiled softly. "You look beautiful, Orihime."

She gave him a hug and whispered, "Thank you," into his ear.

"Oh right," he said remembering why he was there and beginning to rub the back of his neck. "Ishida sent me in here to make sure this is what you wanted to do. Well, he sent me in here to make sure _he_ was what you wanted actually."

Orihime gave the face of someone who would have said, "Aw," if they opened their mouth. "Of course I'm sure. But thanks for asking."

He smiled, "I figured that. Well, I'll see ya out there," he said turning around.

"Ichigo?" Orihime stopped him before exiting. He turned. "I hope you solve your problems soon. I miss _this_ Ichigo."

Ichigo looked at her sensitively. "So do I," he said before leaving the room. He walked to the room where he would walk the bride's maid down the aisle. When he got there he saw Chad holding his arm out for Tatsuki's hand; the maid of honor. He then saw another door open and in walked the bride's maid.

Her dress was purple and glued to her body; showing her every curve. Her bangs were pinned to the side with one clip and she was slightly out of breath; probably from just getting there.

She looked at him with surprise and then understood as she walked up to him without saying a word.

He held his arm out and she took it hesitantly then looking straight ahead. He continued to look at her. 'She looks-' she slightly peeked at him without turning her head. He quickly turned away and frowned.

"Alright, let's go," they heard Chad say, making them start their walk down the aisle.

There were so many people in the church. And everyone that did know them was beyond surprise. For years Ichigo Kurosaki had been known as the young hermit who threw away a promising future and Rukia Kuchiki was the runaway whose reasons were never known. And now after all this time, here they both were, next to each other, presenting themselves back into the world. To many, it was a sight to behold.

"They're staring," Rukia said from the side of her mouth as she continued to look forward as they walked.

"What did you expect?" he said harshly. They continued to walk down and separated from each other at the end of the aisle. Then, Orihime made her beautiful entrance, taking Uryuu's breath away.

* * *

It was a beautiful ceremony, but to be fair, it was also long and boring. The party was on its way though and everyone was having a good time, well except an orange-headed man, who had trouble enjoying anything these days. 

He sat alone at a table; avoiding everyone that came up to him by using the excuse of needing to use the bathroom, but instead simply getting up and walking to the other side of the room to find another vacant table.

Rukia had been enjoying herself. She caught up with certain events such as graduation, college, careers. She just couldn't seem to find the one person she wanted to talk to more than anything. She was walking through the crowds of people, but suddenly it seemed as if they had all parted for her; and there he was slouching in a chair, looking down at the table where he drummed his fingers.

The song changed as she stared at him and the dance floor became empty. The slow music began to give her an idea and she walked slowly up to him. She stood in front of him and he looked up with wide ambers.

"Dance with me," she said with innocent eyes and a slight curve of the corners of her lips.

"I don't think-" he began but was interrupted. "I wasn't asking," she said with a smirk and grabbed his hand on the table; dragging him behind her to the middle of the dance floor.

They stood on the floor with her hands locked behind his neck. He frowned and turned his head to the side; avoiding looking down at her as he hesitantly placed his hands on her hips and began swaying slowly to the beat.

_We don't even talk anymore  
And we don't even know what we argue about  
Don't even say I love you no more  
'Cause saying how we feel is no longer allowed_

Rukia looked up at him and frowned sadly. "What happened to you, Ichigo?" she asked softly.

"Nothing," he mumbled; refusing to look at her still.

"Look at me," she said in the same soft tone, but he refused. "Look at me, Ichigo," she said with more strength. He turned and their eyes instinctively locked. His cold, hard face seemed to melt with the simple look into her eyes that could make anything seem beautiful.

_Some people work things out  
And some just don't know how to change_

He quickly remembered his position. "Why do you care?" he asked arrogantly.

"What kind of question is that? You act like you don't know me at all; like I'm this terrible person. I didn't do anything, Ichigo; only what you told me to do," she said forcefully, but without raising her voice.

_Let's don't wait till the water runs dry  
We might watch our whole lives pass us by  
Let's don't wait till the water runs dry  
We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives  
Don't do it baby  
_

"Yeah, sure. Act like you're completely innocent. Go right ahead, Rukia. I believe you said some things that don't exactly put you under that category though," he responded bitterly.

Rukia was about to say something else, but shook her head to stop herself. "You know what, this doesn't even matter anymore. That was years ago, Ichigo. You should be over it by now."

He glared with disbelief. "Over it?" he said almost with amusement. "You're telling me _you're_ over it?"

She stuck her chin slightly into the air. "Yes. Yes I am."

He smirked and chuckled slightly, turning his head to the side and looking away. "That's a load of shit."

_Now they can see the tears in our eyes  
But we deny the pain that lies deep in our hearts  
Well maybe that's a pain we can't hide  
'Cause everybody knows that we're both torn apart_

"And why do you think that?" she responded with irritation.

He turned back to her quickly and looked her straight in the eyes; almost scaring her with how quickly it happened. "Because it took you eight years to come back," he said piercing into her soul with his burning ambers.

She opened her mouth to speak, but found nothing to say. She closed her mouth slowly and looked down to the floor for a moment.

_Why do we hurt each other  
Why do we push love away_

"Just tell me," she said with her head still bowed down. She raised her head up again and looked with sincere violet eyes. "Why are you acting like you're dead?"

_Let's don't wait till the water runs dry  
We might watch our whole lives pass us by  
Let's don't wait till the water runs dry  
We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives  
Don't do it baby_

He was taken by surprise from her seriousness and the look she delivered caught the air in his chest. "Because a long time ago, I was told that the one thing I wanted to do wasn't my job. The one thing that I was positive I could do ended up being another thing I failed at. Other than that, I've got nothing."

"Ichigo," she said softly. "I said that to you so many times before that and you brushed it off. Why was it that time that you chose to hold onto it?"

_Some people will work things out  
And some just don't know how to change_

"After what happened to you- and then because you said it after that." He paused, feeling uncomfortable about explaining his emotions for the first time in years. "And then you left- and didn't come back." Their eyes were locked and Rukia felt her chest tighten. 'This is my fault,' she thought looking into his saddened eyes. 'I caused this.'

_Let's don't wait till the water runs dry  
We might watch our whole lives pass us by  
Let's don't wait till the water runs dry  
We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives  
Don't do it baby_

The song was coming to an end but they stopped and stood there looking at each other intently before it was over. "Rukia! Orihime's going to throw the bouquet!" Tatsuki yelled from the side causing her to turn and look. Ichigo took this time to stare at her in his arms for one more second and then slip away hastily into the crowd.

"One second!" Rukia responded before seeing Ichigo was long gone. She exhaled deeply and replayed the whole conversation in her head. She believed fully that she caused this and now she realized she had to fix it. He still hurt her, but the consequences seemed more severe for him. She shook the thoughts off for a later time and walked over to where Tatsuki had gone.

_Don't do it baby_

_Don't do it baby_

* * *

Ichigo ran straight out of there and straight to his car. He sat behind the steering wheel and breathed heavily with his eyes closed before resting his head on the steering wheel. He gripped the wheel firmly and rocked back and forth. 

'I don't even know why I told her all of that.' He frowned and slammed his fists against the wheel, then gripping it again. "She's the one that changed my life – not once, but twice!" he yelled out loud. "God! I probably wouldn't be so fucked up if I never even met-" he began to lash out but stopped himself.

'I don't mean that. I know I don't mean that,' he corrected himself in his head. He rested his head back on the steering wheel again. He chuckled sadly, "God I'm so messed up."

'She told me long ago that I should be normal and when she left to make it happen- it still didn't work.' "I'm so fucking pitiful. I can't do something that pathetically easy. Plus, I finally go and complain about my little problems and it's to her of all people! How fucking stupid am I?!"

He suddenly felt cramped and needed air. He opened the door, got out, turned and crossed his arms on the top of his black Acura and then buried his head in them. It was a pretty cold night and the wind blew his hair violently around, but it felt good.

He suddenly gave an envious feeling towards the wind. It could go anywhere it wanted; as fast as it wanted; could carry a message along to someone and the best part; it was invisible. He wished he could pass right by without being acknowledged; maybe then he could be left alone.

He heard a few people coming out of the building but didn't think or bother to look.

"Ichigo! Come back inside! Keigo was just bitch-slapped by Tatsuki! Come on man," Chad yelled with Karin by his side, surprisingly. Mizuiro was also waving him back beside them.

"I can't. Tell everyone I'm sorry. I got to go," Ichigo said quickly with an apologetic face and tone. He hastily got into his car and started it up.

Rukia came out in a rush and saw the three walking in with disappointment. "Don't bother Rukia. He's leaving," Karin said passing the running woman, who stopped at the sound of her name.

Rukia frowned and looked to the doors. She then ran through them.

Ichigo pulled out of his parking space and began to drive out of the parking lot and almost got out before he saw her standing with her arms held behind her back, standing right in the middle of the road.

He hit the breaks and saw her staring sadly at him through the windshield. After a few seconds he opened the door and stood behind it. "Do you _want_ to die?" he asked harshly.

"Do you? Because you sure as hell aren't living," she debated.

He glared at her. "Well at least I'm not standing in the middle of the road, waiting to get run over."

"Well at least I'm taking a risk and not sitting around letting everything go by," she argued.

His nostrils flared and he bit down harder. "What do you want from me, Rukia? Did you come back to throw my life in my face? Does that make you feel better after all these years?!"

"I _want_ the old Ichigo back!" she argued not moving from her stance in the street.

"Well the old Ichigo is long gone and he's not coming back!" he yelled back quickly.

It was quiet for a moment. "I don't believe that."

He raised an eyebrow. "Okay, well if you don't, then tell me, genius. What do _you_ think _you_ can do about it?"

Her face was serious. "I'm going to fix it."

He chuckled with amusement. "Oh so now I'm your new project. I've already been used by you and Soul Society before, why not one more time?" he said dripping with sarcasm.

She walked closer to him as she spoke, "It's not like that at all, Ichigo and you know it! I never used you, so stop filling your head with wrong facts just so you can convince yourself that you hate me!" she yelled back at him.

He glared at her. "Why are you even trying?" he asked with a quieter tone.

She exhaled quite a bit of air at that moment. "Because I caused this," she said standing in front of him now with only the car door between them.

He gave a single chuckle. "So you're on a guilt trip? Save your breath, Rukia. You're not that important to have me-" he started but found that she had just slapped him straight across the face. He held his head turned from the force of the slap.

"I'm not going to continue to let you talk trash about me to my face. I'm trying to fix this, but it's obvious you're trying to push me away by saying all of this. Yeah, it does hurt, Ichigo. But I know you don't mean it," she reasoned with her eyes boring holes into him.

He turned his head back to her. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" he asked softly with eyes that wanted to break.

Rukia saw him falling apart in front of her. Maybe she was finally getting through? "Because-" she hesitated. "You mean too much to me to just let you go on like this."

He looked into her violet eyes and he knew she meant it. He bowed his head to the floor and they stood there for a few seconds in silence.

Rukia took in his appearance. He looked different from the other day when she saw him coming out of work. He was cleanly shaved now and you could tell he had taken time on his outfit.

"You look handsome," she said out loud, which surprised even herself.

His head rose quickly to look at her. "Th-thanks," he said softly and slightly embarrassed from her compliment.

She felt her face heat up slightly and was grateful for the darkness. "What do you say about going back inside?" she asked, looking away from him because she felt awkward from saying her earlier statement out loud.

He looked down. "I-I can't. I need some time to myself," he said softly.

"Ichig-" she started to argue.

"Please. I need it," he begged.

She let out a big breath and nodded slowly. "Alright," she said disappointedly. She started to walk away, but he called to her, making her turn around.

"I'll see you soon?" he asked casually.

She smiled sweetly back at him. "You don't have a choice," she said before turning back around and going back inside.

He smiled at her back until she disappeared inside. He got into his car and drove off with something he hadn't felt in years; hope.

* * *

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

Blah. I feel like this chapter was kinda just thrown together even though it wasn't. Gah anyway. So some clues of what was said or what happened eight years ago. Rukia is actually getting through to him I think. This story is basically Ichigo's emotional rollercoaster right now. Alright. Let me know. Later


	4. Fix You

**A/N:** Long time. I know. sigh So, the good news is, is that I have everything planned out now. I have the plot done, the songs and everything else. I've just got to do the most time consuming part- typing it all out and adding the details. I apologize. On that note: Here is chap 4, "Fix You," named after the song by Coldplay. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: [ -- I own everything inside that box.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

* * *

_Chapter 4: Fix You_

'How many days has it been since the wedding? Three? Four? I stopped keeping track,' she thought, lying on her bed in the pitch black hotel room she rented a few days ago.

'I honestly don't know what I'm doing anymore. When I came back it was a decision made out of impulse. I was in the living world for about five minutes before a hollow came around. And that's where I saw Ichigo,' she thought with the smallest smile.

'For the first time in eight years I saw him. He was completely shocked. He was probably yelling in his head, "What the hell is she doing here?!"' she frowned as she continued to look up at the ceiling with her hands resting behind her head.

'So I took care of some things, rented this room and then went off and waited for him outside his house; or rather his old house. He looked somewhat happy to see me when he stepped out the door, but then it was almost as if he registered everything again and his entire approach on the situation changed.'

"_What are you doing here, Rukia?"_ His question had been haunting her for days. 'What _am_ I doing here? I figured I could just show up and be all cheery and then hopefully he would just go along with it. But he didn't. He acted exactly the way he should have acted; the way _I_ should have acted.' She frowned even more.

'When I think about it, I get so damn mad at him. He chose to be all angry when I was trying to start over. He makes it seem like I really don't have any right to be angry as well. I have just as much a right as he does! I remember exactly what happened that night, just like he does!' she argued in her head, kicking a leg into the air and slamming it down on the mattress.

She then let out a sigh as her eyes began to water. 'But the more I saw him, the more I realized how bad the consequences have been for him; how miserable his life was going. And that was all because he chose it to be like that. He chose it because that's how he thought after that night apparently.' Her eyebrows furrowed due to her being deep in thought.

Her eyes were slightly red from both lack of sleep and tears that she wouldn't admit she shed. 'But even though I deserve to hold such a grudge against him, I can't help but try to ask for forgiveness for what I've done.' Her chest felt heavy again.

'I can't help but try and change his life to something it should be – not this; anything but this. And for the life he has been living – that I feel guilty for. So I guess I'll just push aside everything that he did; everything that he said. That much he deserves,' she began to decide as her mind flashed to the past.

_She had just returned from the thirteenth squad's office and accepted her promotion. She should be feeling proud from her accomplishment, but she wasn't. She entered her room and leaned her back against the now closed door. She accepted her promotion out of spite. _

"_You told me to go and accept it. Happy now?" she said out loud bitterly. She slammed her fists backwards against the door as she closed her eyes tightly and clenched her jaw. "I did what you said, damn it!" She slid down the door and finally let it out; she finally cried._

_She had walked around for five days as if nothing happened, only being questioned of her state of mind by her captain, her brother and Renji. But now she couldn't hold it in any longer. Her chest ached and her head pulsed. She rolled up into a ball and sobbed away the pain. _

_She wasn't sure when the fight went completely up in flames, but by the time she left running, she knew everything they created had turned into ashes and the ashes would not be swept up from the floor; allowing her to look upon them and hurt for years to come._

She blinked out of her memories by a knock at the door. She tilted her head slightly to look in the direction of the door to see if it would stop, but it didn't. She sighed heavily, pulled herself up and made her way through the dark towards the door. She opened it slowly with the chain still connected and peeked to see who it was. "Renji?" she said in disbelief. She then closed the door again to unchain it and then she opened it back up.

"Yo," he said in a monotone with a not too thrilled expression on his face.

"How'd you know where I was?" Rukia questioned with curiosity evident.

"Well after a few days that you were already gone, I found out you went to the living world for some field work. Then you didn't come back for another two days and I got suspicious and went to see what was up. I figured you'd be here," he responded casually.

"In this hotel room?" she asked in disbelief.

He raised an eyebrow and frowned. "No, not in this hotel room," he said in a tone that rang, 'you idiot.' "I knew you were in Karakura."

She crossed her arms over her chest, "How'd you know I was _here_ though," she questioned pointing her index finger to the ground to indicate the exact location.

"Reiatsu," he said simply.

She raised an eyebrow, "_You_ used reiatsu to get here?"

"Yeah. What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked in irritation.

"Nothing," she said with a smirk. "So you came straight here?" she asked with the smirk still glued to her face and an eyebrow arched.

He hesitated and scratched the back of his neck. "I, eh, didn't come _straight_ here, no. I tried a few other rooms first."

She grinned, "That's what I thought." She then sighed and turned around, making her way into the room.

Renji started to follow but then hit the light switch next to the door. "What the hell, Rukia? Turn on a damn light."

Rukia flinched from the sudden light, but then sat on the edge of the bed. Renji continued in and leaned against the wall across from her.

"What's your problem?" Rukia questioned seeing Renji's irritated attitude.

He took this moment to get into it. "What are you doing here, Rukia?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and raised her chin slightly in the air. "I've been exterminating hollows. What did you think I was doing?" she asked sarcastically.

"You've been exterminating hollows?" he repeated in disbelief. "Tell me. Since when has it been a Vice Captain's job to do what the local shinigami is meant for?"

She glared up at him. "What the hell are you doing here, Rukia?" he asked her again with more of a push.

She sighed in response. "I don't know," she said softly, bowing her head to her lap.

This made him angrier. "What do you mean, you don't know?!"

Her head shot up and she glared, "I've been asking myself that since I took one step here!" she yelled back, but then quickly went back to her calm demeanor.

His voice was calmer now and he looked at her with sympathy. "You saw him, didn't you?"

She looked back down to her lap and let out a disgusted chuckle. "Pitiful, isn't it? The one thing I've been trying to forget for almost a decade is the one thing I came running back to," she spoke with her emotions running haywire.

"What are you trying to do?" he asked in a more caring voice.

She let out a sigh and looked back up with weak violet eyes. "I'm trying to fix things."

He shook his head, not being able to understand completely. "Rukia, you shouldn't be the one trying to fix things. How many times did I walk in on you crying your eyes out? If anything, he should be the one begging for forgiveness!"

She sniffled and shook her head in disagreement. "I'm not begging for forgiveness! And it wasn't just _his_ fault!" she argued back and then took a deep breath to calm herself. "But I don't care about it anymore. I'm trying to fix it because I saw what his life is, Renji. He's miserable. And whether I want to admit it or not, it's my fault. I have to change it," she argued softly looking straight into his eyes.

"Why do you care more about how his life is going than your own?" he asked; not understanding her at all.

She raised her voice slightly to get her point across. "Because he's _alive_, Renji!" she paused. "He's a human. He only has a limited amount of time to actually live." Her voice grew softer. "I'm dead, Renji. There's no rush for me to change. I have to make this better for him or at least I should. So please, let me do what I have to do," she spoke in such a tone that begged for his acceptance.

"So you're planning to help him? Just like that?" he asked; still in a disapproving voice.

She sighed and looked away from his deep gaze. "I know that I should, but I can't help but want to hold on to this damn grudge," she said gripping the bed comforter tighter.

Renji shook his head once again. "You're willing to hurt yourself even more to change things? Rukia, I can't let you do th-"

She cut him off as she stood up and brushed past him. She spoke; stopping for a second next to him without turning to face him. "This isn't your choice, Renji," she said easily and then walked past him completely through the door; leaving him furious. He let out a yell of anger and slammed the side of his fist against the wall.

* * *

Rukia walked. She didn't know where nor did she care. She just needed to be alone. She knew what she had to do, but what she didn't know was if she was strong enough to do it.

It was evening now and the sunset was a beautiful collection of purples and oranges. She had been engrossed in its mesmerizing hues and shades that seemed to explain her exact feelings. She was both sad and angry and the two contrasted in the sky as they did in her heart.

Eventually, her feet led her to the bridge in town that overlooked the river. Traffic was incredibly slow that day, so the scenery was perfect. She could take it all in and finally decide.

She rested her arms on the ledge and hunched over slightly as her eyes skimmed across the glittering water beneath her.

"It really is beautiful," a voice said from the side. Rukia jumped slightly and turned her head to see the approaching soft-smiling woman.

"Yeah," Rukia replied with no emotion, turning to look back at the water. Her friend took her place beside her as she too watched a boat sail in the distance. "What are you doing walking around here?" Rukia questioned; sounding anything but interested.

She smiled perkily and held up a paper bag. "I picked Uryuu up some sewing supplies and I just happened to see you walking by, so I came to say 'hello'!"

Rukia looked at the bag full of already half used yarn and needles with string still attached to it. She mentally shook her head at her friend. But chose to ignore it and turned to look back out at the river.

There was a silence for a moment, until Rukia spoke up again; neither taking their eyes off the tranquil water. "Short honeymoon?" she asked with a lackadaisical tone.

Orihime chuckled. "If you call two weeks 'short'…" Rukia's eyes widened slightly, but then understood.

"Have you locked yourself away this entire time?" Orihime asked casually.

Rukia's eyebrows furrowed and she finally turned to berate her friend. "I did not lock-" she then stopped herself. Yes; yes she did lock herself away. She exhaled and then turned back to the water. "I'm pathetic."

_When you try your best, but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want but not what you need  
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse?_

Orihime smirked and stared at her from the corner of her eye. "No. You're not." She paused for a moment and then watched a boat come out from underneath the bridge.

"When you were gone, I realized something. You're a shinigami, Rukia. You come from a world where you're duty is to protect both the dead and the living. You came to the living world and did exactly what your job asked of you; you protected a human. And immediately, you were thrown into this world that you, well, quite honestly, had no idea about any of it. But you had help coming into it and before any of us could really realize it, you belonged in a place that you always seemed to believe was a mistake to be in, in the first place." She paused for a few seconds as Rukia stared at the water below; both sad and thankful for her words.

_And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone but it goes to waste  
Could it be worst?_

"You're not pathetic, Rukia," Orihime continued. "If anything, you're afraid." Rukia then turned to look sadly at her friend. Orihime then smiled and turned to look at her raven haired companion. "And there is nothing pathetic at being scared every once in awhile."

_Lights will guide you home,  
And ignite your bones,  
And I will try to fix you,_

The shinigami sighed and then looked off the bridge. Orihime followed suit. "What am I doing here, Orihime?" she asked in dire need of knowing.

"You know the answer to that, Rukia," she said softly.

"But," Rukia began, furrowing her eyebrows. "I don't know if I want to."

"Sometimes the things you want the most can be the most misleading. Besides, you wouldn't be here if you didn't want to."

_High up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go  
But if you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth_

Rukia knew at least part of this had to be true, but she still had her doubts. "Then why do I still feel all this anger? I still want him to know he isn't the only one feeling so damn terrible!" she said; her voice revealing more emotion.

"You're angry because you're still hurting. And part of you is still hoping for _someone_ to take it all away," Orihime stated suggestively.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

'And that's clearly not happening.' The raven haired woman thought.

Rukia was taken aback. She was right; if not about everything, then most of it. It still hurt; it hurt so much.

"Believe it or not, Rukia, I do know quite a bit about one of my best friends, even though she tries to keep everything to herself," the strawberry blond smirked. "But listen. I don't know exactly what happened all those years ago, but I do know that you've taken this on, whether you admit it or not. And you've never turned a mission down before without trying."

They stared out at the almost set sun for what seemed like a never-ending silence. Rukia opened her mouth, but then hesitated. She bit her bottom lip and then took the plunge. "But what if I fail?" she asked in such a fragile voice that tugged on Orihime's heart, though she would not show it. She saw a tear slide down Rukia's cheek.

_Tears stream down your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace_

Orihime turned her head to look at her with a soft understanding smile. Rukia turned her head as well; awaiting her caring friend's answer. "You've never failed him before," she reassured.

_Tears stream down on your face  
And I_

Rukia closed her eyes and let out a thankful chuckle. She wiped away the remnants of the tear and looked back at her strawberry blonde companion. Her eyes were large and melted. And before Orihime could see it coming, Rukia threw herself into a tight embrace; her eyes shut with a smile across her lips. "Thank you."

_Tears stream down your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes_

Orihime was startled but then hugged back. "My pleasure." They separated. "Well, I guess I better get back home and give Uryuu his supplies!" she said holding up the bag triumphantly.

_Tears stream down on your face  
And I_

Rukia smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Tell him I said 'hello.'" Orihime smiled broadly. "Yep! See ya later, Rukia!" she said back in her perky mode. She turned and made her way off the bridge.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

Rukia shook her head at her retreating friend with a smile still on her face. 'The sewing supplies excuse didn't work for your _husband_ way back then either.' She chuckled.

Then, she sighed and looked at the sun's last bit peeking above the horizon. The purple was now a dark blue that had almost overtaken the orange. A sad expression graced her face and she nodded at the sky as if finishing a conversation. She then began to walk to a destination her heart both yearned and cried for; and for the first time in years, she accepted that.

_And I will try to fix you.

* * *

_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alright, so this was a chapter for you to understand that Rukia isn't the bad guy. They both hurt each other. She's just being an ass and trying to be strong. So she's going to try and fix him. Cute, huh? Anywho. Tell me what you think. You know the drill. Later


	5. Let Go

**A/N:** So here is another chapter. Not much to say. It's named after the song, "Let Go," by Archie Star. I heard this song months ago and kind of pictured it something like when it's used later. So I finally was able to use it. Anywho! Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own a t-shirt signed by Alex Gaskarth, who is the main singer of All Time Low. I saw them in concert on Sunday. It was amazing! Just thought I'd let you know.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

* * *

_Chapter 5: Let Go_

'So what if it's been two weeks? It's not like I expected any sort of miracle; like somehow when someone told me they would help me I'd believe them because I didn't. I didn't believe in anything anymore; that's a given,' he thought lying on top of his bed with his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling.

'It's not like it affected me that much anyway. I didn't change a god damn thing after that night of the wedding. And it's not like I should too. She just tried to give me hope that this pathetic excuse of a life could be different,' he scowled and exhaled a great amount through his nose.

'What makes her think I'd even let her try to do anything? She's the last person I would let in!' he thought angrily as he turned onto his side and pounded his fist into the mattress.

His livid expression seemed to falter. It changed into something unexpected; something sorrowful. '_"You mean too much to me to just let you go on like this," _that's what she said to me. That's what I've believed in for the past two weeks. That's what's been keeping me waiting during these past days.'

He frowned slightly and brought his hand up to his head to rub his temple. 'Her voice has been haunting me ever since. It's made me digress back to the beginning. Everything is coming back into my mind after all this time that I've been burying it away. Why does she continue to hurt me?'

He stayed lying there with his eyes closed for some time. He hadn't eaten dinner; he wasn't hungry. He just continued to lie there and forget everything, even if it was just for a moment.

He rehearsed what he had been saying to himself for the past eight years. 'There's no such thing as life after death. There's no such thing as hollows. There's no such thing as Soul Society. There's no such thing as shinigami. I've been living a lie. Let it go. Let it all go.'

Then, his eyes shot open. He was welcomed into a new train of thought. 'What if something happened to her? What if that's the reason I haven't seen her?' He then let out a disgusted chuckle. 'Now I'm giving excuses,' he thought as he let himself relax again.

He sat there for a moment, 'But what if something did happen?' He sat up on his bed. He debated what to do by looking down at his bed and then up to his bedroom door. He tapped his foot in anticipation as he was now seated on the side of his bed. Then he stood up and began to walk out.

* * *

She breathed in deep and then let it all out. She saw her breath in the crisp winter air and pulled her arms closer to her body; her hands clenched into fists in her pockets. She had been walking for ages. She made it to the Kurosaki Clinic and knew it was only a short walk down the road, but she couldn't do it. She turned down a different street and then continued into a complete circle. She was on the sixth lap now and it was around eight at night.

She was determined. What happened to that? Well, once her eyes settled on the Kurosaki house, her mind went haywire. Images were flooding her eyes and the memories began to hurt more than ever. She was over this. She told herself that over and over again, but her mind refused to believe it; or was it her heart?

"God, I hate him so much!" she let escape her mouth in frustration. He was always haunting her. "Why can't he just leave me the hell alone!" she yelled. It was as if her head weighed a thousand pounds and the only thing that could hold it up as it fell to the ground was her hands.

"_Seriously?! How do you fail three subjects?!" Rukia exclaimed as she slammed the door behind her, after following Ichigo into his room. _

_He rolled his eyes and threw his bag on his bed. "Shut up. You're acting like you're my parent or something."_

"_I can act like one if I want to. Now tell me why the hell you don't know anything! I call you an idiot all the time, but I didn't realize you really were one!" Rukia yelled in irritation and disbelief._

_He let out a muffled growl. "Why do you care so damn much?" he said with pure annoyance and a glare._

"_I care because if you're slipping in school, then it's most likely from doing shinigami work. So starting today, you're suspended from any shinigami duties," she said, turning her head in defiance and crossing her arms over her chest._

"_What?! Bullshit. I don't have to listen to you. Besides who will kill the hollows around here if not me?" he said not giving a damn what she really had to say in response._

_She gave a daring glare towards him, "I swear to god, Ichigo Kurosaki, if you lay one foot outside of your body, I will personally send you to Soul Society. And let's just say it'll be a permanent stay."_

"_Is that a death threat? I didn't know such a small person could make such big, empty threats. Surprising," he said in irritated amusement._

"_Well, if they had a class for being a total asshole, you'd be passing that with flying colors, now wouldn't you?" she said with just as much attitude._

"_You know I seriously don't understand why me failing a few classes bothers you so much. I'll just make up for it later on," he said casually as he turned around and began to look through his bag._

_She walked up to him and pulled on his arm; turning him to look at her. "And then you'll continue to push it off, just like you're studying that you said you'd always do later. See where that brought you?" she said now more in a caring tone._

_He sighed heavily and flared his nostrils. "I don't need anymore lectures from you, Rukia."_

_She squinted slightly. "Apparently you do if you're ruining your future for something that isn't even your problem."_

"_What do you mean, 'Isn't my problem?'" he asked agitated. "And what is my problem exactly?" _

"_School work, your future, your career. I know you love to help people Ichigo and I know you want to take over the clinic when you get older. You're never going to be able to do it if you don't pass high school first," she said in an urging voice._

_He looked to the floor. "I don't want to worry about that now," he said softly and almost sadly. _

"_Why is that?" she asked in a degrading tone. "Things change, Ichigo. It's something you're going to have to learn to accept."_

_He looked up with a glare. "What the hell is up your ass today, Rukia?"_

_She let out a sigh and turned her head away to not look at him. "Nothing, I'm just trying to make sure you don't do something you'll regret."_

_He looked at her suspiciously, as she tried to hide from his gaze. "Sounds like you're trying to lecture yourself. What's going on?" he asked seriously with a hint of concern._

_She hesitated, but then exhaled. She spoke softly. "I- I was asked to be promoted to Vice Captain of the thirteenth squad."_

_His face was then surprised. "That's- that's," he began; causing her to turn and look at him with sad eyes. "That's great!" he finished his sentence with enthusiasm. He had a true smile on his face and she couldn't help but enjoy something he rarely showed anyone. _

Rukia had enough. She shook her head furiously to stop the rest of that night from taking over her senses. "No, no, no. I'm done with the past. Come on, Rukia. Let's do this," she told herself as she finally made the turn down his street.

* * *

Ichigo had begun to walk down the stairs as his mind processed something he had pushed away

"_That's great!" he finished his sentence with enthusiasm. He had a true smile on his face and she couldn't help but enjoy something he rarely showed anyone. _

_She was somewhat surprised by his excitement. He continued, "It's about time that emotionless brother of yours pulled out that stick from up his-" _

_Rukia interrupted, not wanting to hear him finish. "I don't know if I want to take it," she said softly, looking away from him again and out the window._

_His contentment fell from his face as he finally saw her. "What do you mean? Why not?" he asked eagerly._

"_If I take it, it's a permanent placement, at least for a while. I'll be handling more paperwork and there really won't be any need for me to be sent to the living world when they have lesser ranked squad members," she said trying to get her point across as vaguely as possible._

_He opened his mouth to speak but found there wasn't anything to say. He thought for a moment and then spoke feeling somewhat awkward. "So you wouldn't be- ya know- here?"_

"_No. I wouldn't," she said and then smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Why? Would you miss me?"_

"_Hah! Yeah right! Who would miss a midget always telling me I'm doing something wrong or constantly coming into my room when they don't even stay in here anymore!" he argued, not letting his true feelings slip up._

_Rukia let out a small chuckle and looked back out the window. Ichigo was taken aback by this. She wasn't arguing back. _

_She then spoke. "Just lay off the shinigami work for awhile and do your damn schoolwork for once. You'll thank me later."_

"_And who am I supposed to let do it then?" he asked irritated by the subject change._

"_Me," she said simply._

"_Bullshit! I can't trust that you can handle it," he yelled back. He was pissed by the recent news and he wasn't ready to let her think she could handle herself completely._

_Timing was impeccable. Right then, the phone on Ichigo's desk began to beep; a hollow._

_Ichigo leaned over and picked it up. He looked at it for a moment and then looked up at her. _

"_Don't even think about it. Give it to me," she said holding her hand out. _

_He looked into her eyes. Her violet orbs swirled in determination. They were begging for him to listen to her. But his mind went in a different direction. 'If I give it to her, it's like I gave her permission to go on without me; to leave and accept that promotion. I- I can't let that happen,' he thought with a weight pressing against his chest._

"_I'm not ready," he said out loud as if telling himself his final decision on the matter. He then pulled his substitute shinigami badge out of his pocket and used it to get out of his body._

"_Ichigo!" she yelled in frustration._

"_Just let me handle this," he said in annoyance as he jumped out the window._

_She growled at his retreating form and then began to get out of her gigai._

He took a deep breath and then closed his eyes as he exhaled. "Not tonight. I won't let it control me tonight." He made it to the living room and felt his heart begin to race as his mind was now set on what to do; he was going to go find her.

He wanted to talk to her. _God_, he wanted to talk to her. He wanted to know how she was, what she thought of being Vice Captain, what she had been doing with herself. He wanted to know everything he missed. But another part of him wanted to know why he missed it all; why it all had to happen the way it did.

He thought about getting down on his hands and knees and asking for forgiveness; blaming it on the fact that he was only a kid. But then his stubborn side kicked in and defended himself saying that she deserved it. He then settled on the simple act of apologizing and trying to put it all behind them.

He had a new thought process now. He realized he could change something and he realized he could only do it by finding her. First, he was going to make sure she was okay. If she was, he would berate her on why didn't try to see him after she said she would. If she wasn't fine, well that was a different story. Meanwhile, Rukia had begun to make her way up the walkway.

_Step outside,  
my feet meet the pavement  
and I'm alright  
La da da da_

The door was about fifteen feet away and the sound of her feet hitting the asphalt resonated in her ears louder and louder with each step she took. Her breathing became heavier and that was easily seen in the cold air.

She then stood in front of the door and held her arm up to knock, but stopped in mid-swing.

He grabbed his black pea coat and put it on appropriately. He adjusted it to his body and then walked to his front door and reached for the door knob; he stopped in mid-stretch.

_I drive up  
and I see her outside  
Honey please  
come back to me just one time_

'I finally got here. Just knock. That's all you have to do and then everything will be easier,' she said to herself, not paying attention to her shivering body.

'Why are you hesitating? Open the door and go find her. You were so determined ten seconds ago!' he yelled at himself as he stayed in the same position.

_So what are you doing here?  
You know exactly what I'm doing here_

'I'm so close. With one simple movement from my hand, I can stop all of these memories from haunting me. I can fix it. I can get over it,' she said in her head.

'I want to find her. I want to make everything be like the way it was. I want to be able to bicker with her again; to make fun of her again; to have her make fun of me again. I want to… protect her again,' he thought with the last part hesitant.

_Just let this go  
I can't let go  
and she's got me screaming  
at night when I'm dreaming  
He's got me thinking  
I'm not good for anything_

She slowly undid her fist and then rested her palm on the cold door. She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against the door as well, not caring about its freezing surface.

He let his hand rest on the door knob, but refused to turn it. Instead, he rested his forehead against the door while raising his other hand to push his palm against it as well.

_Look at this mess we've made  
with only ourselves to blame_

They were practically touching, only there was an inch and a half of metal keeping them apart. There urging hearts began to fall as pain began to take over again; replacing their nervous faces with hurt-filled ones.

_I know all about  
your midnight mistakes,  
but I play dumb  
because the truth I can't face_

'He used to be so alive; so rebellious. Just being near him made _me_ feel alive again. I was looking forward to seeing the old Ichigo again when I came back. I figured just by being near him again could erase it all. But he wasn't the same. I'm not the same. He still hurts me.'

_And I know about all your mistakes  
Like all of the guys you  
were with on spring break_

'Seeing her awoke something in me. She seemed to have not changed one bit. It almost made me think I could push it all aside and pretend it never happened.'

_Come on, just stop  
I'm so sick of fighting  
and I look fine now,  
but inside I'm just dying_

They both furrowed their eyebrows as their eyes closed tighter.

'I don't want to do this anymore. It's useless,' they both thought as their anger boiled with their regret.

_Just let this go  
I can't let go  
and she's got me screaming  
at night when I'm dreaming  
He's got me thinking  
I'm not good for anything_

'I won't be the one begging. She said she would come to me. So I'll let her.'

'I've put more effort out than him. I can't do it anymore. If he wants, he can find me. It just hurts too much.'

He leaned off the door, walked up the stairs to his bed and threw himself on it, still in his coat. His face was buried in a pillow as he tried to sleep away everything he wanted.

She leaned away from the door with a tear down her cheek and made her way back down the walkway; away from everything she wanted.

* * *

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

And that is that. So now that I've written it, it kind of seems like a pointless chapter, except for finding out the beginning of what happened eight years ago. This seems thrown together. I feel bad about it, but I'm not hesitating anymore and just giving it to you. (Obviously – you're reading it) So ask questions, tell me something. You know the drill. Later


	6. Taking Chances

**A/N:** So here's the next chapter. Took awhile. I was into Run To You, so I apologize. But I have noticed that the songs I've been picking seem to be getting popular for some reason a little before when I update. It's strange. Like my next chapter is a song that has been getting noticed out of nowhere. I just find it strange. Sorry about the rant. Felt I should explain. This one is a little different from the songs I've used in the past. So don't judge! Celine Dion is usually not my cup of tea (except when we're talking about Titanic, otherwise…) but this song is pretty damn good. I must say. So "Taking Chances," by Celine Dion. Enjoy

Disclaimer: "Wishin' and Hopin' and Thinkin' and Prayin…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

* * *

_Chapter 6: Taking Chances_

"I'll write you a prescription for twenty tablets of two hundred and fifty milligrams of Vicodin. That should numb you right up," Ichigo said as he began to write out the form. "How did you manage to sprain your wrist anyway?" he asked curiously with a smirk. "Since when are you that clumsy?" he jabbed.

"Shut it," Tatsuki spat as she glared towards him. She kept rubbing her wrist and hissing in pain.

"Hey, stop rubbing. And put on that damn cast already. Do you _want_ to make that a permanent injury?" he asked incredulously as he tore the prescription form off the pad and handed it to her when she finished putting the cast on.

She sighed and grabbed the paper. She then looked up at him curiously as he turned to put away some equipment. "So when's the last time you saw her?"

He continued his action, but squinted in confusion before turning his head, "Huh?"

"You've got that hopeful face that is yelling out to everyone that looks at it, 'Do you know where she is?' And no, I don't, but you still need to answer my question," she responded with an all-knowing tone.

He raised an eyebrow. "My _face_ isn't yelling anything," he said stubbornly before turning and closing an open drawer.

"The hell it isn't!" she said with a chuckle. He turned back to her again with a glare this time.

"Listen, if my face _is_ yelling anything, then its most likely saying, 'Mind your damn business,'" he said gruffly.

Tatsuki chuckled for a second, but then went serious as she watched Ichigo move around the room swiftly. She eyed him carefully; trying to read his every move. "You know, instead of waiting around like you've been doing for eight years, why don't you actually act?"

He stopped completely. He slowly turned to her, "You make it sound easy," he said casually, yet soft.

"It _is_ easy, Ichigo. I just don't know how you could sit back and let the opportunity pass; not knowing when she'll leave again," she said, but then finished in her head, 'I don't understand how you could sit back and now go after someone you care about.'

He looked to the floor and the room was then filled with silence. "You should probably get on that medication as soon as possible," he said, finalizing the conversation.

Tatsuki sighed and as he looked back up into her eyes, she saw a longing for feeling. She saw his signal to stop with the subject; therefore she frowned sadly towards him. "Thanks," she said softly, standing up and walking over to the door. "I'll see ya," she said sadly before leaving.

He was her childhood friend. She remembered that happily smiling boy, who she could be in the dojo every time, and then she remembered the teenager he grew into who acted tough and miserable. It progressed worse now that he was a man. He still put up that tough image, only instead of being miserable; he looked… like he felt nothing. And now that Rukia had showed herself again after these few years, one thing was different; his eyes. His ambers showed desire for the simple capability to feel again.

Ichigo stood there resting his hands on the counter. He shook his head a little before raising his resting digits to his temples. He then proceeded to move them in a circular motion. "Why is everything so damn complicated?" he grumbled under his breath.

* * *

'Another long walk home. Nothing has changed like I thought it would,' he thought as his eyes glanced along the dry ground. The snow had melted, but the temperature remained low. The air itself felt dry as it traveled through his nostrils and into his lungs. 

He reached for his doorknob and unlocked it with his key. He walked in and just before he shut the door behind him, it was kicked open with a tremendous force. Ichigo twirled around quickly and before he could completely register it all, his back was met with the cold hard floor.

He had been punched right under the jaw and causing him to fly backwards. The bulky man standing over him had one distinct feature; red hair. "You're such an asshole," he said as he rubbed his knuckles after delivering a shockingly painful blow for him as well.

Ichigo squinted up at him. His head was a little dizzy after a startling and possible knock out punch. "Wha- the hell?" he managed to get out of his mouth as he reached up and felt his jaw.

"It took so fucking long for her to get out of that damn depression eight years ago. Then, she comes here for a mission and she doesn't return for two weeks! When I found out where the hell she was, she ended up being all bent out of shape! Saying something about it being all her fault! Well you know what, Kurosaki? That's bullshit! I don't know what the fuck you did to hurt her back then, but I'll be damned if I have to walk in on her crying to herself one more time! She's seen you what? Two times, and she's already digressing! Stay the hell away from her or if you're a real man, fucking apologize already!" he yelled as he continued to look down at the still startled orange headed man.

Ichigo's mouth was slightly ajar; from shock and also from it being too painful to close at the moment. He stared blankly at his reunited _friend_ until he realized something; something very important. He scowled immediately at the thought.

"I don't know where you got the fucking idea that you could invade my home and then punch me in the face, Renji Abarai, but I do know that you should shut the hell up and not get involved in things you don't know anything about," he growled towards him as he slowly got up off the floor and stood firmly in front of him.

Renji glared at his statement and then lunged forward. He grabbed Ichigo's shirt at his chest, grabbed his shoulder with his other arm, and then quickly pinned him against the wall.

"I don't give a flying fuck what you know or don't know! God I've only seen you for one minute and I'm sick and tired of looking at that 'begging for pity' face! But I'm here because if you're still affecting Rukia as much as you did back then, then it won't ever go away! You've got fix this. I'm not ready to watch you ruin her life again!" Renji yelled in his face. His eyes were blazing.

Ichigo seemed to not be intimidated by him. He made no effort to push him off, but instead just frowned at him. "You think she deserves no blame in all of this? Because I'll be damned if I let you go off thinking I haven't been miserable for the past eight years! Let me tell you something, Renji; I wasn't the one who left!" Ichigo ended up yelling, and surprisingly he was speaking the truth. That was the most he told someone about the topic and he never thought he would have even said that much.

Renji stared into his amber eyes that were so revealing at the moment. They told him that Ichigo had said far too much than he wanted to and that he was not going to fight him; he was not going to defend himself anymore.

Renji's assumptions were right. Ichigo was ready to take another hit gladly. He felt he deserved it. He felt like he should be beaten the shit out of because just by saying that small bit of information, he felt weak. He knew people thought he was ever since she left, but he never wanted to give them proof. He never wanted to give them enough evidence to say it to his face. But the evidence had leaked out and now he wanted the punishment.

Renji then let go of his shoulder and shirt silently. He then spoke softly, "It may have been both of your faults, but the fact that she is willing to take the entire blame to get you out of whatever hole you are stuck in, shows just how much you need to go to her."

He began to walk to the door, but stopped as he put his hand on the doorknob; getting ready to close it. "Don't let her think it's all her fault. You'll end up hurting her even more. It's already taking effect," he said simply before shutting it behind him.

Ichigo stood against the wall where he had just been slammed against. He opened and closed his jaw slowly a few times as he felt the pain coarse threw it. He hissed slightly. Then he leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. He ran his hand through his orange locks and breathed in and out slowly, but heavily.

He then bowed his head down in front of him until something caught his attention. He then looked in the direction of the door as the pulse continued to hit his body. "Hollow," he said out loud with urgency before reaching for the doorknob.

* * *

Her pure white zanpaktou was moving gracefully through the air as she took her time in exterminating it. She didn't feel like going straight for the kill, but instead, decided to let her adrenaline rush and maybe she'd get rid of some of her stress. 

The sun was beginning to set and the battlefield consisted of the back of a supermarket parking lot. It was empty in the back, luckily.

She was basically playing with the hollows mind; waiting until the last second to dodge, or only giving it a small scratch with her blade as she moved quickly around the battlefield.

She loved the fact that she had control because in certain situations, it seemed out of her hands. And that scared her. She didn't know how much it would hurt if she received a blow the wrong way.

She got too lost into her thoughts when the hollow made a surprising attack; managing to make a small gash on her right cheekbone before she could completely dodge out of the way. It began to bleed slightly.

Rukia gave it a murderous look as she raised her beautiful blade and said, "Dance." With that said and done, the hollow was good as gone. And as it slowly evaporated, something was revealed to Rukia about twenty feet away; or more like someone.

He stood there with his hands in his khaki pockets sluggishly. His black leather jacket was unzipped, revealing an old band shirt that she remembered seeing. He stood there in a stance she was familiar with. It wasn't in his mature manner she had been acquainted with when she returned, but instead, it was as if she saw a glimpse of the rebellious teenage boy standing in front of her again. He scowled, but in his normal way. It almost broke Rukia's heart to see her old friend; the one she wanted to see again; not the changed one.

They stood there standing still; staring at each other in silence. No words were said. They both knew what the other was saying in their minds and in their actions. Finally, Rukia made the short, but slow walk towards him.

She stopped when they were about three apart. "What are you doing here?" she asked softly with eyebrows furrowed, but her eyes hopeful.

He continued to stare softly into her violet eyes. He shrugged his shoulders, "I'm here to see you."

She was confused and her face showed it, "How'd you find me?"

He smiled; something she would have never expected him to do. "I knew a hollow was nearby. And I knew you'd run for it first."

She was somewhat speechless. He was being civil with her. It seemed like there was nothing wrong at all… and she loved the way he smiled at her at that moment, but she couldn't falter just yet. Her face was now suspicious. "What's going on, Ichigo?"

His smile fell and he leaned his chin up into the air slightly. "Eight years, Rukia. Eight. That's enough. I'm tired; everything about me is tired. And you probably are too. I don't know how long you're here for, but," he paused and frowned slightly. He bowed his head to the ground and stared at his shoes before looking back up into her eyes with a sincere look, "I want to be able to talk to the girl that changed my life all those years ago."

Rukia raised her eyebrows from yet another surprise. She opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it; not being able to find the right words. She bowed her head down this time and smiled towards the ground. She then looked back up, "I see your wardrobe hasn't changed much."

He raised an eyebrow at her and then looked down at his shirt. "Just because I grew up a little doesn't mean I don't appreciate kick ass music," he smirked.

She shook her head at him and then he walked closer to her, "What the hell happened to you? You let a hollow like that hit you? Geez, you really have let yourself go," he said raising his hand and wiping his thumb over her bleeding gash on her cheek.

Her throat grew tight from the unexpected contact and her eyes grew wide. Then, his remark sunk in. "Hey! I was distracted! A scratch like that won't kill me, ya know!"

He smirked, "Yeah, yeah. I know. You can handle yourself," he said putting his hands back into his pockets.

Rukia then noticed something unexpected. "What's that on your jaw?" she squinted to get a better look.

"Eh," he began raising his hand up without thinking. "Oh. It's nothing," he lied with a nonchalant look.

She raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Doesn't look like nothing."

He sighed, "Just a little reality check, that's all. Don't worry about it."

"Dr. Kurosaki?" a voice was heard from his left. He looked and saw his patient with the little girl he had found adored Chappy as much as the woman in front of him now.

"Uh-Hello there!" he put on a fake smile. The little girl giggled and took the lollipop, which happened to be Chappy, out of her mouth. "Who ya talkin' to?" she asked innocently.

"Um," he began as he realized he had been openly talking to Rukia when she was not in her gigai. He looked at the raven haired woman awkwardly, then back at the mother and daughter. He rubbed the back of his neck in discomfort as he heard Rukia laughing next to him. "No one! I was just singing a song to myself!" he said with a big smile.

The mother frowned and nodded slowly, grabbing her daughter's hand and pulling her away. "Bye, Ichigo! Bye, funny-robe-girl!" the little girl yelled with a smile as she was led away by her mother towards the store.

Ichigo stared at the little girl's retreating form with surprise. His mouth was slightly ajar. Rukia was even slightly surprised, "Well, that was unexpected."

"You're telling me," he said not looking at her. He then turned to her again. "I-" he was then cutoff by Rukia's phone beeping. She looked at it, frowned and then looked back up.

"I should probably take care of this. Plus, you should probably get out of here before more people think you've lost your mind," she said jokingly.

He nodded with a sigh. "I'll see ya?" he asked as she started to walk backwards.

"Yeah," she said with a smile. "I promise this time." She then shunpoed off.

* * *

"Yo, Ichigo," Chad said casually as he walked through the door. He had gone back to Mexico a day after the wedding after getting a call about an interview. He had applied for a job at a local high school and he had to return otherwise the opportunity would have passed. He came back to Karakura to spend the rest of his vacation time. 

"Hey Chad. How'd the interview go?" Ichigo said putting the remote down on the coffee table and turning on the couch to look at his friend behind him.

"It went good. I've just been having doubts ever since I got on the plane," he responded coming around the couch and sitting in a chair to the left of the couch. He let out a loud sigh as he leaned back into the chair in the dark.

"What do you mean? You've been looking forward to a job like this since freshman year in college. What could have possibly given you doubts?" Ichigo questioned with surprise.

Chad turned his head to look straight at Ichigo, but stayed silence. His gesture said it all.

"Chad," Ichigo said softly. "Don't stop your life because of me. I'm fin-"

Chad cut him off. "_Are_ you fine, Ichigo? Because this wasn't the guy I grew up with," he said nodding his head in his direction as he spoke.

Ichigo exhaled and leaned his head back so that he was then looking at the ceiling. "What is up with the big talks today?" he said more to himself than anyone. He looked back down at Chad. "Listen. People change. That's life. So what if I'm not the same person? Does it disgust you that much?" Ichigo said with his voice getting more irritated.

"No, it doesn't disgust me. It bothers me. And I don't want to get into an argument. I just want to talk to you," Chad said in his usual calm tone.

"Oh there's no way we'd be able to get in an argument," Ichigo said in an annoyed manner as he sat upright, "because we both agree. I'm fucked up! I get that! But that doesn't have anything to do with you! You can't save me! No one can! So stay out of my life!" he yelled with fury.

Chad stared at his friend for a moment with sadness in his eyes. He couldn't reach him. He wished he could. Ichigo was always there for him, but whenever he was given the chance to repay him, he felt he always failed.

He stood up and began to walk in the direction of his room before he stopped without turning around to look at Ichigo directly. "You were always so strong, Ichigo. I looked up to you. Now when I look at you, all I see is weakness. And I pity you. You don't even have the strength to ask for help. It's not that no one can save you; it's that you won't let them," he said softly and then continued to walk to his room and shut the door.

Ichigo was hit hard by his friend's words. Every word was true and he knew it. It was only then that he had come to realize it. Or maybe he did realize it, but it was then that he first admitted it to himself. It was then that his worst fear came true; someone had said it to his face.

His rendezvous with Rukia earlier that day was simply a facade. He wasn't over it at all. He was still a mess, but Renji's words worked their way into his head and they began to torment him. "_Don't let her think it's all her fault. You'll end up hurting her even more. It's already taking effect."_

The fact is, no matter how much it hurt or pissed him off to think about her, he still cared. He didn't really think about how much it affected her as well, and to think she had finally begun to live her life again until he had reunited with her, surprisingly bothered him. He knew he was long gone, but she had apparently moved on. And to hear he had caused her to go backwards irritated him.

He began to get angry at himself due to it being another thing to go on his conscience. He knew what it was like to be miserable, and to hear she had found a way out, actually made him want to applaud her. When it all comes down to it, he still believed in the fact that she had saved him all those years ago and that he had to do whatever he could to return the favor; no matter how many times she would have said not to worry about it anymore. That was Ichigo's nature; no matter how much he changed.

He took a deep breath and rolled his head back and forth along his neck. Then, he stood up, picked the remote up and turned the television off. He took one step and then stopped in his tracks. The door bell had rung.

He looked at the door with suspicion and then made his way towards it slowly. When he opened it, his face showed surprise underneath the mask of no emotion. "What are doing here?" he asked without much effort. He stepped back a little to let her in.

She walked in and shrugged, "I promised to see you around. Besides, I had nothing else to do," Rukia said casually.

"You're soaked. Why don't you have an umbrella?" he asked as if she were stupid. She had on a jean jacket with a white tank top underneath it, along with a plum colored skirt. Her short raven hair tuck to her neck while strays of hair hung wet in her face.

"I don't know. Didn't really think about," she said nonchalantly.

_Don't know much about your life.  
Don't know much about your world, but  
Don't want to be alone tonight,  
On this planet they call earth._

He shook his head at her response. She spoke again. "What are you doing right now?"

"I was about to go to bed."

She raised an eyebrow and then her eye caught a clock hanging on the wall behind him. She leaned to the side to get a better look around him and then leaned back. "It's only eight o'clock."

It was Ichigo's turn to shrug. "This is when I usually go to bed."

"You go to sleep at eight?" she repeated in disbelief.

"Just because a person goes to bed, doesn't mean they go to sleep," Ichigo argued back, sensing her judgment.

_You don't know about my past, and  
I don't have a future figured out.  
And maybe this is going too fast.  
And maybe it's not meant to last,_

"Well usually that's what one would assume a person does when they say they were going to bed," Rukia responded.

"You can read, or watch television in bed. Or if you're sick, you can rest in bed. Or you can- well- do other things," Ichigo said, catching himself off guard at how awkward his last comment was.

Rukia raised both eyebrows at him due to her being surprised he would say that. She shook her head to wipe off her uncomfortable reaction and then spoke. "Nevertheless, you're coming with me," she said beginning to turn around.

"What? Where?" Ichigo asked eagerly in confusion.

_But what do you say to taking chances,  
What do you say to jumping off the edge?  
Never knowing if there's solid ground below  
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,  
What do you say,  
What do you say?_

Rukia turned back to him, "Out there," she motioned with her head towards the door.

"Are you kidding me? It's raining like hell out there! You know how I feel about the rain," he said with pure resistance.

She gave him a sad look and then walked closer to him. "Does the rain still bother you? That was years ago, Ichigo."

"We could catch pneumonia! How would it look if a doctor went against his own advice?" he said pushing out another excuse.

She then smiled at him softly. "Ichigo, when was the last time you actually lived?"

He opened his mouth to respond, but found no words to reply. He closed his mouth as she grabbed his wrist and pulled him out the open door; running into the street.

_I just want to start again,  
And maybe you could show me how to try,  
And maybe you could take me in,  
Somewhere underneath your skin?_

When they were in the middle of the street, Rukia let go of his wrist and ran about ten feet; stopping to look up to the sky with her eyes closed. She held her arms out to each side with her palms catching the raindrops as they fell. She spun in circles as nature's music allowed her to dance.

_What do you say to taking chances,  
What do you say to jumping off the edge?  
Never knowing if there's solid ground below  
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,  
What do you say,  
What do you say?_

Ichigo stood there in silence as he captured her image. He rarely ever saw her so carefree and when he did, he would make sure to take the time to let it all in. The corners of his lips twitched slightly until he took in a deep breath and turned his head up towards the sky. The rain fell on his face and he refused to move; wishing it could wash away the many frowns he had given and had yet to give. Standing there and letting go of all the weight he carried allowed him to for once feel at peace.

_And I had my heart beaten down,  
But I always come back for more, yeah.  
There's nothing like love to pull you up,  
When you're laying down on the floor there.  
So talk to me, talk to me,  
Like lovers do.  
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,  
Like lovers do,  
Like lovers do._

Then, he felt a grasp on both of his hands. His eyes shot open and he found himself staring back into her gentle violets. She smiled widely and began to spin in a circle with him. He smiled back as well and then followed in her action by grabbing her waist and lifting her into the air. He spun her around with her legs hanging in the wind. She was startled, but quickly grabbed his shoulders for support.

They were both laughing as they excepted each other for who they were, for the first time in many years. He set her down in front of him, but as their eyes met again, their grins fell as the stare grew more intense.

Their breathing was heavy and the rain continued to drip down on them. Drops had accumulated at the ends of her raven locks and his orange, but as the rain conintued to pound down, time seemed to stop for the two.

_What do you say to taking chances,  
What do you say to jumping off the edge?  
Never knowing if there's solid ground below  
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,  
What do you say,  
What do you say?_

This was what they missed; this feeling; this feeling they still didn't understand. But that was why they were so drawn to it. It was going on beyond what they knew.

And as the moment continued to build towards the climax, her phone beeped in alarm. They both were a little startled, but as soon as they realized what it was, they knew the moment was over.

She looked at the phone signaling a hollow and then looked back up at him sadly. He smiled softly at her and nodded into the right direction. "Go," he said softly with understanding.

She gave him an apologetic smile, walked backwards a few steps, and then turned around completely to run. She was running to do what she was meant to do… and somehow, that was never including what she wanted to do.

_Don't know much about your life.  
__And I don't know much about your world...

* * *

_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ignore grammar mistakes please. So maybe I surprised you by how much they actually interacted in this chapter. It's a complicated predicament. Ichigo is being cooperative as to not hurt her anymore, ignoring his reasons. Rukia is doing basically the same thing to him. And I believe Ichigo's icy exterior is slowly getting chipped away whether he notices or not. shrugs We'll see where this goes.

But I do have an important question for you. My plans for this story have changed dramatically. I'm going to put in a plot. Wasn't planning on it, but I'm putting a major one in. So here's where you guys need to tell me – do I stick by the way I originally planned by keeping this story like the manga/anime without obvious romance? Or do I get things steamy? That's up to you. But you guys have to tell me otherwise I'll be forced to make the decision which will take who knows how long. So please tell me what you want. Alright, so I'm done talking. Later


	7. Ghost of You and Me

**A/N:** Okay. So I know what I'm doing with the story. You should get the idea by the end of this chapter, so I'll let you find out. Also, ended up picking an old song for this chapter. BBMak, "Ghost of You and Me." Who remembers them? Yeah, long time. Anyway, I put a lot of effort into writing this all out for you fast. Basically sat down and wrote it in probably two sittings. So I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: gasp I would never!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

* * *

_Chapter 7: Ghost of You and Me_

"Hey, Yuzu. How was lunch?" Ichigo asked coming out of an office where an older man had just been examined for his joints not working the same way as they used to.

She smiled up at her brother after she put a file into its correct place in the cabinet next to her. "It was great! He took me to that new café down by the corner near the supermarket. It was so delicious!"

Ichigo gave a suspicious glare. "Ah, Jinta. How _is_ the runt doing?" he asked in annoyance, yet trying to be polite for his sister.

"Ichigo," she said in an all-knowing tone. "He's changed, ya know? He's not the same boy as you first met him," she said in defense.

His hands were in his pockets and he rolled his eyes at the comment he had heard a million times. "Yeah, yeah. I know, Yuzu. But remember what I told you," he began in a well rehearsed manner, "If that brat ever does anything to hurt you-"

She cut him off as she lazily finished his sentence, "You'll beat him to a pulp."

He raised an eyebrow at her response, "I've never said the word 'pulp' more than twice in my life. I believe the correct phrase you were looking for was, 'I'll beat the living shit out of him,'" he completed with a cocky smirk.

She gave him a glare as she handed him a clipboard with the next patient's information on it. "You're so protective, Ichigo," she said in a slightly annoyed tone.

Ichigo smiled at her as he placed the clipboard under his arm to his side. "Well, I've gotta be. The old man will just be crying in the corner about how his little girl is all grown up," he said beginning to walk towards the next office to his next patient.

"Oh, and you next patient is the first time they've come here," she added with his back facing her. She smirked at his obliviousness.

"Mhm," he said beginning to open the door. When it was open, his mouth dropped slightly. "What…?" he asked in a baffled tone.

"Can you just sit still for one minute?! I swear to god, you're like a child!" the redhead yelled pushing down on her shoulders to stay seated. She pouted in response causing Ichigo to raise an eyebrow at her behavior. He finally looked down at the clipboard, _'Rukia Kuchiki'_.

He looked back up and saw her head turned to the side to avoid his gaze with her arms crossed over her chest. He couldn't help but let a smirk show on his lips as he noticed how childish she was being. She wore a pair of tight jeans and a yellow button down blouse. Her yellow zip-up jacket lay behind her on the bed. He looked back down at the clipboard to read her reason for this lovely visit.

'_Cut by rusty nail. Needs Tetanus shot.'_ Ichigo was brought back to his surroundings when Renji began to speak to him. The doctor looked up to listen.

"We were chasing down a hollow this morning, but she stayed in her gigai since there wasn't much time to stop and find a place to put it. It led us to some little kids' tree house and the bastard put up a nice fight. He went for Rukia at one point and flung her into the tree. One of the nails from the stupid ladder went straight through her hand and well, here we are," Renji finished as he shook his head at her stubborn attitude still evident.

Ichigo frowned in confusion. "Couldn't you have just healed her hand?"

Rukia remained silent in her holier than thou pose. Renji sighed, "Her gigai is affected by the damn rusty nail. I don't know the medical reasons but she can't open her damn mouth. And I know that usually would be a dream come true, but-" he was cut off by a tissue box hitting him in the cheek.

Rukia gave him a deathly glare, but then she winced as her reasons for being here became obvious. She raised a hand to her jaw as she looked towards the floor.

Ichigo's face became serious as he set the clipboard down near the sink. Most of the information was a lie anyway. Ichigo walked up to Rukia and placed both his hands on the sides of her face, but more towards her jaw.

She was startled and looked up quickly. His amber eyes were completely focused on his duty; avoiding any eye contact. His fingertips were coarse, yet they seemed comforting.

He moved his fingers to feel how tense her muscles had grown. "Lockjaw," he said simply as he turned away from her. She exhaled, through her nose, as his warm touch left her face. He was treating this seriously; something she honestly didn't expect. She figured he would make fun of her about the fact she couldn't speak, like Renji did. But he didn't. She didn't know how to feel about that.

Renji's phone began to beep. "Ah damn it. Is it alright if I take care of this, Rukia? Will you be alright here?" he asked sadly.

She gave him a glare that said, 'Of course she was fine here,' as she nodded. He nodded in response, "I'll check on you when I'm done." He ran out of the office leaving the two alone.

Ichigo turned back to Rukia and gave her a stern look, "You're gonna need a tetanus shot."

Both of her eyebrows raised in a "You've got to be kidding me,' manner. She then shook her head back and forth eagerly.

Ichigo sighed. "You can't even open your mouth, Rukia. Relax, it's only a shot. You've been stabbed through the stomach by a damn sword! This is barely a prick!" Ichigo said in disbelief.

She continued to shake her head, but as he raised the needle in his hand, she jumped off the bed and made it for the closed door. He quickly moved and grabbed her wrist; holding her back.

She pulled as hard as she could, but his grip was tight. She then began to kick, which allowed her to get free for a moment. But just as her hand was about to touch the door handle, he hooked an arm around her stomach from behind and pulled her back into his body. His other hand still held the needle.

She groaned in desperation, but he ignored it. "Stop being a damn baby. You know I wouldn't hurt you so relax, damn it!" he yelled in annoyance. He felt her tense body relax, but he couldn't see her face from his position.

She was surprised he had said that out loud, but the manner in which it was said down played it a bit. She trusted him, but of course she had her doubts from personal experiences of him in fact breaking that promise.

"Rukia," he said softly to break the present silence. He loosened his grip around her waist, allowing her to turn to look at him slightly.

Her eyes were so violet at that moment. She really was like a child at the moment. A stupid shot made her all upset. "Let me give you this shot so we can get dinner tonight," he said in more of a command than a question. He had a small smile across his lips.

Her eyes widened. 'Did he really just say that? It's so… out of character,' she thought as she tried to read his amber eyes.

Then, like a flash, she felt a prick on her upper arm causing her to flinch. She looked down and saw he had given her the shot while she had been distracted. He pulled out the needle, leaving a drop of blood in its place.

She looked up at him with a frown as if he had tricked her. He took a cotton swab which had rubbing alcohol on it and rubbed her arm gently. His eyes met hers again, "Wasn't as bad as you thought, huh?"

She frowned in defeat and turned away. "I'll be right back," he said leaving the small room.

Rukia went back on top of the bed and then laid down on it. She looked at the tiled ceiling. A few days ago they had been at each other's throats. Now they were bickering like always; excluding the fact she didn't actually speak, but still. She didn't know what to think of it really. He changed his mind out of nowhere. Why? She couldn't figure him out. He was always so complicated, but she usually could understand him one way or another. But at that moment in the clinic, Ichigo Kurosaki was a mystery to her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She felt the muscles in her jaw begin to tingle. Then, sleep took over.

* * *

Her eyes fluttered open. She didn't move for a moment until she had no memory of where she was. She sat up slowly and saw a white coat over her body. 'I'm still in the clinic?' she thought in confusion. The door to the room was open and as if timing was perfect, Ichigo walked in. She then realized whose white coat that was, which made her smile to herself.

He walked over to a drawer and pulled something out and held it behind his back. He approached her, causing her to glare at him in suspicion. "Here," he said holding out one of his ever-so popular Chappy lollipops. "For finally being a big girl after kicking me," he said sarcastically.

She continued to glare, but happily took the gift. "Also," he added as he pointed to her arm where the shot had been. "I figured you'd prefer this over a regular one," he said as she noticed the print of Chappy over the bandage. She smiled widely this time.

"You actually remembered that?" she asked mumbling, looking back up at him.

He smiled in return this time, "How could I forget an addiction like that?" Then he tilted his head slightly to the side, "And I bet you're glad you got that shot now, huh? Guess who can talk again?"

She then showed surprise and flew her hands to her jaw. She opened and closed it slowly. She stood up and immediately started jumping in excitement. "Oh my god, thank you!" she yelled as she hurled herself on Ichigo without a second thought.

He was beyond surprised. He didn't know how to react actually. She had her arms wrapped around his neck tightly as he stumbled from the impact. He just kept his arms open and before he could process a correct response, she was off of him. He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.

Rukia then realized what she had just done and immediately turned away from him. She saw her jacket on the bed and quickly went for it to cover her immediate turn. She was screaming at herself in her head at that moment. She quickly twirled around and smiled at him, which was one of her classic fake smiles, so he knew she was uncomfortable as well.

"So, thanks. I'll see ya around!" she said making her way for the door.

"Woa! Hold on," he said hastily. "Here's a few days worth of penicillin. Take two a day," he said handing her a bottle of pills.

She stared at the bottle for a moment and then looked up at him with a sincere smile and nodded. She turned to and opened the door, but before she could walk out, he spoke again.

"Show up at my place around six-thirty. We'll go to a new place I've heard good things about. It's nothing fancy, so just wear what you have on," he said casually.

Her mind went crazy at that moment, 'Was he serious? I thought he said that to distract me?!' she thought urgently. 'Well, what does it matter? We're friends now. Friends hang out. What's wrong with that?' she continued to argue with herself. 'But it doesn't change the fact how this just seems… strange.'

Ichigo raised an eyebrow and tilted his head to the side, "Rukia? You alright there?"

She shook her head from getting too distracted by her thoughts. "Oh, um, yeah. I'm fine. Dinner sounds great," she said with a polite smile. She then waved and ran out of the office.

Ichigo couldn't help to notice how awkward she was acting. 'Does she not want to go to dinner or something?' he thought to himself. He then bent down to pick up his coat, which she had flung off her when she decided it was a good idea to embrace someone she resented for eight years. He didn't know what to think of it really. It was just… strange.

* * *

"Feeling better, Rukia?" Yuzu asked sweetly as she saw her exit the room.

"Uh, yeah. Much," Rukia responded with an equally sweet smile. "I'm in a hurry, but I'll come by soon, okay?" she said making her way towards the front door.

"I'll be looking forward to it," the youngest Kurosaki said before going back to the computer and typing.

Rukia rushed out of the door and then leaned against it once she closed it. She took a deep breath and then closed her eyes as she leaned the back of her head into the door more. Everything felt weird to her at the moment; so foreign. She had to get out of there fast to avoid uncharted territory.

She opened her eyes and gave a nervous face. "Dinner?" she said out loud to herself. Then, her phone rang. She looked at it and answered. "Vice Captain Kuchiki," she said immediately. She frowned and nodded as if they could see her, "Right away," she said and then started to run.

* * *

It was six-forty-three. He kept looking at his watch and then at the clock on the wall thinking maybe one of the two was wrong, yet they both said the exact same time. He sighed and continued to pace.

'Why am I getting so paranoid? She's just running a little late. It happens. No big deal. Just relax. You look like you're about to go out on a date or something!' he berated at himself.

Chad walked into the living room at that moment. "Got a date or something?" he asked as he went for the fridge.

"What?" Ichigo asked incredulously. He then chuckled, "Hell no. I'm just waiting for her to show up so we can eat some food already. I'm starved."

Chad looked through the fridge but continued to talk, "So you are waiting for some girl, so you can go out to dinner. You're pacing and freaking out because she's most likely late. But it's not a date at all," Chad finished with the last statement in his most sarcastic tone. He finally pulled out a carton of milk and turned to look at Ichigo.

"Why would I be going out on a date with Rukia?" Ichigo questioned again incredulously.

Chad smiled and responded by simply opening the carton and drinking out of it. He let his silence answer Ichigo's question.

The orange headed man raised an eyebrow. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Chad then reached over into a basket on the counter and grabbed an apple. He took a nice crunchy bite and chewed as he stared at Ichigo.

"As if I'd ever think of _her_ that way!" he responded in irritation.

Chad just nodded, "Mhm."

"What the hell do you mean, 'mhm'?" Ichigo questioned urgently.

Chad shrugged and smiled as he took another drink out of the carton.

"No, I want to know what you mean, Chad!" Ichigo asked again.

"You're making a big deal out of something that you would never think about," Chad said with a knowing smirk.

Ichigo glared, "Shut up." He on the arm of the couch and then spoke again, "And don't even think about putting that carton back in the fridge. You're buying a new one," he said still irritated.

Chad chuckled to himself. There was silence, well, except for the loud crunches from Chad eating his apple. But, Ichigo soon broke it; now calm.

"I'm sorry," he said, which surprised Chad slightly. "I'm sorry about, well, ya know. Yelling at ya and stuff. You didn't deserve it. Besides… you were right."

"Don't worry about it. I know you don't mean to be as big an ass as you are," he said taking another drink.

Ichigo smirked with a glare, "And Mexico apparently gave Chad a backbone…" This caused Chad to chuckle again.

"But seriously, I don't want you to give up on that teaching job," Ichigo added.

"Actually, I've noticed that the longer I spend here, the more I realize I miss it. It's home. I don't think I want to go back," Chad said.

Ichigo smiled at him, "Well, whatever you choose, I'll support you." Chad nodded with appreciation as they sat in silence.

Ichigo sighed, "Why _am_ I freaking out anyway? I'm acting like a damn teenager again."

Chad threw the apple core into the garbage, "A teenager who is going on a date," he corrected.

Ichigo glared once again. Then, his face showed as if he was hit in the face with a brick. 'Is this really a date?' he thought. "I _did_ ask her to dinner. Well, I demanded it, but it's the same thing," Ichigo thought out loud.

Chad leaned his back against the fridge as he watched his friend evaluate the situation that he already figured out. He took another swig of milk.

"Oh shit. Is that why she was acting weird when she left today?" he asked with a bit of fear on his face. It was silent for a moment as Chad stared blankly back at him. Then, Ichigo chuckled to himself. "This is _Rukia_ we're talking about. Wow. I almost lost it there," he said as he chuckled again.

The doorbell then went off. Ichigo sat up straight in alarm. Then, he stood up and waved to his tall friend, "See ya, Chad."

Chad watched him walk towards the door and then he made his way towards his room. 'I don't know what happened in the past few days, but it looks like you've taken my advice on letting someone save you. Even if it isn't me saving you, I've finally been able to help you.'

* * *

Ichigo had on an orange hoody with a pair of jeans. Rukia took this into account a smirked when she saw him. "What?" he asked closing the door to his apartment behind him.

"Oh, nothing," she said holding back a chuckle.

He frowned, "Yeah right. What is it?" he said as they began to walk towards the café.

"You're shirt is as bright as your hair," she said beginning to laugh.

"Oh shut it," he said with annoyance. He then began to pull it over his head, and Rukia looked over at him, surprised by this.

"What are you doing?" she asked incredulously.

"I'm not ready to go head first into a town where they'll just do the same as you. I'm not wearing it," he said pulling it up over his head so that his face was hidden.

"Oh come on, it's not that bad," she added with a laugh.

"You're still laughing!" his muffled voice was heard say.

"No, I'm not!" she argued before her eyes caught a glimpse of his revealed fit abdomen. She felt a tingle up her spine from the sight. His shirt underneath his hoody had apparently got caught as he was taking it off.

His head finally showed itself again as he pulled his long sleeved black shirt down to cover himself again. Rukia blinked a few times to get her out of her daydream.

"You're going to freeze, you idiot," she added as he tucked it under his arm.

"I'll deal," he said as they continued to walk.

"I will never understand how men think they are immune to the cold. It doesn't make any sense. Like when they wear shorts in the middle of January; it's stupid!" Rukia explained with irritation.

Ichigo smirked, "It's because women raise their blood temperature from all their damn complaining and yelling."

Rukia glared up at him as he continued to smirk looking forwards. She then kicked him in his leg, causing him to hop from the pain as he held his leg.

"What the hell? I was kidding!" he yelled.

"You are so paying my bill tonight," Rukia said sternly as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Like you would have paid anyway," Ichigo mumbled, even though she heard him perfectly. She smirked in response.

* * *

Dinner went fine. It was awkward at first due to Keigo managing the café. He came over and asked if Ichigo had finally decided to marry the girl. _That_ wasn't awkward at all. But they set him straight, but they couldn't help but feel that he wasn't convinced they weren't dating.

After that, they enjoyed the food and talked about what it was like being Vice Captain or what it was like being a doctor. Aside from Rukia throwing a slice of lemon at Ichigo after he called her 'midget,' and then the fact that when it stuck to his face, she laughed even harder when she found the irony and called him 'Citrus Head,' the night went well.

They were on their walk back to his apartment now when a new subject was brought up. "My sister said you left in a hurry today. Any reason?" He wanted know if he made her uncomfortable. He figured that was the reason she ran out of there. 'Why am I still freaking out over this? It's not a date, damn it!' he yelled at himself.

"Oh," Rukia stalled knowing full well that she ran the hell out of there basically due to fear. Fear of _what_? She didn't really know, but she ran anyway. Then, her mind clicked to something important. "I got a call from Soul Society." Then she realized _that_ topic she wanted to avoid even more.

Ichigo raised his eyebrow at her. "Oh yeah? What did they have to say?"

She wrapped her arms around her waist subconsciously and continued to talk, "It's about my current mission. Things have been get-"

"Wait," he interrupted. "Take this," he said holding his hoody out to her as they continued to walk.

"I'm not taking your sweatshirt," Rukia said knowing she would feel guilty if she took it.

"I'm not even wearing it, so take the damn thing before I put it on you myself," Ichigo said in annoyance. That's usually how he would cover up something nice he was doing.

She took it and put it on. It was way too big, but it was comfortable and most of all, warm. She smiled as she watched her fingers feel the soft fabric.

"Things have been…?" Ichigo signaled where she left off.

"Oh, right. Things have been getting a lot more interesting in Soul Society," she said being vague.

"'_Interesting_,' meaning '_what'_ exactly?" he asked suspiciously.

She stopped walking and he didn't notice this until he finished walking about three more steps. He stopped and saw her standing still. Her hands were in his hoody's pouch and her head was bowed down as she looked at the asphalt.

"Well I guess there's no avoiding it now, huh?" she said more to herself than him.

He took two steps back towards her. "What is it?"

She looked back up at him. 'And it was going so well too…'

Her eyes were shining brightly in the moonlight and Ichigo was taken aback by her stare. It showed raw emotion and that much emotion he had rarely seen from Rukia. It showed her being vulnerable. It somewhat scared him, yet something inside him wanted to protect anything that threatened her hurt her in that state.

Rukia then began to speak. "About two months ago, we've slowly had officers in every squad begin to disappear. We have done major research on the topic, yet nothing has struck us in any way, shape or form, as odd. Then, about a month ago, we made a breakthrough."

Ichigo stared at her expectantly. She took another deep breath. "Some of these missing officers reappeared. We asked what exactly happened to them, but they said they couldn't tell us because they couldn't recall ever really leaving. The Institution of Technology did some tests on them, but everything turned out fine. So everything was still a haze until about a week after they returned."

The suspense was killing him, but to quietly urge her, he said, "What happened?" softly.

"They spiked their reiatsu to trigger us towards the execution cliff. There, all of Soul Society witnesses the death of Captain Yamamoto. He was already on the verge of death when we got there. They must have made the important blows while he was sleeping. There is no way any of us expected it. They weren't even high positioned officers! No one would have ever believed they were capable of something like this assassination! But the one thing they did say before raising their blades to their throats was, 'Our mission was a success, Lord Aizen.'" Rukia ended her explanation expecting a certain reaction from her companion.

Ichigo gave her a look of disbelief and then smirked and shook his head, "No, that's not possible."

Rukia frowned slightly, but stayed silent as she stared seriously back at him.

His smirk fell from his face and was replaced with a scowl. Then his breathing began to get heavy. He closed his eyes and shook his head back and forth urgently, "That's not fucking possible!" he yelled with his hands holding his head.

Rukia didn't have any idea what to say. She just stood there and watched sadly. She knew how he must have felt at the moment. Sure, he was pissed, but the feeling of ending one of the biggest threats was now stripped from him. "Ichigo," she said softly.

He looked back at her with blazing amber, "Don't you get it? I've been living a lie for the past eight years! No, nine years!" he said correcting himself. "I thought I made a difference! I thought I corrected every flaw in the damn spirit world!" He punched the air with a disgusted face, "Damn it!"

Rukia chose to keep her voice soft and calming. "And you did. You gave of us almost a decade of peace, Ichigo. No one can ever take that away from you. And no matter what, you are still the hero of the Arrancar War."

Ichigo took a few deep breathes, "Well a lot of help this information will do me when I'm finally able to fall asleep at night," he said rubbing the back of his neck. He kept his gaze on the asphalt in front of him.

"Ichigo," she said to get his attention. He looked up at her with such a strong gaze that it knocked the air out of her. She cleared her through to get the air circulating again and then spoke with meaning and emotion.

"We need you. You're the strongest shinigami that Soul Society has ever seen. We need your help again in this upcoming war. We've lost many of our own to Aizen's recruiting. I… really don't know how this war will turn out." There was fear in her eyes. He could see it clearly. But he also saw that she was desperate; this triggered his memory and he let his memories control him at this point.

"Will you help us again, Ichigo?" Rukia asked with that same tone that showed she was hiding her fear and desperation.

Ichigo looked to the ground once again. "No," Ichigo said softly.

Rukia was taken aback. "What?" she said with confusion. Maybe she misheard him.

He looked up again. His eyes met hers, only this time, she saw the 'new' Ichigo return. "No," he said confidently.

Rukia was now a loose canon. She wasn't going to hold back and be the respectful Kuchiki she was trained to be. "What do you mean 'no'?!" she exclaimed in disappointment.

"I mean, I'm done with that portion of my life. I gave that up years ago. You know that," he said sternly.

"Ichigo! We have time for you to be stubborn! This war could be the fall of Soul Society! You're putting the future of the living at stake!" she explained and tried to persuade.

"How am _I_ putting they're future at stake? Tell me that," he said in a rebellious tone.

"You were the one that defeated Aizen! Not anyone else. It was you! If anyone can do it, it has to be you," she responded with her voice getting weaker.

He smirked in an arrogant manner and shook his head slightly, "You don't know that."

Her nostrils flared as she stormed up to him and slammed her palms into his chest, causing him to stumble backwards a step or two. "Why are you being such an asshole?!"

"I'm living my life, Rukia! I have a life now! You can't just come back and expect to change everything again!" he yelled back at her.

She gave an arrogant chuckle, "What life? The only thing you have is a job! You've only recently started talking to your friends again and you lock yourself away in your apartment!"

Ichigo smirked and began to walk away for three steps, but then turned around and walked back towards her. "You know what? Don't. You have no right to judge me! Not everyone has the leisurely life of being a Kuchiki or getting an important position like Vice Captain. Not everyone is handed their happiness!"

Rukia glared at him, "That's just it, Ichigo. Happiness is handed to me; it's fake! I hate it! I can admit that! You're using the excuse of living a life that _you_ hate, as well!"

"Don't assume things! You don't know anything about me!" he yelled back at her.

"Oh yeah? I know that no matter what you say, you were hurt just as much as me eight years ago. And just like me, it's still hurting! I know that you try to hide yourself from the world because you don't want to be labeled as anyone's responsibility. I know because that's what I do! We're alike, Ichigo. And arguing about it only supports that fact even more!"

He gave another arrogant laugh and looked off to the side. Then, something hit him. "Why are you pushing this so much?" he asked suspiciously. "You would have given up for the time being by now and tried again later. Instead, you keep going."

Rukia was left speechless. She glared and shook her head, "You know what? I'm done," she said turning around to walk away.

_What am I supposed to do  
With all these blues  
Haunting me, everywhere, no matter what I do  
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow  
I cant let go  
When will this night be over_

Ichigo quickly moved and grabbed her arm to stop her. She looked down at her arm and then turned her head to glare up at him. He spoke sternly. "What was your mission? Why were you sent here, Rukia?"

She felt a clump in her throat, but she swallowed hard discreetly. She turned her head away from him. She couldn't say it to his face. "I was sent back to get your help," she said softly.

_I didn't mean to fall in love with you  
And baby there's a name for what you put me through  
It isn't love, it's robbery  
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me_

Ichigo's nostrils flared. Rage was filling his chest. His hand was still gripping her right upper arm. "So everything you've said; everything about trying to change my _miserable_ life was just a lie? It was some way for you to make peace with me so you could recruit me back? Wow, way to use me, Kuchiki," he said bitterly.

Rukia felt her chest get heavy. She threw off his hand and quickly slapped him across the face with her now free arm. "You don't know _how_ I feel," she said through gritted teeth, while her voice shook.

_Seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by  
Phantom ships, lost at sea  
And one of them is mine  
Raising my glass, I sing a toast to the midnight sky  
I wonder why  
The stars don't seem to guide me_

His head was still turned from the force of the slap. He turned his head back. The bitter rage that she saw before was gone. Instead, he showed vulnerability. He looked hurt and weak. "Then how do you feel?" he asked softly.

"Tired… and regretful. I don't know how many times you want to hear it, but here's one; I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. I didn't want your life to turn out like this. I thought it would be so much better than what you had. All you live for is your career. I wanted you to live for so much more," she said weakly.

_I didn't mean to fall in love with you  
And baby there's a name for what you put me through  
It isn't love, it's robbery  
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me_

"I only did what you told me to do. You told me to forget about shinigami, hollows or Soul Society. You told me to focus on my goal of becoming doctor," Ichigo responded softly.

Rukia's voice got stronger. "I spoke out of anger."

"You spoke the truth," Ichigo added quickly.

There was a silence that took over. This night took a turn for the worse. It felt so right to be in each other's company again. It was like they were in their own little world. But it was too good to be true. The fact is they weren't in their own little world. They were in the middle of two very important ones; the living and the spirit world, and the future of both was at stake. But Ichigo had already made his decision years ago.

_The ghost of you and me  
When will it set me free  
I hear the voices call  
Following footsteps down the hall  
Trying to save what's left of my heart and soul  
_

"I was never meant to be a shinigami, Rukia," he said simply. "It was an accident; something that needed to be done because I was foolish enough to run in front of a hollow without thinking. You took the hit because it's your job to protect. It should have never happened," he finished with his firm voice never wavering.

_Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow  
I can't let go  
When will the night be over_

Rukia looked to the asphalt after he finished and then looked back up into his amber eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by her phone signaling a nearby hollow. Her mouth closed as she frowned at her phone.

_  
I didn't mean to fall in love with you  
And baby there's a name for what you put me through  
It isn't love, it's robbery  
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me _

Ichigo nodded towards the phone, "Even _they_ know we were never supposed to meet. We're always being interrupted. _They_ know we aren't supposed to be standing here together."

Rukia listened to his words as she continued to stare blankly at her phone. There was a good ten seconds of silence until he spoke again.

"It was all just an unfortunate accident," he added one last time.

_I didn't mean to fall in love with you  
And baby there's a name for what you put me through  
It isn't love, it's robbery  
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me_

She then looked up from the phone to stare at him. He saw her violets filled with pools of water. She swallowed so that she could get rid of the clump in her throat. "Then it was the best accident I could have ever hoped for," she said with such strong emotion. Then, she turned around and ran in the direction of the interruption.

They had been given a few hours of normality as they lived in their past selves. But time always catches up and reclaims its rightful place. They just wanted things to be the way they used to be, but time had a way of ripping that away.

_I didn't mean to fall in love with you  
And baby there's a name for what you put me through  
It isn't love, it's robbery  
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

* * *

_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Long chapter, huh? I know. Crazy. And I think it was a decently fast update too. So do your thing. Let me know what you're thinking. Later


	8. Why

**A/N:** I…. found out Secondhand Serenade came out with another album. You don't even know how excited I was when I stumbled upon it. Plus, I'm going to his concert next Sunday so I'm hyper as hell about the subject. So obviously, I'm using one of the songs on the new album, "Why." And I'm not going to lie; there will mostly likely be at least one or two other songs from that album that will be in this story. –shrugs– can't help it. Besides, this song matches this story/chapter perfectly in my opinion. Anyway, moving right along! I didn't really proof read… at all. I'm lazy, what can I say? Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Try me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

* * *

_Chapter 8: Why_

Rukia was standing in front of a two way screen in a private room in Urahara's shop. The clog-wearing man had contacted the raven-haired woman due to the request of her Captain, who had been acting in the late-Yamamoto's place. He had been surprisingly doing a great deal of work as oppose to his previous behavior.

The screen flickered on and Rukia was now looking at her Captain through the screen. She had to admit that he did indeed look incredibly pale. "Are you alright, Captain Ukitake? You look pale." Rukia expressed her concern.

He took a deep breathing, which showed exhaustion. "I'm fine. I've been better, but I'm fine," he reassured.

"You're working too hard, sir. Maybe you should go lie down and rest," Rukia suggested. She usually did most of the paper work for him due to his illness, but by the looks of things, he was going to replace Commander Yamamoto. He couldn't focus on the thirteenth squad _and_ his new duties.

"I wish I could, Kuchiki, but it has gotten hectic. We're still interrogating the officers that had suddenly returned out of the blue. They haven't given a bit of information. But it's obvious they are hiding something. We haven't gotten anywhere," he said with a hopeless voice as he closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead with the tips of his fingers.

Rukia furrowed her eyebrows. She took a moment and then spoke as he continued to rub his stress away. "Excuse me, sir. I don't mean to accuse you of doing your job incorrectly, but maybe you're going about the interrogations all wrong."

He dropped his hand from his head and looked at his Vice Captain with curiosity. "By all means, Kuchiki... I could use all the help I can get," he said motioning her to continue.

"Have you gotten to the point of torture yet?" she asked immediately.

He sighed, "Yes. And we barely got a cry of pain out of them."

Rukia nodded due to confirmation of her prediction. "Even if they are traitors, they were originally shinigami. Meaning they had a life in Soul Society."

Ukitake nodded as he continued to follow her. She continued, "So they must have individuals who they care for. We should investigate who exactly would be the most effective and use it to our advantage for each of the hostages. Threaten the prisoner by saying we'll harm their loved ones. I doubt they're completely heartless after only a month of metamorphosis."

She said the words with such carelessness. The fact of putting civilians into harm's way seemed to not affect her at all. They both knew that it would most likely work, but only when they had actually harmed the civilians. It was a callous move, but sadly, it was necessary.

It was silent as they continued to stare back at each other with the same amount of seriousness. Ukitake finally closed his eyes. He never wanted it to go this far. He never wanted anything to come to this. He then opened his eyes and they showed deep and utter sorrow.

Rukia was slightly taken aback. 'Why is he looking at me like that?' she thought in surprise.

"What happened, Kuchiki? How did it come to this?" he asked softly.

"I don't know, sir. I don't know why they would follow Aizen. I don't know how Aizen is aliv-" she began with a steady voice, but was interrupted.

"I don't mean that," he said eagerly. He paused and then corrected, "How did _you_ get this way? Pushing necessary actions aside, years ago you would have never even considered hurting an innocent just to get the job done."

She opened her mouth and was about to comment, but was interrupted when he continued speaking. "I've watched a young woman, who was so passionate about doing what was right, turn into someone who is… quite frankly, ruthless. I didn't want to get involved in personal matters that seemed to have such an impact on you, for two reasons. One was because you were and still are a very reserved person; and I tried to respect that. Two was because I was foolish to not and attempt to help you anyway."

"Captain Ukitake," she said to try and stop him, but it was to no success.

"Rukia," he said sternly to stop her prevention of the topic. "If you're still hiding the problem from me, I can only imagine how much you are still bothered by the matter. For you to be so affected by it… Is it worth running from after all this time?" he asked finally; leaving them in a stinging silence.

His words seemed to echo through her entire body. 'Is it worth it? I stopped running for a bit and look where that got me,' she argued in her head. She pondered the situation a bit with her head tilted slightly towards the floor. Then, she looked back up to her Captain.

"But Captain, it's not necessarily running when you're being chased away," she remarked bitterly, yet sadly.

He cocked his head to the side and gave a glance of disbelief. "Since when have you been the one to give up? I figured you'd be up for a good game of tag," he ended with a smirk. "You see, the problem is, you've been tagged already. You just don't realize you're _It_. You keep running away when it's your turn to run after it."

She bowed her head down for a moment, took a breath and then looked back up. "What if it's too far away to catch up to now?" she asked with glittering eyes from realization.

"What if it's been waiting for you all this time?" he questioned right back at her.

She looked down at the floor in silence. He continued to watch her until he spoke with a knowing stare. "So Kuchiki, how's that mission coming?"

She chuckled as her stare stayed on the floor. A tear trailed down her cheek and she raised her hand to wipe it away. She sniffled and looked up at the screen again. She gave a delicate smile, "To be honest, not very good, Captain." She gave another chuckle and sniffled again. "Maybe it's best if you send someone else to take over. I believe he's had enough to hear what I have to say about the subject. If you want him recruited quickly, perhaps another route is best," she suggested wiping the corners of her eyes to collect herself again.

He smiled softly at her still. "No, I don't think there's need for that. If he won't listen to you, he won't listen to anyone. But the fact remains that he will listen to you. I bet you he already has heard every word you've said. Just stay close and soon something will trigger it off in that vibrant head of his."

She furrowed her eyebrows and spoke softly, "How can you be so sure, sir?"

He spoke honestly, "I can't be, but you can. And you _are_. Otherwise, would have returned a long time ago."

Everything he said to her was true and she knew it. At that moment she was questioning why she hadn't gone to her caring Captain in the first place. She smiled sweetly at a man she still looked up to in many ways. "Thank you," she said with meaning.

"It was my pleasure," he said bowing his head slightly with a smile. "I must go and stress over this interrogation matter. Sadly, I believe it must come to your suggestion." He paused, "I trust you know what to do," he said speaking of her mission.

"Yes. I wish you luck, Captain," she said with a bow. He gave a nod to her, "As I to you," he said before the screen went black.

Rukia was left standing there in another stinging silence. She kept her gaze down towards her feet. She spoke out loud softly to herself. "But how am I supposed to _not_ give up on something that's a complete accident," she said it with mockery of his blunt statement.

"Nothing is an accident, Miss Kuchiki," a voice was heard behind her. She turned quickly and saw Urahara leaning against the door with a smirk; his eyes barely visible due to his hat. "Mere coincidences don't exist. It's what many use as an excuse to avoid the truth."

"You're so positive…" Rukia commented.

"Should I not be?" he questioned in amusement. "I have more than enough facts to supply you with proof."

She stared at him expectantly and then he finally backed up his statement. "Out of the many humans in the world, you picked the one that ends up having enough strength to break through Soul Society and rescue you; you picked the one that ends up ending the War between Soul Society and the Bounto and the War between Soul Society and the Arrancar; you picked the one that ends up resembling an ex-Vice Captain of one of the Thirteen Guard Squads; and lastly, you picked a boy that you ended up having a connection with, in which no else could ever really understand. Now tell me, Miss Kuchiki, do you truly believe an accident was the cause for so many significant results?"

Rukia looked at him sensitively. "You're right. But what's the point if only one of us understands that?"

Urahara flung his fan open and covered his face as he responded, "One is all you need. One's enough to get the point across. It just depends on whether or not that particular one is willing to do it," he said as he slowly slipped out of the doorway, leaving a processing Rukia.

She smiled to herself after a moment. She had received more advice about the subject in less than fifteen minutes than in the past eight years. And to be honest, it felt good. The only problem left was changing Ichigo's mind; about fighting again, but also, about their entire relationship being an accident. That was hurting her the most at the moment. She felt like he was throwing her away; no longer needing her.

* * *

"Listen. I don't want to hear it!" Ichigo said as he pushed his friend aside and continued walking throughout his childhood house. He was on his break and Uryuu had decided to make a nice little visit.

The Karakura gang had been informed of the current situation earlier that day by Rukia. This included Uryuu, Chad, Orihime, and Tatsuki. Tatsuki had been acknowledged of her abilities shortly before the Arrancar War ended. They all agreed to lend them their skills once again. They didn't even hesitate to think about their decisions; they jumped at the request.

Along with their coming out of retirement came an explanation of who exactly wasn't eager to suit up again. When this was heard, Uryuu made a plan to exchange words with the one who refused about the matter. He had to persuade him to come with them to Soul Society that night in order to formally announce their aid.

Ichigo walked to the fridge and began opening it until Ishida pushed it shut and stood in front of it.

"I don't understand you at all, Kurosaki. You said that you've been living a lie, so why wouldn't you want to make up for it? Why don't you want to kick Aizen to the curb one more time?" he waited and watched his orange haired friend avoid eye contact in annoyance. Ishida continued, "Why would you not use the strength you were given?"

He leaned more towards Ichigo's gaze and saw the corner of his amber eyes stare at him. Ishida spoke quietly but meaningfully. "Why would you back down from something that only you could possibly do?"

Ichigo exhaled a great amount of air through his nostrils, which was clearly heard, but Ishida ignored it. "You have the power to save millions of lives; present and future. Why? Better yet, while we're on the question of 'why,' why are you like this? What is it exactly that happened to you eight years ago?"

Ichigo finally turned his head fully to his friend. He looked at him with complete seriousness. "Do you really want to know? Do you really want to know _everything_? Why I won't do it? Why I'm so fucked up?" Ichigo said bitterly.

Ishida just stared back at him, not needing to answer him. Ichigo just kept his eyes connected with his friend's. Then, he answered softly but sternly, "So do I." He forgot about his hunger and walked away from the kitchen. He walked his way back into the clinic where he saw Karin sitting at the receptionist's desk. "I'm going out. I'll be back in a bit," he said without looking at her and going straight for the door.

Ishida had followed him, but stopped when he saw the door slam shut. He looked over at Karin sadly. She gave him a sad smile. "I don't know what that was all about, but don't give up on him. He's finally started talking to you guys again and I don't want him to lock himself away for another decade. Whether he shows it or not, he needs all the help you can offer."

Ishida gave a single nod and smiled in appreciating. Then, he exited.

* * *

He was walking, but not really realizing where he was going exactly. They couldn't leave him alone about the subject and he found that hard to believe after them not bothering for the past eight years; although at the beginning of that time period there had been a countless number of phone calls and doorbells that were never answered.

He found himself standing at an all too familiar place in town. He rarely came out to this spot. It held a too extreme memory. But now he stood looking out at the very spot were he sat with his mother when she died.

He took a long, deep breath as the wind blew through his spiky locks. "What do I do, Mom?" he asked softly as the wind carried his message.

"You know she'd probably just say something like, "What ever way you choose, honey, I'll support it. I know you'll make the right one no matter what."

Ichigo turned his head slightly to the right and saw his father looking out at the same spot. The older of the two spoke again, "She was never good at helping people decide anyway," he said with a smirk and a chuckle.

Ichigo took a deep breath, "Dad," he led into the conversation slowly. "What kept you by your decision to quit being a shinigami? They must have came back to you at one point and asked you to come back."

Isshin crossed his arms over his chest and kept a smile on his face. "They did come for me when you were about six," he responded, following with a pause. "And I told Byakuya straight out that I wasn't going to let my children grow up without a father."

Ichigo had his hands in his pants' pockets. He looked over at his old man quickly. "Byakuya? As in Byakuya Kuchiki?" he asked curiously.

Isshin chuckled. "Yes, as in Rukia Kuchiki's brother-in-law."

Ichigo felt his chest pound harder from the mention of her name and his face fell into a scowl. Isshin noticed this, but chose to ignore it. "Byakuya was my Vice Captain, so I believe I can say I know the man very well, whether he would like to admit it or not."

Ichigo let out a disgusted chuckle and mumbled in response, "No wonder he hates me so much."

Isshin swung and punched his son in his left shoulder, causing a loud yell from the younger man. He held his shoulder and looked at his father with the same 'Are you insane?!' look that he had been giving him all his life.

"He hates you because you have a terrible attitude and you're a threat," Isshin said, staring straight in front of him as if he hadn't just broken his son's shoulder.

"Damn straight, I'm a threat! I could kill him with one-" Ichigo began a rant until his father interjected.

"Don't be an idiot. Byakuya Kuchiki would never think of anyone as that kind of threat. You're threatening something much more than his life," he said with his eyes piercing into his son's.

Ichigo stared at him in confusion as his father turned to look back in front of him. "Then, your mother died three years later. She was killed by a hollow, one that I had actually been chasing for god knows how long when I was still with Soul Society. That's when I picked up my zanpaktou again. I was going to find and kill that soon of a bitch no matter what," he said with such passion. He then smirked and looked at Ichigo from the corner of his eye. "Seemed as though you almost did the job for me at one point."

Ichigo frowned and looked towards the ground. "No," he said shaking his head, "I couldn't finish him," he finished clenching his fists in his pockets.

Isshin looked straight ahead again, "But I did."

Ichigo shot his head up and looked at his father. He was surprised, but then he felt his chest lose some weight for once. He let a sad smile show on his face as he looked straight ahead of him as well.

"I guess the question you have to ask yourself is why you left it behind you in the first place. Then, when you figure that out, ask yourself why you would go back," his father said laying it out right in front of him.

"Well I know why I would go back," Ichigo said with confidence. "I would fight and kill that bastard Aizen for sure this time."

Isshin turned completely and stood staring at his son. "Anyone could take the obvious reasons and use them as their excuse. But to think about the real reasons; the ones that you know with all your heart will determine your final decision; that shows true understanding; that shows acceptance. And that is something people either never accomplish or something they always try to avoid."

There was a moment of silence between the two as Ichigo soaked in every word. His father spoke once again, "Everyone avoids the truth. They're afraid that it will only give them a negative effect. But when they finally accept it and it feels like the most positive outcome in the world, you'll never let it go." He gave him a slap on the back causing Ichigo to grimace slightly, but he didn't complain.

The elder Kurosaki paused in his stride as he stood beside his son. They both looked ahead; not looking at the other. He placed his hand on Ichigo's shoulder and spoke sincerely. "What ever way you choose, I'll support it. I know you'll make the right one, no matter what," he said before slapping Ichigo's back firmly.

Ichigo grimaced from the impact, but kept his mouth shut. He didn't turn around, but instead, he smiled at his father's words. Then, the smile fell and he looked up at the sky, closing his eyes.

The elder Kurosaki looked back at his son and knew exactly which path his son would pick. And he knew that he would avoid the truth for as long as possible.

'I stopped because I failed at protecting too many times. I stopped because she let me believe everything was never supposed to be that way. I stopped… because she told me to,' he thought, answering his father's first question.

'I could protect the world one more time if I went back. I could find that happiness of having a purpose again. I could…' he stopped his thought and opened his eyes. He frowned and dropped his head towards the ground. He looked at his watch and began to make it back for his next appointment.

* * *

"He's not coming," Renji said bluntly as they stood in Urahara's underground training area. They were about to go through a gate to Soul Society.

Rukia bowed her head towards the ground. She had failed her mission and was willing to continue to pursue the objective, but felt like she might not have had another chance.

"Let's go," Renji said leading the five through the gate.

* * *

All of Soul Society stood in a massive crowd as the announcement of the return of their human heroes occurred. Captain Ukitake, being the apparent new Captain Commander, was beginning the introduction as Rukia stood slightly off to the side of her Captain.

"We did not tell you of our recent mission due to the possible denial of our request, but it seems Vice Captain Kuchiki was successful. Today, I announce the revival of the aid of our human accomplices. Please allow me to introduce them. Uryuu Ishida," he said causing a roar through the crowd as Ishida stepped forward.

"Orihime Inoue," Ukitake added with Orihime following her husbands lead.

"Yasutora Sado, also known as Chad," Ukitake said, allowing him to step forward.

"And lastly, Tatsuki Arisawa." The crowd was now roaring, yet they seemed to be confused. There was still one in particular that was missing.

"They will be helping us in ending what we thought had ended years ago. There will be no mistake this time," Ukitake said breaking the applause. "We will gather our strength once agai-" but his speech was interrupted by another roar of applause; a much louder roar.

The six in front of the crowd were confused, but as they looked carefully, they saw the crowd begin to part; revealing an unexpected guest, but their was no doubt of who it was due to his trademark hair.

_The buttons on my phone are worn thin  
I don't think that I knew the chaos I was getting in.  
But I've broken all my promises to you  
I've broken all my promises to you._

His face was determined as he continued to walk towards his awaiting friends. As he got closer, he saw their appreciated faces. They smiled at him and all he could give back was a nod. Then, his amber eyes met a pair of surprised violets. He continued to walk towards them, but he couldn't pry his gaze off of her.

_Why do you do this to me?  
Why do you do this so easily?  
You make it hard to smile because  
You make it hard to breathe  
Why do you do this to me?_

She wanted to smile so badly at his approaching form, but she couldn't. No matter how happy she was that he didn't turn his back on the one's that needed his help more than ever, she was still miserable. He wasn't here for her sake. He wasn't here because she asked him to. And that made it hard for her to feel the appreciation she had.

He finally made it to them and he took the vacant space left for him to stand, which was between Ishida and Rukia. She stared at him as he kept his gaze focused in front of him.

Ukitake turned and mouthed the words 'Thank you,' towards Ichigo, in which he only replied with a stern nod.

_A phrasing that's a single tear,  
Is harder than I ever feared  
And you were left feeling so alone.  
Because __**these days**__ aren't easy  
Like they have been once before  
__**These days**__ aren't easy anymore._

Ukitake began to speak again, "Now we have a complete reunion. And I can honestly say that we will be able to gather our strength as one and be victorious once again…"

Rukia was obviously ignoring her Captain's speech as she continued to look at Ichigo. He was also ignoring the speech, but he wasn't staring at what he was thinking about at the moment.

_Why do you do this to me?  
Why do you do this so easily?  
You make it hard to smile because  
You make it hard to breathe  
Why do you do this to me?  
To me, to me, to me._

After a good thirty seconds, Ichigo finally turned his head and stared back at Rukia. She didn't even flinch from surprise, or try to hide the fact she was staring at him. Instead, her stare got harder as she searched his eyes for reasons.

He spoke finally, "I'm not doing this for you."

She didn't seem surprised, but instead she replied, "I never asked you to do it for me." She said it sternly and then looked back towards the crowd.

This time, Ichigo was left to stare at her. She was so different. She was colder and the more he thought about it, the more she portrayed the Kuchiki characteristics. He couldn't help but feel a weight form on his chest.

_I should have known this wasn't real  
And fought it off and fought to feel  
What matters most? Everything  
That you feel while listening to every word that I sing.  
I promise you I will bring you home  
I will bring you home._

She spoke again without turning to look at him, "So what's your excuse for being here then?"

Those words hit him harder than he would have ever thought they would before that day. _His excuse_; what was it? What truth was he avoiding? His hard demeanor died quickly as he looked at her sadly. She then turned the smallest amount to look at him through the corner of her eye. His eyes weren't looking at her, but the ground behind her.

_Why do you do this to me?  
Why do you do this so easily?  
You make it hard to smile because  
You make it hard to breathe  
Why do you do this to me?_

His thoughts had taken over as she could see his facial expression become weak. She turned her head more to get a better look at him. Then, his eyes met hers again, but this time they seemed tired and less intense. "I'm going to make sure I kill that bastard this time," he said in such a soft tone that she felt her skin tingle.

_  
Why do you do this to me?  
Why do you do this so easily?  
You make it hard to smile because  
You make it hard to breathe  
Why do you do this to me?  
To me, to me, to me_

He looked back in front of him, leaving her speechless from his peculiar response. Her eyes melted as she stared at him with an affection she would later wonder the origin of. 'It wasn't an accident. And I'm willing to do what I have to in order to convince you otherwise,' she finally admitted as she stared at his profile.

'My real reason, I'm not sure of just yet,' he thought. 'But it might involve this feeling that I've missed for the longest time; this feeling of standing next to my comrades as I get ready to protect; this feeling of standing next to her.'

* * *

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

This chapter was full of pep talks! Wow, it was just explosive with them. Ukitake, Urahara, Ishida, Isshin. Damn. Haha, well they needed it after getting nothing for eight years. Alright so let me know what you think. Later


	9. All of Yours

**A/N:** It took a little longer than I expected, but that I can blame on being sick for this entire week. Yeah, missed so many classes. I'm still a mess actually, but I have enough energy to type on the computer, so yeah. But because it took awhile, here's a crazy long chapter! It's named after the song, "All of Yours," by Making April. Absolutely no proof reading done. Forgive and forget please! Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Nope.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

* * *

_Chapter 9: All Of Yours_

"Kuchiki," Ukitake said authoritatively, "I need you to deliver instructions to Kurosaki."

His name left a certain tingling feeling across her skin and she seemed confused by this. She shook it off unnoticed as she grabbed another paper off a stack on her work desk. She was in the middle of doing a large amount of paperwork and was gladly welcoming any interruptions; although this one she might have listed under the exceptions.

She turned to her commanding officer. "I'm sorry, sir, but can't you ask Kiyone or Sentaro? I'm trying to catch up on paperwork that I haven't been able to do since I got back."

He gave a reluctant look, "You see, I would have originally done that, but they went off somewhere arguing about who could find a better blanket when I said I was getting chilly." The two sat in silence for a moment until he spoke again. "Plus, you could use a break. Come on," he pulled on her arm so that she would stand up. "Go get some air."

He began to usher Rukia towards the door, but she quickly spoke urgently, "Wait! Captain, you haven't even told me the orders yet!"

He stopped and chuckled, "Oh, right." He stood for a moment as he thought and then looked at her seriously. "Tell him to accompany you to the holding cells. There you will receive any updates on our current situation. You will report this back to me and give Kurosaki further instructions of getting more information out of our guests."

Rukia furrowed her eyesbrows, "How do you expect him to do that? From what I've gathered, he hasn't been a shinigami in almost a decade. I don't think he's comfortable enough to do this task. Why not let me-"

"No," Ukitake cut in urgently. He coughed to clear his throat. "I mean, no," he said more gently.

"Sir, I don't understan-"

"Nor do you have to. Just know that I believe it would be more appropriate if Kurosaki took this assignment. Put some faith in him. Besides, he has the ability to do something no one in Soul Society can do; he has a whole other side to him," he suggested with a glint in his eye.

Rukia sighed, "Yes, sir," she said beginning to walk out of the door.

"Rukia," he said putting his hand on her shoulder to stop her. She turned her head back to look lazily. "Don't treat this like a mission," he said in a sensitive tone.

She searched his eyes and knew he was trying to do her a favor, but she honestly didn't know if she wanted it. She frowned sadly, "I don't know any other way to treat it," she said pulling away; leaving the man feeling pity as he watched her retreating back.

* * *

They had provided the humans with their own quarters, which were located within the Sixth Squad's realm. And Ichigo Kurosaki was not the least bit comfortable being placed in an area being run by none other than Byakuya Kuchiki and Renji Abarai.

It's not like he was afraid of them. It's just that they were always a bit too eager to jump when it came to a certain raven haired female. And quite frankly, he didn't have the slightest interest in that subject.

"Why are you here, Kurosaki?" questioned the Quincy at the door with his recently made wife by his side.

Ichigo looked up from the sound of a familiar voice. He was sitting in his room with Zangetsu on his lap. He hadn't held his zanpaktou in eight years and it felt so strange to finally do so again.

"What kind of question is that?" Ichigo answered in annoyance.

Orihime actually answered this response, surprisingly. "It's actually an appropriate one, Ichigo."

He had trouble yelling back at Orihime; he always did. So instead, he exhaled through his nose and chose to answer it correctly this time. "I'm here because I was asked, 'Why would I not use the strength I was given? Why would I back down from something that only I could possibly do?' Believe it or not, I actually listen to you every once in awhile," Ichigo said looking straight at Ishida, who was hiding a satisfied smile.

"Well how would I know? You're always giving off that idiotic look; making me think you're not understanding anything coming out of my mouth," Ishida said with a smirk.

Ichigo showed amusement in his eyes, "Well maybe that's because everything coming out of your mouth is too gay for me to comprehend."

"Well maybe it's only coming out gay because that's what you are secretly. When was the last time you were with a girl, Kurosaki?"

"Oh wouldn't you want to know, needlepoint boy?"

"Too long ago to remember, pumpkin-head?"

"Nah, I just don't want to break your poor little heart by telling you I'm into chicks."

"Am I interrupting something?" a voice came from beside Orihime, who was totally lost in the conversation.

The three turned to look and saw that Rukia was standing there a little baffled from the last few comments she had heard. 'Men are so immature sometimes,' was the only explanation she could think of.

"Um, not at all," Ishida said with a cheerful smile to cover up his previous actions.

"Rukia!" Orihime let out cheerfully as she enveloped her into a hug. Rukia was startled but gave a hug back.

Ichigo sat in his same position completely drained of his amusement from mere seconds before. His head moved back to Zangetsu, which still sat on his lap. She finally turned to him and gave a serious look. "I have orders for you," she said sternly.

He moved his fingertips along his blade; not looking up at who was addressing him. "I don't want them," he said without hesitation.

She gave a look of disbelief. "What do you mean you don't want them?"

Uryuu and Orihime took this moment as their time to leave. Orihime gave an apologetic smile to Rukia as she past by her and Ishida placed his hand on her shoulder for a second before pulling away.

"I won't take any orders from you," he said simply, still moving his fingertips along the blade.

She walked a few steps closer and let her attitude get the best of her, "Ichigo, stop being such a damn child. You're not a teenager anymore. That excuse won't work for you."

He looked up quickly at her with glaring eyes. He pushed his zanpaktou off his lap and then stood up quickly so he could stand only inches away. "Don't tell me how to act," he said strongly. "You have no right to say _anything_," he said with as much strength as his proceeding comment.

Rukia let out a chuckle of disgust. "You know what? You should really stop making assumptions. You don't know anything."

"Oh yeah? What don't I know?" he asked angrily.

She opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it and shook her head. She turned and walked a step before turning back around to speak to him, "I don't need this. I really don't. I'm just trying to do my job right now and you're not cooperating. I'll just have to tell Captain Ukitake you couldn't take the assignment because you were to busy trying to find that stick up your ass," she said roughly before marching out of the room.

Ichigo clenched his fists with incredible strength. He let out an infuriated growl as he slammed one of his fists against the wall. He kept his fist touching the wall as his head was bowed down with his eyes closed. He continued to breathe in heavily for a few seconds before he began to shake his head, "Damn it!"

He then began to jog out of the room and through the Sixth Squad territory. He saw Renji coming in the distance, who had passed the riled up Thirteenth Squad Vice Captain on her way out. As Ichigo approached he heard him say, "Kurosaki," in a threatening tone, but simply shook his head once and replied, "Not now, Abarai," as he continued to jog past him.

He finally made it out of the Sixth Squad's realm, but he saw her about thirty feet away. He ran up and silently got in pace with her.

She was surprised to see him appear beside her, but she chose to keep her gaze in front of her as she continued to walk steadily.

He chose not to look directly at her as well. "I'm not doing this for you," he said softly.

She closed her eyes for a second too long as she let his words sting her once again, but then she opened them. "I never asked you to do it for me," she replied with what seemed to be ease. "These are Captain Ukitake's orders. Not mine."

"I get that now," he said before they were taken over with silence. They continued to walk for a few good minutes until he decided he had to speak. "Where the hell are we going?"

Rukia sighed and rolled her eyes in annoyance. He had a way to always make a simple question into something so complicated by either taking too long to ask it or by phrasing it in the _most elegant_ ways possible. "We're going to where the prisoners are being held. There we will see how much further the interrogators have gotten. I will then take that information to my Captain and you will take over the interrogation," she said as if it was nothing.

He stopped in his tracks, "Woa, woa, woa," he began, holding his hands up. She turned slightly back at him as he expressed a new reaction. "I am _not_ taking over any interrogation. I don't do that torture shit," he said in defiance.

She furrowed her eyebrows at him. "I don't care what you or what you don't do. We need you to do this so that we can prevent yet another assassination. This isn't up for consideration. You're going to do it," she said harshly.

Ichigo began to raise his voice, "These are people who disappeared and then came back, right?" he asked, but didn't wait for a confirmation. "So what makes you think that all of them are traitors? What if they got free and made it back here? Now after being taken, they finally make it back home and you're going to torture them?!" he asked in disbelief. "That's not right."

"The odds of them having escaped are less than two percent. Aizen is not an idiot. I'm pretty sure you know that," Rukia responded.

"Alright, fine. Maybe they didn't escape. But how the hell can you go through with seeing your comrades; seeing your _friends_ get tortured like that?! It's insane!" he exclaimed.

Rukia couldn't take it anymore. It was surprisingly too civil for her. She walked close to him and grabbed the thin shinigami cloth on his chest; catching him by surprise. "We don't have time for this! We can't sit around and wait for the next surprise Aizen has hidden under his sleeve! We can't afford another mishap, Ichigo! When it comes down to it, it's either a select few or all of us! And you're _so_ wrong if you think I'm going to save a few over everyone else!"

Her eyes were blazing. The tranquil violets that he was so used to were over taken by a reddish purple. He was taken aback. Her words were anything but what he expected to ever come out of her mouth. His voice was so much weaker compared to hers now, "So if those few were your closest friends, you wouldn't even consider it?"

"I would do what was necessary," she said bitterly without a second thought or so much of a flinch.

He found it hard to breathe at that moment. It was as if her cold demeanor was freezing the very air entering his lungs. A shiver went down his spine as he took in a Rukia he had failed to see for the past few weeks; a Rukia he honestly felt was a stranger to him.

Rukia realized exactly what she was doing. She looked down and saw her hand held the thin fabric in her fist ever so tightly. She took a deep breath and realized how out of control she had gotten. She looked back up into his eyes. His ambers were searching hers delicately as he tried to find the origin of this transformation; an origin she wasn't even sure about. But what she was sure about was the look in his eyes and that it scared the hell out of her.

She let go of his shirt quickly, turned and walked three steps. Rukia let her back face him as she tried to think about how this situation led to that. She then spoke again, "It's not like it matters anyway. They want you to use your hollow to do the interrogation," she said to cover up any sign of weakness she may have let show. She refused to let herself show regret; she refused to let herself be pitied.

Ichigo didn't really know how to respond at the moment. A moment ago he saw fear in her apologetic eyes, but now she was as icy as her before.

He thought about it for a minute. She did make a point, but it still was so wrong. And the way she said it… He didn't want to hurt anyone that he wasn't sure was an enemy. That was never his style. But maybe he could just talk to them without letting it get that far.

"I'll do it," Ichigo said which surprised her. She turned back around to face him with herself recollected. "But I'm not going to let it get that far, where I have to rely on _him_," he said confidently.

Rukia silently turned away and began to walk in the direction again as Ichigo followed.

* * *

Captain Mayuri welcomed the two as they entered the building. "Ah! So, you've finally come to see what I've gotten out of the dirty little imposters!" he said joyfully.

Rukia chose to ignore how much he seemed to enjoy it and continued. "What information have you received?"

"Nothing too notable, except for a particular thing one cretin let out," he said in an eerie tone.

Rukia raised an eyebrow, "And that is…?"

"Instead of our usual 'We know nothing' response," he said before motioning to Nemu to play a recording.

"_No matter what you do to me, no matter how many questions you ask; how many threats you make; or how much pain you cause me, I won't tell you one thing! I just wish I could see the expression on your face when you see it all unravel,"_ a man's voice said bitterly and cockily.

"Quite the speech, no?" the Captain asked his two guests.

"May I take this to Captain Ukitake?" Rukia asked in a confident tone.

"Ah yes. Go ahead. I've made dozens of copies already anyways," he said turning away, not caring about the subject.

Nemu handed the tape to Rukia before the raven haired woman spoke again. "Is that everything?"

The Captain sighed, "So far, yes. I haven't gotten the pathetic fool to break yet," he said in frustration.

"Then it is Kurosaki's turn to interrogate the prisoner according to Captain Ukitake," she said in her official business tone.

The Captain let out a sigh. He hated the fact of passing up an important subject of his, but orders were orders. He waved a hand towards the door, "Fine, fine. Leave me to my research then."

Rukia nodded as Ichigo followed silently through the door. When they stepped through, they froze. The man they saw; the man that was on the audiotape was someone they didn't expect. Not only was he an officer, but he was Squad Three's Vice Captain, and recently promoted Captain; Izuru Kira.

He was tied in a chair in the middle of the room with his head bowed to his chest. He didn't notice them yet.

"I… didn't realize how big this was," Ichigo whispered in shock.

"Neither did I," she surprisingly agreed. She closed her eyes and bent her head down towards the ground. It took all she had to stop herself from getting too emotional. If he was indeed involved, then that meant her other friends were as well.

Ichigo watched Rukia move silently as she tried to gather up her strength. She knew something else and that seemed to have jest been confirmed, which bothered her even more. "Rukia," he said softly.

His voice was like a sweet melody moving swiftly through her ear. It surprisingly put her at ease at the moment she heard him. He hadn't spoken that genuinely to her since before that moment he started to believe she was using him.

She picked her head back up and looked at him. He was trying to understand so hard and were they in a different situation and at a different time he would have spoken the words, "What's wrong," but they weren't on good terms, so these words never left his lips.

For the first time that day, her hard, cold face and attitude were gone. She spoke gently, "Find out what he knows," she looked down for a moment to break eye contact. Then she looked back up, "I know you can do it," she said as she brushed by him, placing a hand ever so gently on his bicep before going back through the door.

He was taken aback by her soft contact. His skin tingled from her touch and he slowly brushed his fingers along the fabric where her hand was. He frowned at his behavior, but then looked at the door she had left through. No matter how much of a grudge he had, it still didn't affect everything underneath his rough exterior. He exhaled and then looked back at the prisoner.

"Ichigo Kurosaki," he said without lifting his head. "I never thought I'd see _you_ again," he said finally looking at him. His face didn't show fear or sadness, but instead it showed the smallest bit of amusement.

Ichigo walked forward, "Well we all think a lot of things, but most of it is never true."

"This is true," Izuru replied with a small smirk.

Ichigo stared into his eyes for a moment and tilted his head to the side. "You know why I'm here," he said firmly.

"What makes you so sure? You could be here letting me free, for all I know. I mean, Soul Society must have done something to piss you off to stop you from being a shinigami for all those years," he replied easily.

"That had nothing to do with Soul Society. And besides, nothing could ever make me want to help Aizen. So you're really fucking messed up if you're considering that," Ichigo said standing about five feet in front of him.

"Then what is it that kept you away for all those years?" he asked with a cocky smirk still on his face.

"That's none of your damn business and hey! Stop interrogating me! Did you forget who's the one tied up right now?" Ichigo questioned in incredulity.

Izuru kept his smirk on his face as he stared silently at Ichigo. The orange headed man began to talk again. "You're an idiot, you know that?" he said interrupting the silence.

"Excuse me?" the blonde man replied in confusion.

"I said you're an idiot," Ichigo repeated. "You gave away that you knew something without a fight. I mean, you could have kept saying you knew jack shit but you had to give up some suspicion. And for that, I think you're an idiot," he reasoned.

Izuru glared, "Don't judge me. You don't know what's planned. You know nothing."

Ichigo walked closer and bent down so that his face was in front of his. "But soon… I'll know a hell of a lot more."

Izuru smirked at Ichigo's confidence. "You can't even figure her out. How do you expect to figure me out?"

Ichigo let his eyes reveal confusion, allowing the blonde to explain. "Kuchiki's still hiding a hell of a lot from everyone, isn't she? Haven't you started to notice it? Hasn't her true colors shown? She's been one hell of an ice cold bitch to everyone recently, as if she was a true Kuchiki. You're just too clueless to understand any of it. Anyone else sees her façade of being a complete mess and there's just the question of 'why'. And from what I just saw take place at the door, I think I may have a hunch."

"Stay out of that. That's none of your fucking business," Ichigo said as his teeth began to grit as he began to get confused with the subject, but refused to show it.

"Hm, that's true," Izuru agreed without protest. "But if you don't know anything, how can you trust her?"

"I don't trust her," Ichigo said coldly.

"Oh really?" he asked in an amused tone. "Then why are you so protective of the subject?"

"I'm not! It's just completely off topic!" Ichigo began to get furious.

"Is it? But maybe I'm opening your eyes to other individuals that you only believe are your allies. Maybe Miss Kuchiki is gaining your trust, only to stab in you in the back," he said in a suggestive manner.

"She wouldn't do that," Ichigo said objectively.

"How sure are you? She could be the complete opposite of what you think. In fact, I know she is," Izuru said with a smirk. "She's always been a little whore who uses people to get what she wants. I mean she grew up in filth, got adopted by the noblest family, is a seated officer, and it's a matter of time before she becomes Captain. How many do you think she's _persuaded_ to get what she wants? Renji? Ukitake? Bya-"

And before he could usher out another syllable, Ichigo let his knuckles bust into his nose before he had a chance to see it coming.

Ichigo kept his fist clenched to his side as he spoke quietly, but fiercely. "Shut your fucking mouth," he said slowly. "If I hear anything come out of your mouth, that isn't an answer to what I want to hear, I _will_ hurt you."

Izuru looked back up at him with a smile as his nose dripped blood. "Hell, I think every male officer has had a go at her."

Ichigo didn't throw another punch, but instead he calmly said, "I warned you." And then, he raised his right hand to his face and throughout the building a sick, maniacal laugh was heard…

* * *

She had to think. She delivered the audiotape to her Captain, but she needed to be alone and to be in a peaceful place where she could get away from all the misery around her. She sat on a hill away from all the hectic life in Seireitei or Rukongai. She told herself she was going to let him believe it was all a mistake or that she would try to be friends again only to bring him back. He made it seem like she doesn't care about him at all, which is a lie. He means a lot to her and she was going to prove that to him somehow.

"So how long have you been in love with him?" Rangiku said before sitting down next to Rukia in the grass. The raven haired woman didn't have the slightest clue the Tenth Squad's Vice Captain had begun to approach her, but when the strawberry blonde finally spoke, the flower Rukia was twirling in her fingers was thrown over her head and out of reach due to fright.

"_Excuse me_?" Rukia coughed out. Not only was she startled from being crept up on, but the question was nonsensical. Her eyes were wide and she couldn't believe the words that were flowing into her ears. She figured her mind must have processed them wrong; it had to have.

Rangiku smirked as she began to get more comfortable. She laid down next to her petit companion with her arms folded behind her head and one leg crossed over the other. "I _said_, 'So how long have you been in love with him?'"

Rukia raised an eyebrow now as shock was depleting. "How long have I been in love with who?"

Rangiku laughed, "This isn't a knock-knock joke, Rukia. Just answer the question."

Rukia looked at her blankly and then after a few seconds of silence and staring, she responded with, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Rangiku looked at her with complete confusion; causing her to sit up from her lying down position. She then tilted her head to the side, "I mean, I know you're stubborn and all, but no one can be _that_ stubborn," she paused as she continued to analyze her. "You really don't know, do you?"

The raven haired woman opted to pass straight over a spoken answer and just let her clueless expression speak for itself.

Rangiku then lied back down as she went back to her original position, only this time she added closing her eyes. "Well after all these years, you're still unaware," she let out a surprised chuckle. "It's a shame really."

"What in the hell are you talking about, Rangiku?" Rukia said in an annoyed manner.

The knowing woman sighed and then sat back up. She stared into her eyes with all seriousness. "Tell me, Rukia. Why is it that you waited as long as possible before carrying out your mission?"

Rukia broke the eye contact and set her gaze upon the grass that was being tossed and turned in the wind. "I wasn't able to reach him," she said simply, yet softly. It wasn't completely false. In a manner of speaking, she really couldn't reach him. He was too distant; no matter how near he literally was, he was never close enough.

"Somehow I doubt that. It's been well known that he's a doctor. Besides, if push came to shove, you could've booked an appointment. Now," she transitioned, "Why did you hesitate?" she asked again.

Rukia looked back up at Rangiku. "I didn't _hesitate_. I had it _completely_ planned out," she said while thinking, 'Well, not _completely_.'

The questioner squinted in suspicious. "Oh yeah? Then inform me of this plan of yours," she ordered casually.

Rukia was getting agitated by the second, but she continued to try and hide it as she chose to continue this torture. "I was going to make up for lost time, that's all," she explained, which again, was not completely false.

Rangiku raised an eyebrow at her reasoning, "So while the world could be in dire jeopardy, you wanted to hang out?" she said in a disbelieving tone.

Rukia gave her an unbelievable look, "No, I did not want to _hang out_," she corrected in obvious irritation.

The strawberry blonde smirked as a sparkle grew in her eyes, "Oh so you wanted to _make out_… I completely understand now. I always have to push time aside for that sort of thing," she said giving Rukia a playful nudge with her elbow.

Rukia delivered an incredulous look towards her oblivious companion. She then spoke defensively, "That's not what I meant when I said I was going to make out**- **_**make up**_**-**_** make up**_ for lost time," she corrected herself seeing how Rangiku's words were invading her mind too much.

Rangiku kept her eyebrow raised, "Then what did you mean?"

"I had to fix things," Rukia said hastily after being so annoyed from Rangiku's misunderstanding. Then, the raven haired woman caught what she had just said. That was the first thing she ever let out of her mouth dealing with the subject. And if she could take it back, she would.

Silence filled the air due to Rukia feeling self conscious now and Rangiku being taken aback. Rukia had returned about eight years ago saying how Ichigo had decided to live a normal life, which resulted in the retiring of his shinigami duties. There had been a brief explanation of how he wanted to focus on living his life while he still had the chance. And ever since that explanation, everyone saw Rukia as a different person. Everyone just assumed that the news of Ichigo hit her harder than she expected. But from what Rukia had just said, everything was different; every view changed.

Rangiku saw Rukia in a new light. She saw her not as someone who foolishly let go of something she secretly wanted to keep; something she wanted to hold on to, but as someone who had been fighting a completely different internal conflict all these years. 'She really is full of surprises,' Rangiku thought as she stared at the woman who tried to avoid her gaze.

Suddenly, Rukia stood up; leaving Rangiku still a little baffled on the ground. "Rukia, what happen-"

She was cut off by a stern response, "Nothing. Just a foolish mistake I made many years ago."

"It's obviously more than nothing," Rangiku quickly challenged in a sincere voice.

With equal speed, she delivered her rebuttal, "And it's obviously none of your business!"

There was a silence that overtook them. The strawberry blonde was yet again stunned by the response given by her long-time colleague. Then, she stood up as well. Her eyes tried to read the raven haired woman, who's head was turned to look in a different direction, but she could only manage to make out one definite thing; regret.

She then spoke, "You're right. It is none of my business," she agreed in a much sadder tone. "But if I can see it, what does that tell you about everyone else? What does that tell you about him?" she concluded as she silently slipped away.

Rukia stood as the wind picked up and goosebumps plagued her skin. Those last few words seemed to have hit home. Was she that obvious? Did she look that different?

She began to make her way back towards her squad quarters as her head tilted towards the ground in an effort to hide from the world while she remained in thought. But as she got into the heart of Seireitei, she ran into none other than Ichigo Kurosaki.

"Uh, hi," she said awkwardly. He looked tired; warn out. "Hey," he said with exhaustion in his voice.

Not knowing where to begin, she spoke, "So… how did it go?"

He let out a hard sigh, "I did what needed to be done."

Rukia frowned sadly, "I'm sorry. I know you didn't want to go that far."

"Yeah," he said. "But why aren't you more upset? He was your friend, wasn't he?" he asked.

"It needed to be done. It's not like we could hold him captive forever without using force. He wouldn't have told us anything that way," she explained softly.

"But you still should be upset," he said as he tried to read her. Her entire attitude baffled him.

"How would you know if I'm upset or not? You were never good at that," she reasoned simply without being bitter.

"I don't know. I just figured," his eyes began to water, "that you'd be upset. I just," he got something stuck in his throat, so he swallowed. "I just tortured your friend," he said as his voice grew weaker. "Shouldn't you be upset? Shouldn't you?!" he asked in anger and feeling slightly sick to his stomach. His trust was fading considerably fast.

Rukia felt confused with herself. She knew she should be, but she wasn't. She was more focused on the fact that it needed to be done; that was that. She looked down to the ground for a moment and then spoke softly, "I… don't know."

Ichigo looked at her incredulously. "Maybe you're not who I thought you were. Maybe you are someone who pretends to be something they aren't."

Rukia frowned, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Maybe you do use people to get things done," he continued bitterly with watered eyes.

"Excuse me?" Rukia asked in disbelief.

"I've seen the way you are lately. I've never seen that side of you before, but maybe after this long absence, I'm finally able to see the truth."

"What are you talking about?!" Rukia continued to question. 'Where was this all coming from?' she thought.

"You used me to get your mission done," he said with his head bowed to the ground. "You used me for who knows how many other things. And you used everyone else for god knows what!" he said more to himself than to her.

"I didn't use you, damn it! I don't use anyone! What the hell are you talking about?!" she yelled as tears began to build up.

"Everything is going your way so far. You're almost a Captain," he said finally lifting his head to stare at her again. "So tell me, how many people did you have to sleep with to get everything you wanted?" he said staring straight into her eyes.

Her mouth was left ajar. She was taken aback by what he just said to her. 'Is he serious?' her mind kept asking. Her jaw began to tremble until she forcefully closed it. A tear fell down her cheek as he continued to give her that cold, hard stare.

She shook her head at him, "Screw you, Ichigo. Screw you," she said with a weak voice before turning and running.

* * *

How he found himself now sneaking into a certain raven-haired woman's quarters was still beyond a mystery. Well actually, he knew exactly why, but a few hours ago, it was the last thing he would have ever saw himself doing.

He snuck up to one of Squad Thirteen's residential buildings, which housed the Vice Captain. There was the barracks for the lesser officers of the squad located nearby, which was still obviously very awake in the dead of night. It was about fifty yards away, but he could still make out the yelling of some drunken fools who paid no heed to their future duties the next morning.

He carefully placed his footing on the wooden steps that led to the door. He placed one foot on the first step and held his breath as he went to step on the second out of four. The second was a success, but he was not on his guard as much as the first two when he came to the third. 'I'm doing perfectly. As quiet as a mouse,' he thought to himself.

As his weight hit the step a large and extended creak occurred in the silence. He gasped as he quickly made it up the stairs and slid his back against the wall beside the door.

He took a few deep breathes and then closed his eyes as he leaned his head back against the wall to regain his breath. He let a silent chuckle overtake him. 'Almost blew my cover there,' he thought to himself.

He then leaned off the wall and moved towards the door. Slowly and carefully, he began to slide the door open. He stopped after an inch and peeked inside. He saw a candle lit on a table in the back, but there was no sign of the resident. So he then opened the door completely, but still cautiously. He took a step into the dimly lit room, but in an instant he found himself being pulled by his arm straight towards the ground.

His knee slammed into the wooden floor first, but was shortly followed by his chest, then his left cheek, and finally his body laid flat on the floor. His back had a surprising weight on top of it as one arm was stuck under his body, while the other was being pulled back behind him.

He let a groan escape his mouth, but found it hard to talk with his face experiencing a fierce pain from the impact. "Wh-what the hell?" he let out weakly trying to regain some sort of stability.

"What are you doing here?" her ever familiar voice asked sternly from behind him.

"No, there's no need to take my coat. Thanks for asking," Ichigo said sarcastically as he leaned his head back off the floor to project his voice more.

Rukia glared at the back of his orange head and quickly used her other arm to slam his face back against the floor. Another groan was heard before he spoke, "Screw you, midget."

"I'm not going to let you come into my house and insult me. Tell me what you want and then get the hell out," she said without faltering.

"Okay, you know what? I don't deserve this. Why the hell are you so pissed off? I mean, I know why you're so pissed, but I just, I don't get you, Rukia. You have to understand where I was coming from anyway. From my point of view, you befriended me for a mission," he said in almost an apologetic manner.

"How many times do we have to go over this? It wasn't for the damn mission!" she yelled angrily. She aggressively pushed down on top of him before getting off.

He quickly moved his arms to push himself off the ground and when he turned around she was already making her way to another room.

"Rukia, I'm not leaving until you talk to me," he said protesting.

She turned around brashly, "For once you want to talk to me?" she asked in shock. She let out a disgusted chuckle, "Then for once I can turn away from you." She finished by turning around and continuing her walk to another room.

_My blood bleeds red  
For all those thoughts you left unsaid  
Well how could you let your guard down  
And let me impose  
We're dying th__e further this thing goes_

He crossed his arms over his chest, "Then I'll do what you didn't. I won't leave."

Rukia froze in her walk. That last one stung more than she ever thought it would. She turned around and glared at him. She then walked a few steps closer to him. "Why are you even doing this? You don't even want to be here."

He shook his head, "You don't know what I want."

They stared into each other's eyes for a moment in silence. The feeling in the air was unsettling. Every single action or word the two let out only showed the feelings of anger and betrayal.

_Why__ can't we go back to where we were before  
You dropped your heart on my floor  
'Cause it was easiest to hide it all away  
And never say what we were thinking  
No you'd never catch me blinking that night  
'Cause I was all of yours_

Ichigo spoke again, "I don't want to fight anymore with you! Do you understand that?" he let out; not being able to take the silence any longer.

"Are you sure of that? Because I remember a few hours ago, you basically called me a slut! But _no,_ you don't want to fight _at_ _all_!" she said sarcastically as it pained her to speak.

"Damn it, Rukia! I wasn't in the right state of mind! I just let my inner hollow out on Izuru and I was falling apart! You didn't have to see the mess I left him in; the mess that was still all over my hands when I left the room!" There was a second of silence, "I didn't kill him, but it sure as hell looked like I did," he finished feeling disgusted and finding it hard to talk. His eyes began to water.

_But don't say we became too late  
Well I just think you're humoring yourself  
Let me say one more thing before you fly  
And this charade is out of sight  
I've been wrong but now I'm right  
So let your precious sky come down on you tonight_

Rukia stared at him. He was the same all along; the same teenage boy whose window she walked in; the same boy that risked his life to save her; the same boy that risked his life to save everyone. He hadn't changed at all; she just chose to keep her gaze on the surface. He still had that heart of gold; that selfless attitude. And right then, at that moment where she saw this grown boy; this man, fall into pieces after being forced to do something she knew he didn't want to do, that's when she felt a particular pang in her chest.

"I said those things to you because Izuru was messing with my head. He was saying things and at some ridiculous point, it all became a possibility to me," he tried to explain in a saddened tone.

"How in the hell can _that_ become possible, Ichigo?!" she asked with tears in her eyes, yet her anger overpowered that emotion at the moment.

"Because I've noticed how different you are!" he yelled back, but then calmed his voice to avoid an out of control argument.

_I'm right outside  
With every useless key I've tried  
You're seamlessly wrapped in secrets  
Unraveling now  
But you don't know just why or how_

"Look at you, Rukia," he said waving his hand in her direction. "You're like your damn brother! Cold, emotionless! And it doesn't make any damn sense considering you're not even blood related! It's like the Rukia I've known was a complete lie!"

"You see that's just it, Ichigo!" she yelled back. "You're blind! Yes, you see I'm different. I'll give you credit for that. But for you to say I'm different and blame it on me pretending to be someone else all those years ago is complete stupidity. You don't think that maybe there's a _reason_ for me having changed, instead of me _not_ being fake anymore?"

_W__hy can't we go back to where we were before  
You dropped your heart on my floor  
'Cause it was easiest to hide it all away  
And never say what we were thinking  
No you'd never catch me blinking that night  
'Cause I was all of yours_

"Then what the hell is the reason?! What could have possibly happened during the past eight years to change you so much?" he questioned in complete ignorance.

"Nothing! Nothing happened during the past eight years! It's what happened to me before all of those years went by that changed me!" she yelled back, which welcomed them into silence. She turned to the side with one arm draped across her stomach, holding her side, while the other was held up so that her hand held her face; shielding him from her tears.

_But don't say we became too late  
Well I just think you're humoring yourself_

_Let me say one more thing before these  
Beautiful mistakes we've made run dry  
Well I thought this would all blow by  
And everything would just turn out alright_

He really was blind. He knew that now. Was he that stupid to think that he was the only one hurt from what happened all those years ago? Was he that blind? He should have known that's why she changed; he's why she changed. After her telling him the night of the wedding that she wanted to fix him; heal him of his misery, he was too full of blame to notice she needed help herself. And for that, he now blamed himself.

Ichigo took this moment to walk up to her without her noticing. "Rukia," he said softly as he grabbed her arm that was holding her face, gently.

She pulled away harshly about a foot. "Don't touch me," she said bitterly through tears.

_And this would all be fine  
So say goodbye to days like these  
_

He frowned as she continued to cry silently. Then, he walked closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. She began to fight him off, but instead, he pulled her closer and closer, until she went limp. She let her crying be heard as she had her palms against his chest with her head between her hands. Ichigo let her cry as he rested his chin on top of her head.

_I'll give it one more try and hope it all seems better in your eyes  
Well maybe not this time_

It felt good to hold her in his arms. There were so few moments that he remembered doing this, but every time he did, he remembered they felt the same way; they felt like this.

After minutes flied by, she finally spoke with her weak voice, "I never asked you to do this for me."

He smirked with his chin still atop of her head, "Well I'm doing it for you anyway."

She smiled from his response. "How did we end up like this?" she asked, followed by a sniffle.

"Well, I accused you of something. Then I snuck over to leave a letter, but then-" he began to explain.

"No," she said, knowing that he misunderstood her. "I meant how did we end up going through- wait. A letter?" she asked pulling away.

"Letter? What letter? Didn't say anything about a letter?" he said trying to act smooth.

She raised an eyebrow at him. "I want to see-" she was interrupted by, for once, _his_ phone going off.

He pulled completely away and answered the phone, allowing her to wipe her eyes from the remaining tears that never fell.

"Right _now_?" Ichigo questioned. "Yes, sir. I'll be right there." He hung up and turned back to Rukia.

"Ukitake wants to see me. He wasn't able to listen to my details earlier, so he wants to hear it now," Ichigo told her without being asked what the phone call was about.

"It's in the middle of the night," she said incredulously.

Ichigo shrugged, "It's important." He began to walk backwards toward the exit, "So… Can I see you in the morning?" he asked rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably.

"No," she said flatly, leaving him wondering what went wrong. "You can see me in the afternoon. I still have a pile of paperwork to finish," she said with a small smile.

He gave the same size smile back and retreated. They had been able to stop eight years of torment through their embrace of silent apologies. And right then, at that moment, they were content with where they were with each other; they were content with themselves.

_I'll give it one more try and hope it all seems better in your eyes  
Well maybe not this time__…

* * *

_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kind of weird how they are fine at the moment. But you know me! Happiness never lasts too long… or does it? Am I saying this to confuse you? I could be. I like keeping you unaware of what I will do. So we'll see! Tell me what you're thinking! Later


	10. Best Days

**A/N:** Haven't updated this in 20 days! Yikes! Okay, so here it is. It's a nice long one I believe. Hopefully it will ease those of you that have been bugging me. Haha (thank you for that). Anyways! This is named after, "Best Days," by Graham Colton. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Cadbury Chocolate and those amazing Mini Eggs that they sell at Easter. drool

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

* * *

_Chapter 10: Best Days_

"Well don't you look a bit perky this morning?" Rangiku said as she sat on Rukia's desk. The raven headed woman had just walked in with brightness all over her face.

"Do I? Huh, didn't notice," Rukia said taking a pile of papers and off the desk and holding them against her chest.

"Huh, yeah right. Spill it," she said leaning towards her eagerly on the desk.

"There's nothing to spill…" Rukia said with a small smile trying to understand what she was talking.

"You are such a terrible liar!" the strawberry blonde yelled with excitement. "Come on! Don't make me go ask Ichigo why you are so goofily happy!" she threatened with a smirk.

"No!" Rukia blurted out quickly. She then realized how ridiculous her reaction was and tried to cover it up, "I mean, why would he care anyway? Don't waste your time."

Rangiku laughed, "Too late, Kuchiki. I already caught you."

"What did you catch?" Renji asked walking into the office.

Rukia placed the pile back on the desk and then answered instead, "Nothing! She caught nothing. In fact, she's leaving now! Bye Rangiku!" Rukia said as she began to push her off her desk and towards the door.

"Woa now! I came here for business! Don't make me leave before I finish!" Rangiku said urgently as she now stood waiting outside the door.

Rukia stopped and waited impatiently with her hand on the door, "Okay then. What is it?"

There was a silence before she spoke. "So was his body as hot and steamy as you hoped-"

Rukia cut her off by slamming the door shut in front of her and turning around to lean her back against the door in an attempt to pretend the past five seconds didn't happen. A huge fake smile was placed all over her face as she looked towards a confused Renji.

"So Renji, what can I do for you today?" Rukia said surprisingly perky.

"You can first tell me what the hell that was about," he said with an eyebrow raised.

"Huh? What _what_ was about?" She decided to take the clueless role.

"Who did you sleep with?" he asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"Renji!" she yelled. She could not believe he just said that.

"What?! I think it's an appropriate question at the moment," he said with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I didn't sleep with anyone!" she yelled defensively. "And quite frankly, it's none of your business if I did," she said crossing her arms over her chest as well and raising her chin up into the air.

"The hell it isn't," he said confidently.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Rukia asked in disbelief. She could not believe this conversation was going on.

"It means I need to know these kinds of things!" he yelled back.

"And why is that?" she said in a curious yet angry attitude.

"So I can go kick his ass for laying a finger on you!" he said very brute-like.

Rukia let out a chuckle, "Oh please, Abarai. The day he ever lays a finger on me is the day I start to believe that Aizen is our savior," she said casually with another chuckle as she passed by the redhead.

He turned around to look at her, "Who is this '_he_' you're talking about?" he questioned with suspicion and a raised eyebrow.

Rukia froze with her back to Renji. She picked up the pile of paperwork and pulled it against her chest again. "I wasn't talking about anyone in particular. Who were _you_ referring to?" she said finally turning around to face him.

"_I_ was talking about any guy in general. _Yours_ seemed more specific…" he said with his eyebrow still raised.

"Stop reading into everything, Renji. I was just saying that I won't be with anyone in that way for a long time," she said walking past him towards the door.

Renji continued to look at her with curiosity before she turned around. "Was there something you came here for?" she asked changing the subject.

"No. I just came to see how you were doing. I've noticed you've been having a hard time lately, so I came to check up on ya," he said in a laid back tone.

"Well as you can see I'm completely fine," she said somewhat annoyed, but then took a breath. "But thanks," she said softly and politely. She gave him a soft smile. "I've got to go deliver these papers to Captain Ukitake. So I'll see you later, okay?"

"Yeah. I'll see ya," he said before she walked out of the door. 'She really is completely fine. In fact, she looks more than fine,' the red head thought in surprise.

* * *

"What the hell was that all about?!" Rukia shouted at herself on her way to see her captain. She had no idea why that entire conversation was so awkward. Who was she talking about? She seemed pretty confident about a certain someone when she inferred any possible relations. Her mind was confused by her own behavior and it was beginning to give her a headache. And she would have to thank Rangiku later for making an awkward conversation between her and Renji.

She made it to the door, but before she opened it, she paused after hearing raised voices from inside.

"I can't just sit back and let things continue! You have to understand that, sir!" Ichigo's voice said with force.

"I understand that, Kurosaki, but there are some things that are just not meant for you. I have already decided how to approach this. Please respect my decision," Ukitake reasoned with a calm voice.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that. You said it yourself. This is a dangerous situation. Not to mention what it could do to her in the state she's in," he said trying to persuade the older man.

There was a loud sigh, "Well who do you think is to blame for that '_state'_ you are referring to?"

There was a silence that went on for a few seconds, yet it felt like an entire lifetime had passed by. Ichigo felt his chest become heavy as he looked towards the floor. Then, he looked back up and locked eyes with his commanding officer.

"I know that in your eyes I don't deserve to be even looking at her. You said that for the past ten years that I have known her, you've seen her change dramatically. You're holding this past decade against me because of what I did to her. I understand that. And if I were you, I'd resent me too. But think back to how she changed when I first met her. Was she miserable? Did she change for the worse? Tell me straight out because if she was and if she did than by all means tell me to stay away from her. But don't endanger her anymore because of something I deserve. Letting her go alone is putting everything on the line! I'm not willing to stand by and let anything happen!" Ichigo said with such meaning and with such passion that Ukitake was taken aback.

The Captain sat back for a moment and stared at the younger man with lazy eyes. He took in the aggressive appearance of a still very rebellious man. He had to admit that he admired the courage that this man in front of him possessed. He had enough passion to argue against a man of his stature; for him to do that without thinking twice proved to the elder that he was indeed worthy of his Vice Captain's attention, despite their earlier conversation.

"You're a very persistent man, Ichigo Kurosaki," Ukitake said with a small smirk.

Ichigo was surprised to see a sudden change in his superior's demeanor. In fact, he made that clearly shown. "What?"

Ukitake chuckled and then raised an eyebrow, "Why are you so surprised that my opinion has altered?"

"Because you were so gung-ho about blaming me for her behavior. I don't understand," Ichigo said with a confused frown.

"I'm always leaving my mind open to new things. I took my protective position of her and you've convinced me otherwise. You should be proud of yourself, boy," Ukitake said before going into a coughing fit.

"Are you okay?" Ichigo finally said after it continued for more than ten seconds. The Captain waved his hand to reassure him.

Finally, there was a knock heard at the door. "Ah," the older man said after clearing his throat. "Come in."

Rukia revealed herself after hearing such an intriguing conversation, which consisted of a certain 'her' that she could only assume was herself. "Good morning, Captain Ukitake," Rukia said with a bow and then nodding towards the orange headed man, "Kurosaki."

"Oh please, Rukia. We all know you are very much already well acquainted with this young man. There's no need to hide it and be proper about it," Ukitake said casually.

Rukia was a little surprised to hear this, but smiled softly in return before correcting herself, "Good morning, Ichigo."

Ichigo smirked, "Mornin'."

Rukia smiled back at Ichigo for probably a moment too long and then turned to her captain. "I've brought you some paperwork that I need you to sign," she said placing the pile on the desk in front of him.

He sighed in response. "Thank you. But now that you are here, I might as well inform you of your next assignment."

Rukia gave a curious look and immediately straightened up in a businesslike manner. Ukitake continued, seeing her reaction as a signal for him to continue.

"I've been discussing with Kurosaki what it is that he has received from Izuru Kira. In the long run, the disappearing shinigami are not dead nor were they ever intended of being killed. Instead, they have been swayed into thinking that Soul Society's role in the universe has become corrupt. 'How?' is still a question yet to be answered. We can assume that it has to be one hell of a reason to have so many believe it," he said with annoyance.

Rukia squinted in misunderstanding. "Why would they ever be persuaded onto the opposite side? It doesn't make any sense."

"I agree, but we know nothing on that front," he said in response. "But what we do know is that he has some allies on the inside. Izuru had said that there was no way of knowing who until the time came that they acted. This is where you come in," Ukitake said becoming more serious. "I need you to promise me something."

Rukia was slightly confused and hesitant, "What is it, sir?"

"Promise me that you will not fail me. No matter what," he said in a tone and with a facial expression that completely changed. He showed saddened eyes and a begging look with a sincere voice.

Rukia found it hard to breathe at that moment. He looked at her as if her answer determined her fate. Her face saddened and then became more confident. "I will not fail," she said with her whole heart.

By her words, it seemed like a weight was taken off Ukitake's shoulders. He gave her a small smile for a few seconds before going back to his original business nature. "Your mission is to venture into Hueco Mundo and play as our inside agent. You will pretend to be turned over to their side; learning all of their allies within Soul Society and learning as much as you possibly can about future plans."

Rukia was taken aback by the kind of mission she was just given. "But, why would you pick me for this?"

"Because you are a valuable shinigami that fought brilliantly in the war many years ago, while being one of the few that stood by the ever so famous substitute shinigami, Ichigo Kurosaki. These should prove as beneficial reasons for Aizen to want to bring you under his wing. He probably will think he can use you against us. But another reason I picked you is because I have an incredible amount a faith in you, Rukia," he finished with a sincere smile.

Rukia smiled in order to be polite before looking down to the floor. This was a difficult and dangerous mission to take. She didn't know how to feel about it exactly. Part of her was honored to be chosen for something like this yet another part of her was scared. She questioned her abilities and feared breaking her promise to her caring captain.

Rukia then peaked up to see how Ichigo was reacting to all of this. He looked to the side away from her with furrowed eyebrows. His arms were crossed over his chest.

She then looked back at her captain, "I'm honored for being chosen by you, Captain Ukitake. I will not let you down," she said with a bow.

"I know you won't," he replied. "You leave tomorrow morning. Please take care of any preparations you might need or deal with any matters that you need to deal with before your departure."

Rukia was shocked at how much time she was given. Twenty-four hours was not a lot of time to do much. She felt as if her life had been completely pulled onto its own track; leading her to a possible terrible fate. But she refused to show any fear. She refused to show regret in her accepting of this mission.

"Thank you," she said before turning and walking out of the building.

Ichigo watched her retreating form with as much detail as possible.

"Well you were very quiet. Surprising, considering you have been very talkative for the past few hours," Ukitake said curiously as he interrupted the orange headed man's gaze.

"What was I supposed to say?" Ichigo replied with a frown.

"I don't have the faintest idea, but I expected you to jump in with yet another rejection to my decision in letting her go."

"And get her pissed at me for thinking she can't handle herself? Yeah, that would have gone great. Just because she's changed, doesn't mean she won't react the same way to certain things. I'd get my ass kicked for saying something like that," he said in an all-knowing tone.

"Suit yourself, but knowing the way women are, I believe they like to hear when men are being protective of them," he said on the contrary.

"Yeah, well Rukia's never been in the same category as 'women'."

"But maybe after all these years of questioning things, she might need to hear it in order to believe things haven't changed…" he said putting in his two-cents.

Ichigo sighed, "She's so damn complicated."

"No, no, no. That would be the general description of women, my boy."

Ichigo began to turn and make his way towards the door before he stopped and turned slightly back towards his superior. "I'm still dead against this, ya know."

Ukitake gave a sad smile, "I know," he said in understanding.

"Is there nothing I can do to change this?" Ichigo asked after hesitating.

"I'm sorry," the captain said before Ichigo turned and walked out without another word.

* * *

"I can't believe they're sending you on a mission by yourself. Aren't you afraid?" Orihime asked as she sat next to Rukia in one of Soul Society's main courtyards. They watched as two shinigami practiced on each other with wooden swords.

"It's a mission, Orihime. You're not supposed to feel anything towards it. You're just supposed to do it," she said continuing to watch the two shinigami battle with amusement in their eyes.

"Just because you're not supposed to feel anything about it, doesn't mean you don't," Orihime said watching her friend instead of the original entertainment.

There was silence between them for a few moments until Rukia finally spoke. "I'm scared to death, Orihime," Rukia said softly.

Orihime immediately felt helpless. The tone she heard in her petit friend's voice was shaky and truthful. But what could she do? There was nothing except words that would help raise her spirits. But how much can a simple 'You can do it!' do? There was only one thing she thought of as she looked at the distant woman next to her with saddened eyes.

Rukia's eyes widened from the surprising embrace she received from her friend. "Orihime," she said out of being startled.

Orihime held her so tightly with her eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed. Rukia continued to just sit there, not understanding the sudden embrace. Finally, Orihime talked.

"I don't know what to say or do, Rukia. I could tell you that I believe in you or that you'd never let them get the best of you, but it won't take away any of your fear. All it'll do is put more pressure on you and I don't want to do that," Orihime said before taking a deep swallow. "I wish I could go with you, so you wouldn't have to be alone; so you wouldn't have to take full responsibility."

She paused, but then continued. "I look up to you in so many ways, Rukia; your passion, your conviction, your selflessness, your strength. You have had such an incredible influence on everyone you seem to have stumbled upon. The impact you made on my life and others' goes back to the day you gave Ichigo your powers. In an instant, you were able to change the course of our lives into something phenomenal. So although it may still mean nothing, I want you to know that after all the things that have happened; I _do_ believe in you. And I know you'll return to us. You always do," she finished with a small smile gracing her lips despite the raven-haired woman not being able to see. Tears were slowly falling down her cheeks.

Rukia didn't really know how to react. She hadn't felt so much compassion in years. It seemed so foreign to her. Her heart was finding it hard to react.

Finally, Rukia gave a sad yet grateful smile as she finally hugged her friend tightly in return. She closed her eyes and held on for quite some time as a tear rolled down her cheek. "Thank you," she whispered softly into her ear.

* * *

Rukia was now sitting down on the same hill that she did the previous day where Rangiku accused her of something ridiculous. It was now evening and the stars shined brightly that night.

She leaned back on her palms as she looked up to the sky. She knew she should probably have been with her friends for these last few hours, but she needed to be in a place of silence and peace, knowing she won't be experiencing anything like this for who knows how long.

'Ichigo was so angry when Captain Ukitake told me of my orders. He didn't even look at me. I haven't talked to him since last night. I don't have any idea what he's thinking. I overheard him saying something about not letting me go for some reason, but would it really make him that upset?' she thought with confusion. 'I couldn't even find him this entire day. Has he been avoiding me?'

"Rukia," a voice resounded from behind her. She jumped and turned her head quickly to see who had frightened her.

"B-Byakuya! What are you doing here?" she asked urgently as she sat up straight, Indian style.

He walked up next to her sitting form and then sat next to her in the same manner. She was surprised by his actions. "That is my question for you."

She went to speak, but found there were no words to say at the moment. She bowed her head and frowned, "I don't know," she said softly.

Byakuya just nodded as he looked up at the stars. "You understand that you are leaving tomorrow morning," he said in more of a statement than a question.

"Yes," she said weakly.

"Then why are you separating yourself from everyone?" he asked in what seemed to her like a caring way. She looked at him curiously. He never did care what others thought and he never taught her to care about that either. He wanted her to care about herself first _and_ last.

"Brother," she began, but he continued.

"I'm not blind, Rukia," he said in a correcting tone. "And although I deserve to be thought of as meek, I am not."

She looked at him questioningly as he looked at her through the corner of his eye before looking back straight ahead. He continued. "Despite my efforts in trying to calm your free spirit, you were never the type to actually comply. You put up that front whenever I approached, but as soon as I walked away, you were back to beating that orange-headed idiot into the ground," he said in his unemotional tone while Rukia thought she saw a smirk across his lips.

"But as soon as you returned from the human world and accepted your promotion to Vice Captain, you were a changed person. I saw myself through you and although that would usually bring forth pride, I experienced none of it. I always admired Hisana's ability to express herself and to know that you have the ability to do the same, but don't use it, makes me feel as if I've failed you as a brother."

Rukia reached her hand out and placed it on his forearm, "You haven't failed me," she began to reassure.

He then turned his head to look into her violet eyes. "Then how could I have let you go on like this for these past years? I was too busy keeping everything to myself that I didn't stop you from ending up like this. You should be smiling and laughing. I promised Hisana this," he said with sadness in his eyes.

Rukia didn't know what to say. This had to be the most her brother had said to her in years and this had to be the most emotional she had ever seen him.

"So after all this time, after me being a cold, numb man," he began by placing his hand on hers; located on his forearm still. Her mouth opened slightly in surprise. "I need to see you feel free again. You look chained down in a way where there is no key in sight. It has only been since your recent return from the human world that I've noticed your spirit rekindle. I don't know what it is that has sparked this in you, but you better hold on to it. You owe it to yourself to feel again," he said with his voice sounding surprisingly emotional.

Rukia couldn't help it. Her throat was closing up as she tried to hold on to her emotions. She lowered her head to hide her face and to regain her calm. Then, Byakuya reached over and placed his other hand on her shoulder, "Don't hold it in this time."

She then let it all fall. She sobbed with her head bowed down, but after a few seconds, she threw her arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. His face was shocked as his arms seemed to not know what to do at first. But after a moment, he slowly held her back.

"I don't know what has happened to me," she said through a sob. "I don't know right from wrong anymore."

He then pulled away and looked back into her eyes, "You're not going to find it up here by yourself. From what I can tell, those ryoka did a good job on keeping you on the right track."

She gave him a sad smile. "Part of me doesn't want to say goodbye," she said sadly.

"It won't hurt as much as regret would," he said simply. He then stood up and turned to walk away, but then stopped with his back facing her. "What you feel is different from what you think. Let yourself feel again and then you'll heart will clear your way to better judgment," he said before beginning to walk.

"Byakuya!" she yelled to stop him, which she succeeded, but he refused to turn. "Thank you," she said softly. He didn't respond, but instead continued to walk away silently.

Then surprisingly he stopped again, "You might want to go back to your quarters. I heard there was some paperwork you needed to finish off." He then continued on his way. She smiled at his retreating form. 'Always sticking to business.'

* * *

Rukia walked up the few steps to her door; feeling quite annoyed with the need to do paperwork with so little time left. She then opened the door, but her mind didn't quite register what was happening.

"Surprise!" was yelled from the massive crowd in front of her. Behind them, hanging on the wall, was a banner saying, "Good luck!"

Her face showed confusion, but then a small smile broke out as everyone started to rush towards her and give her hugs.

Members from every squad were there, including Captains and Vice Captains. The Karakura crew was of course present, but after minutes of being welcomed by almost everyone, she had yet to see a certain orange headed man.

She pushed it aside for the time being and decided to enjoy the time she had left in Soul Society.

* * *

"So you're going to be spending some time with the Spirit King," Shuuhei mentioned with interest.

"This is an amazing honor," Nanao added before taking a drink.

Rukia seemed hesitant. Ukitake had said she was given a completely different mission in order for the possible Aizen allies to have no suspicion of anything. Everyone believed she was going to be working under the Spirit King for a great amount of time, as ordered by the King himself. The only one's who could know the truth were the humans due to their impossibility of being a traitor.

"Excuse me. I need the guest of honor for a moment," Uryuu said grabbing her arm and pulling her away.

Once they were away from them, he spoke. "I figured you didn't really want to be around a conversation like that. I mean, that's not even your real mission. They have no idea what you are about to do for all of us out there," he said taking a sip of his drink.

She looked to the floor and then back up with a sad smile, "Well, I've never been one for praise anyway."

He chuckled and shook his head as he raised the cup to his lips, "You really are meant for each other," he mumbled before taking a sip.

"What?" Rukia said not completely hearing him.

He gave a small smirk, "Nothing."

Chad suddenly came up to them, "Hey, Orihime just got sick. She looks a little shaken up."

The two suddenly felt alert, but Uryuu stopped Rukia. "Don't worry about it, Rukia. She's been feeling weird for a day or two. Go enjoy the party. I'll take care of her," he said with a smile and then ran off with Chad.

Rukia sighed and instead of going back into the party, she went outside. She looked up at the sky and took in the environment. The music from inside was muffled and it mixed with the silence of the night. She heard laughter and it only made a soft smile come to her face.

"I figured you'd be into the party scene," an all too familiar voice said from her side. She turned and saw his vibrant hair even through the dark night. He was sitting down on the ground with his back leaning against the porch wall.

"Well, it depends," she said with a small smile as she looked at him on the ground. "If it was for a real reason, then 'yes.' But with questions flying at me about something I'm completely clueless about, 'no.'"

"Hmm, that makes sense," he replied, looking out into the night instead of at her.

She watched him for a moment, "Why aren't _you_ in there enjoying yourself?"

"I'm not in a celebrating mood, I guess," he said, still refusing to look at her.

"Well may I ask 'why?'" she said with a raised eyebrow.

He looked at her for the first time that night, "Does there have to be a reason?"

She paused for a second, "Yes."

He let out a loud, annoyed sigh. "Well there isn't."

She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest, "Mhm, I'm sure there isn't. I mean, I wouldn't think anything is bothering you after the way you looked so angry this morning. And then after you say you want to see me tomorrow afternoon last night, I couldn't find you. So tell me, what is bothering the Almighty Ichigo Kurosaki?"

He gave a disgusted chuckle as he stared out into the dark, "Does it even matter? It's not going to change anything."

She smirked with her arms still crossed over her chest, "Try me."

He sighed and then turned his head abruptly in her direction, "I don't think you should be going on that mission."

Rukia was kind of taken aback by his forwardness, but she didn't let it linger as she appreciated a straight out answer for once. "And why is that?"

"Because I don't think you can handle it," he said truthfully as he tried to find her violet eyes in the dark.

"Are you… afraid something's going to happen? Is that what the problem is?" she said almost in surprise.

"Why are you so damn surprised? You used to yell at me all the damn time for being protective," he said with his attitude coming through this time.

"Isn't it obvious why I'd be so surprised?" she said assuming Ichigo wasn't so oblivious.

"No…?" he said holding it out in a question form.

"Nevermind," Rukia said brushing it off, but Ichigo wouldn't let it go.

"No, why is it so surprising?" he said not giving up.

Rukia sighed, "It's not that I'm surprised. It's just… some things I guess don't change, no matter how much time goes by," she said calmly.

Ichigo looked down to his lap and let a small smile grace his lips; a smile Rukia was shielded from.

He then looked back up. "But it's more than that," he added. "You're… you're not," he couldn't find it in himself to say it.

"I'm not '_what'_?" she pushed curiously.

"You're not… supposed to leave this soon," he said with a sigh. He couldn't say it. It felt like it wasn't his place. She wasn't in the right state of mind, he knew that. She was more ruthless and he felt that with her thinking, it could lead her into an unforeseeable consequence.

"I know. It's really moving a little to fast for me," she said sadly. "But I can't really do anything about it."

Ichigo looked at the ground. He did not mean to say what he did, but it also seemed true. He didn't want her to leave this quickly. They had just accepted each other and now she was taking off for who knows how long. But the more he thought about it, the more he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. His eyebrows slowly furrowed.

Rukia looked back at the door, which was left open an inch or two. The light from inside was able to just reach them. The music changed to something slower and she smiled at her sudden idea. "Dance with me," she said confidently as her eyes continued to look towards the door.

Ichigo's head shot up and looked at the raven haired woman in front of him. Her face was slightly aglow from the soft light of the party. It outlined her features perfectly and he could see a small smile on her lips from her profile.

_With everything I've ever done  
I'd give it all to everyone for one more day  
Another night I'm waking through  
Anther door I walk into  
I can't break_

She turned her head to look at him, her violet eyes now combining with the yellow light from the room. "Did you not hear me?" she said with a raised eyebrow with the smile still gracing her lips.

He tilted his head to the side, "We tried that before. Remember how well that turned out?"

_It's a winding road  
It's a long way home_

Rukia looked into his amber eyes, which were accented more than ever by the escaping light. He expressed his statement with humor yet she knew he was somewhat serious. She smirked down at him as she slowly walked up to his sitting form.

"I wasn't asking," she said as if reliving it all over again. She held her hand down to him as he glared at her with a smirk. Finally he grabbed her hand and stood up.

_So don't wait for someone to tell you it's too late  
Cuz these are the best days  
There's always something tomorrow  
So I say let's make the best of tonight  
Here comes the rest of our lives_

They swayed with the music; not needing to say a word to each other. They were fine with where they were as oppose to where they would be tomorrow. They wanted to take this moment and stretch it as much as they could.

Rukia's hands were placed on his shoulders as his laid gently on her hips. They looked up into each other's eyes. It was always a mystery to figure out what each other's eyes possessed, yet somehow deep down, they always knew. They always knew how the other was feeling.

_I count the steps the distance to  
The time when it was me and you is so far gone  
Another face another friend  
Another place another end but I'll hang on_

In this short time, they have been able to reclaim what they lost years ago. They thought back to the short years they spent together and realized they seemed to last the longest regardless of the past years quadrupling that literal time. And even though all that time separated them, they still ended up back in each other's presence.

_It's a winding road  
It's a long way home_

Rukia slowly slid her hands from his shoulders, down to his chest. He felt his skin tingle from where her finger tips had glided across. Rukia's head then rested against his chest as well as her eyes closing shut.

_So don't wait for someone to tell you it's too late  
Cuz these are the best days  
There's always something tomorrow  
So I say let's make the best of tonight  
Yeah let's make the best of tonight  
Here comes the rest of our lives_

Ichigo smiled down at her and thought back to a few weeks ago. He had been this miserable excuse of a man that hid away from the world. The smile that so easily came to him now was something he would have never conceived of doing then. He looked up at the moon at night and remembered days that he thought he would never see again. But now, as he looked up at the clear night sky and at the moon which looked down upon them, he found that after all the time that had passed, the moon had finally granted his wish.

He smiled up at the moon for giving him his life back and then looked back down at the woman in his arms. He remembered that she was leaving in the morning and the smile began to fade.

_It's a winding road  
It's a long way home_

He looked at her and thought of the worst. His heart began to sink and as it did, he immediately moved his hands on her waist to her lower back, where he pulled her into a firm embrace. His head then bent down to rest his chin gently on her head. His eyebrows remained furrowed.

_So don't wait for someone to tell you it's too late  
Cuz these are the best days  
There's always something tomorrow  
So I say let's make the best of it  
_

Rukia was somewhat startled, but she quickly gave a sad smile due to the impression she was getting. He didn't want to let her go. She knew this. He was afraid that something would happen to her, like he always thought. But for once, she didn't want him to let her go. She wanted to stay right there; like that; with him.

_So don't wait cuz no-one can tell you it's too late  
Cuz these are the best days  
There's always something tomorrow  
So I say let's make the best of tonight  
Yeah let's make the best of tonight_

They pulled apart slowly and stared up into each other's eyes once again. And as they felt gravity pull them closer and closer, time made its appearance once again.

"Rukia! Come in and cut the cake!" yelled Rangiku from the door before disappearing inside again.

The two pushed away immediately from her yell and then looked to the ground awkwardly. Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck as Rukia folded her hands in front of her. "So, uh, I should go inside," she said before making her way to the door.

Ichigo turned to look up at the moon as he now stood alone in the night. He silently made another wish; a wish of a safe return. He asked for this one last thing before he was interrupted.

"Ichigo, you coming?" Rukia asked with a smile from the door.

He smiled back up at her and nodded, "Yeah. I'm coming," he said looking back up at the moon one last time before making his way inside.

_We'll make the best of tonight_

_Here comes the rest of our lives…_

* * *

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

So that ended on a good note… I think. Haha. So it was a longer chapter. Hoped you enjoyed it. Took my some time to get it out to you because I've been into Run To You, so I apologize for that. Umm, so let me know what you think! Oh! And Happy Easter! Later


	11. 23

A/N: Ugh

**A/N:** Ugh. I know I know. More than a month I believe. Sigh It's hard. Anyways. This is the next chapter. If you must, skim through the previous to get a hold of it all. When it gets to the flashback the first few lines are from a previous one in the story from Chapter 5. The flashback continues in this one. And it's the one you've all been waiting for I believe. Although it probably isn't anything spectacular. Ugh the more I talk the more it gets worse. Just read, haha. Song is, "23" Jimmy Eat World. The beginning is a lot of instrumental so I'm going to put "**SS**" when I want you to **S**tart the **S**ong. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Nah.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

* * *

_Chapter 11: 23_

He sat on the edge of the table in his room. The only light came from his open window revealing the night sky. His leg shook anxiously as his thoughts continued to race. Soon his entire body began to shake and he started cracking his knuckles.

He thought about how his life used to be and how it had changed since then; a lonely life with nothing but the comfort of his bed at the end of the day to a life where he could never feel more alive despite the reality of it all. He had a moment with the one thing that could always turn his world upside down and that one moment was enough to put him over the edge.

Was he ready to let go of it again? Was he so sure that everything would turn out fine when the mission was all said and done? The fact is that he wasn't.

He quickly jumped up from the table and ran out of his room. The morning was quickly approaching and he had to get there before time ran out. He past by squads on his left and right and he made no interest in stopping. Finally, he made it to her residence.

He ran up the few steps and threw open the door. He looked around. There were still many people there from the previous night's party. All were passed out from probably drinking too much; that was Ichigo's conclusion. He ran in and looked around. There was no sight of the raven haired woman and his heart began beating faster. 'Has she already left?' he thought with fear.

He moved into another room, which he found to be the bedroom. He walked closer and noticed a figure under the covers. When he finally got close enough and was about to usher out her name, he noticed his mistake. Rangiku rolled over in her sleep and pulled the covers closer to her body. Ichigo was surprised at first, but then stepped away.

He then had one more option. The orange headed man ran towards her office.

* * *

She kneeled on the floor in her dark work space. It was almost time for her to leave. Sode no Shirayuki was placed by her side as she looked out the window. The full moon shined brightly. It was almost as if she was mesmerized by it. It was so captivating to see it in the clear night sky with stars twinkling beside it.

The air she breathed seemed thick though and she knew it was her nerves that were causing this effect. Despite her efforts to relax in these last few moment, her heart and mind knew what the future was going to bring.

She had a duty to carry out. This was something she always took seriously. But ever since she became Vice Captain of the Thirteenth Squad she had dedicated herself into her line of work. She would do what was necessary for her comrades and she would do it efficiently without question.

But her humane side continued to push it's way to the surface. She didn't know if she'd be returning any time soon or if she'd be returning at all. She was risking it all for everyone and regardless of the pride she felt for receiving such an assignment, she couldn't help the fear that penetrated her spirit.

She had so much that she had yet accomplish; things she had not thought of until recent events. She wished to see Renji become the Captain he had wished to achieve for a long time now; something she knew he would soon be promoted to. She wanted to see Uryuu and Orihime's first born child, who she found out about a few hours earlier due to Orihime's recent _sickness_. And also she wanted to see what Ichigo would decide with his life. Would he go back to his normal life after Aizen was defeated once again or would he continue to be a shinigami? After all, things were different now that they were no longer at each other's throats.

She stared softly at the moon. "Where will time bring me?" she asked pleadingly towards the night sky's sun.

"Are you expecting an answer?" a voice came from her side, which startled her. She turned her head quickly and stared at the man in the dark, who leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Ichigo?" she asked slightly surprised.

He didn't move, "Hoping it was someone else?"

She frowned slightly, "No…" She paused, "I'm glad it's you."

He smiled slightly, but she wouldn't have been able to see it in the lighting of the room. Rukia spoke again, "What are you doing here though?"

He looked down at his feet. How was he going to say this? He didn't completely think it through. He just kind of acted on it before he was too late. "I- I came to see if you left or not."

She began to get up and grabbed her zanpaktou before she stood up straight and was facing the orange headed man. She was in no mood to be angry or begin to yell. She was too nervous and dare she say _afriad_ to start anything that she may not be able to finish. She tilted her head slightly in suspision. "Well I'm still here."

"Yeah…" he took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck. He walked over to the window as she carefully watched his slow movements. He stood staring out at the night sky while she refused to move from her place.

Ichigo spoke not realizing what was coming out of his mouth. "Do you remember that night? Ya know. That night we ended up messin' everything up?"

She opened her mouth slightly as she stared at his back. 'Was he seriously going to bring that up? _Now_ of all times?' she thought. She sighed, "How could I forget?"

He nodded slowly. "Do you know how much I regretted running after you that night?"

Rukia's heart stopped. Her chest caved in for what seemed like a century until her heart then began to race to make up for lost time. She had trouble finding words to say. Thankfully, she didn't have to.

Ichigo continued, "For almost a damn decade I tortured myself for letting what happened happen." There was a pause before he spoke again. "Every night I would look out my window and see the same moon staring down at me. And every night it would show me something I would desperately try to grab, but know it was just too far out of my reach. It showed who I was before that damn night; it showed who I desperately wanted to be again. But I couldn't be that person anymore," he then turned his body just enough to look back at her. "Not without you."

She felt herself tremble. Her skin tingled and her body found it hard to stand straight up. His eyes stared into her with such an invicible force that she could have easily been pushed over by it.

"But now," he spoke again, but this time he was staring at her. "I feel like I've somehow found a way back to being that person."

"Ichigo," she began, but he interrupted her.

"No, let me finish." He took a deep breath, "I can't let you go on this mission."

Her eyes went wide, "What?"

He exhaled, "I can't afford to let everything crash down again."

She squinted and looked at him before her mouth let out her exact thoughts. He spoke instead, "And 'no' I'm not being selfish. This isn't just about me, in case you were starting to think that."

"Then what is it about?" she quickly asked not getting his sudden goal.

"You can't handle this, Rukia," he said with determination, yet she saw his amber eyes weak.

"Ouch. That doesn't hurt at all," she commented sarcastically. "Do you honestly think I'm _that_ weak? Can you quit trying to fucking protect me?!" And she thought she wasn't in the mood to argue…

He turned completely to her now, "Stop giving me a damn reason to! Everytime you go off somewhere by yourself you're always getting yourself into some shit!"

"You know what? Where were you the last eight years, Ichigo?! Tell me that! Because I've been getting along fine!" she yelled back feeling her body and voice begin to shake.

"Are you fine?! Because ever since I saw you outside my damn house leaning against that same damn lamp post that changed my life all those years ago," he took a breath, "I've chippin' away at that ice you've got yourself barried in!"

She shook her head and rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest. "What the hell is that supposed to even mean?"

He glared, "You know exactly what I mean. You've locked yourself away from everyone and seemed to have lost any sort of compassion you had!"

"Well if I've become such a cold bitch that doesn't care about anything who do you think is to blame?!" she yelled back.

The two stood in silence. She immediately regretted that and Ichigo immediately felt the guilt. They looked away from each other as the new emotions rolled in and debuted.

She looked back up, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that-"

"Yes you did," he said quickly as their eyes locked. "And it's fine. I deserve it."

"Shut up," she lazily said. "We both are to blame for what happened for each of us. It was a fight between two people. So stop feeling guilty for all of it. I know it's been eating you alive for all these years."

He took a deep breath. "Kind of weird how we both shut ourselves off from the rest of the world, huh?"

She smiled softly, "Not really." He smiled in the same way. They had always been able to understand each other so well. They had always been able to relate so well.

He looked deep into her violet eyes as his smile fell from his face. "I can't let you go again, Rukia."

_Timing was impeccable. Right then, the phone on Ichigo's desk began to beep; a hollow._

_Ichigo leaned over and picked it up. He looked at it for a moment and then looked up at her. _

"_Don't even think about it. Give it to me," she said holding her hand out. _

_He looked into her eyes. Her violet orbs swirled in determination. They were begging for him to listen to her. But his mind went in a different direction. 'If I give it to her, it's like I gave her permission to go on without me; to leave and accept that promotion. I- I can't let that happen,' he thought with a weight pressing against his chest._

"_I'm not ready," he said out loud as if telling himself his final decision on the matter. He then pulled his substitute shinigami badge out of his pocket and used it to get out of his body._

"_Ichigo!" she yelled in frustration._

"_Just let me handle this," he said in annoyance as he jumped out the window._

_She growled at his retreating form and then began to get out of her gigai._

_Ichigo had begun to fight with the relatively simple hollow. He was angry. In fact, he was furious. He wanted to kill this hollow not just because he didn't want Rukia to think she could do things without him, but also because he needed to let out all the aggression and frustration he had buried inside. He wasn't fighting the hollow; in more appropriate terms he was playing with it. He would occasionally strike it and let it feel the slight pains that we would deliver nowhere too critical. But after a few minutes he was getting impatient. He would then begin to cut off limbs, which allowed the hollow to continue to fight as Ichigo watched it in pain._

"_Ichigo! What the hell are you doing?!" Rukia yelled running up._

_He looked at her out of the corner of his eye as he held Zangetsu up in front of him. "I'm fighting a hollow."_

"_No shit. I told you I'd get this one though!" she yelled angrily._

_He ran and cut off the hollow's leg causing it to go limp on the asphalt. _

"_What the hell was that? You could have killed it!" she yelled in confusion._

"_I know what I'm doing, midget! Just go back home!" he yelled as the hollow got back up._

"_Home? You mean your house?" she asked in confusion._

_He looked back at her with a saddened look that she could not see. "Yeah," he said softly. This was where he felt was her home; in his house; with him._

"_No!" she yelled back, which caught him off guard. He looked at her with a scowl. She continued, "Stop trying to take the fate of everything into your hands! You can't control everything!"_

_He growled, "I know that! Just at least let me try!"_

"_And then set you up for false hope?!" she asked incredulously. "Why would I do that? I would rather start you down a road that you can control, you idiot!"_

_He turned completely to her, "I control which road I go down! If I want something to happen, I'm goin' to make it happen! If I want something to stay the same, then damn it, it's goin' to stay the same!"_

"_Ichigo!" she yelled as she pointed towards the hollow. He quickly turned and swung. He wasn't ready and ended up hitting it with the wrong edge of the zanpaktou. This made the hollow go flying a few feet as if it were a baseball. The orange headed teenager turned back to his raven haired opponent. _

_She continued the argument, "You control which road you go down, huh? Well who the hell gave you the opportunity to be a shinigami? Let me give you a hint, it wasn't you!"_

"_Well I could have easily denied your damn offer! Then my life could have been a little more normal!" he responded._

_She rolled her eyes, "Oh don't give me that bullshit. I hate it when you start saying how your life was never normal! I hope you aren't looking for sympathy because I really could care less! I'm dead, Ichigo! How about some sympathy there?!"_

"_You don't even act dead! I don't count you as 'dead' when you are able to constantly cause me physical pain!" he yelled back. _

"_Then you have to learn to face facts! We're different! You still have a life! You have to look out for your future! Do well in school! Become a doctor!" she yelled with more of a begging tone._

"_I don't want to think about that n- Rukia!" he yelled urgently as he jumped in front of her. To be quite honest, there was plenty of time for Rukia to avoid getting hit, but Ichigo had been deprived of his sense of duty for quite some time. He was urging to play the hero._

_The hollow's claw slashed into Ichigo's abdomen as the orange headed man fell to the gravel. He groaned from the impact. Blood was seeping through his robe and he pushed off the street with as much effort as he could. _

"_Ichigo…" she said softly with a hand over her mouth. Her violet eyes seemed to change red as she pulled out her zanpaktou and ran towards the hollow. She gripped it tightly and with a glorious leap, she cut it clean in two. She ran back towards Ichigo and knelt down beside him._

"_You idiot," she said softly as she pulled up on his arm and wrapped it around her shoulder to pull him up._

_He groaned again, "I can walk, midget."_

"_Shut up, Strawberry. We're still arguing. I'm just taking us back to your house to fix you're reckless wounds," she said coldly._

"_You mean 'home'?" he corrected. It was her home whether she realized it or not._

_She looked straight as she guided them back to the house, which was only about fifty yards away. "Yeah," she said softly._

_The walk was silent. He was now sitting on his bed with his head turned away from the raven haired girl, who was currently dressing his wound. The silence was still continuing._

_She stood up finally and took a step back. Ichigo got up from the bed and picked up his shirt on the chair near his desk._

"_Why won't you think about the future?" she asked seriously with her arms crossed over her chest._

_He pulled his shirt over his head and messed with some things on his desk without really realizing it, "I don't know."_

"_What kind of answer is that?" she asked in annoyance. "At least look at me and give me a pathetic response!"_

_He turned harshly and stared directly into her eyes, "I don't like thinking too far ahead!"_

"_Why?"_

"_Because I don't want to think about a time when you won't be here!" he yelled without holding it back now._

_**SS**_

_She opened her mouth to respond, but was too stunned by his honesty to say anything. After a few seconds she was able to speak. She disregarded the sentimental moment and became harsh with the subject. "Well you're going to have to get over that. I can't stay here forever, Ichigo," she said in a lecturing tone._

"_Enough with the damn lecturing already! I'm tired of you constantly doing that! Don't you think I know you can't stay here that long? I just don't want to have to think about when you do leave!" he yelled back._

"_You should learn to deal with it. I could be leaving soon if I take the promotion! And when that happens, it won't be your job to do the local shinigami's duties anymore. You'll have to live a __**relatively**__ normal life. That's why I'm pushing you to study and do your work. I'm trying not to let you waste your time!" she explained. "Besides! Look at you! You're already a mess from a wimpy ass hollow like that! You're making rash movements just to prove you are some hero!"_

"_I'm a 'mess' because you're brainless and weren't paying attention! And what do you mean prove I'm a hero?" he threw in her face._

"_I mean we know you're a hero, Ichigo! Stop trying to live in the past! Things change! You shouldn't want to constantly fight! It's not healthy!" she threw back._

"_Even now when you say I don't have to fight, I am," he said softly. "I fight because if I stop now then it's all over! It'll all stop and everything will go back to the day before I met you! So let me fight recklessly! Let me protect you when I don't have to!" _

_She looked sadly at him and shook her head, "You should let me do this now. I mean it makes sense considering I __**am**__ the actual shinigami here. You're just a damn substitute, Ichigo."_

_That hurt him. More than she realized. "A damn substitute?" he said in a soft growl. "Is that what you think of me? As some low class piece of shit that doesn't belong? And here I thought you were different. But you really are spoiled noble. Guess that Kuchiki attitude has finally kicked in!"_

_**I felt for sure last night  
That once we said goodbye  
No one else will know these lonely dreams  
No one else will know that part of me  
I'm still driving away  
And I'm sorry every day  
I won't always love these selfish things  
I won't always live...  
Not stopping...**_

"_Screw you!" she yelled back. She hated being called spoiled. Just because she was adopted into a noble family didn't mean shit and she was always ready to jump anyone that dared to say anything about it. "You don't know anything! And you really are an asshole if you thought you belonged! You are so desperate to protect everyone that you do worthless acts like jumping in the way where I could have easily stepped aside! You haven't been able to protect anyone in a long time and its getting to you! Besides! You're human, Ichigo! You __**don't**__ belong!"_

"_Just because I'm human?!" he said incredulously. "You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you know what I have done?! Who ended the war in Hueco Mundo? Who killed Aizen? Who saved your life?!" he asked getting furious and his voice rising in anger. _

_She was in shock by his sudden outrage. 'Did he just hold that against me?' Her sudden shock then turned to anger, but then also… hurt. "I didn't ask for you to come after me! If I recall, I told you not to!" she yelled; now feeling a pain she wished she never had._

_He let out a disgusted chuckle. "Yeah, like I wouldn't save you after you saved me; a life for a life." He couldn't believe her right then. 'She's making it seem like I have no business protecting anyone; protecting her; caring about anyone; caring about-'_

_**It was my turn to decide  
I knew this was our time  
No one else will have me like you do  
No one else will have me, only you**_

_She lost her breath. "So after all this time, I finally find out it was all just some sort of debt you had to repay. Some guilt trip you put yourself on because of some stupid thing I did for you?" she was hurt, most definitely. Her chest ached._

"_**Some stupid thing**__? So now you regret saving me? Great. Great to know I've been living a lie for the past two years. Silly me; thinking you could feel any compassion. I guess when it all comes down to it; you really aren't anywhere near being human," he said with such fire to his words it burned holes straight through her flesh and into her heart; she in fact did feel after all._

_**You'll sit alone forever  
If you wait for the right time  
What are you hoping for?  
I'm here I'm now I'm ready  
Holding on tight  
Don't give away the end  
The one thing that stays mine**_

_She swallowed hard; confused of how easily she was being shaken up a mere boy, but her voice was still wavering. "And silly me for thinking you were something more than just a selfish little boy with no conscience."_

"_Oh please. Don't even start to say I wasn't what you thought I was. I hide jack shit! What you see is what you get! I'm just some rebel that looks out for himself first and others second," he corrected with his chin in the air._

_She shook her head and gave a disgusted laugh, "You pretend to be such a badass. When I first met you that's exactly what I thought you were. After all the time we've spent together I thought I was able to see the real 'Ichigo'; a man that would fight to protect just because he knew it was right; a man that had so much potential and would use it for good; a man that actually cared what others thought or felt."_

_**Amazing still it seems  
I'll be 23  
I won't always love what I'll never have  
I won't always live in my regrets**_

"_Well you thought wrong!" he yelled back. His eyes were boring through her. "I'm sorry that I'll never live up to be your precious __**Kaien**__," his words dripped off his tongue like venom._

_Her jaw began to tremble and her eyes began to water in an angry manner. Her hands quickly clenched into fists by her sides. "What… the fuck is that supposed to mean?"_

_**You'll sit alone forever  
If you wait for the right time  
What are you hoping for?  
I'm here I'm now I'm ready  
Holding on tight  
Don't give away the end  
The one thing that stays mine**_

_He glared, "Don't give me that. I know you just try to relive the life you had with him with me just so you could think you have forgiveness. I'm sorry that this guy you love so damn much is dead, but he's not living through me! So I guess you can finally move on with your life and go get that promotion now!"_

"_Fuck you, you cold hearted bastard! You don't know anything! Nothing! I could never confuse you with Kaien! Not in a million years! He was never this horrible, nauseating disgrace of a boy that would throw out hurtful words just to avoid how you really feel!" she yelled with her voice shaking. _

_He rolled his eyes. "How do I really feel then, huh?" he challenged her._

"_You're just scared to death of change and are trying to either stop it all together or force it to happen as soon as possible to get it over with! You're saying all of this to piss me off. Well you know what? It's working! So keep going if you really want me to leave now!"_

_He shook his head with a furious smile, "I guess you have me completely figured out, huh Rukia?" He began to clap his hands, "Congratulations. Ya want a medal now? That's all you ever try to do is analyze bullshit."_

"_I analyze bullshit because no one can figure you out! You're a mystery to everyone! And you blame it all on yourself because you still blame yourself for killing you damn mother!" she yelled._

_**You'll sit alone forever  
If you wait for the right time  
What are you hoping for?  
I'm here I'm now I'm ready  
Holding on tight  
Don't give away the end  
The one thing that stays mine...**_

_He gave her a look, "Don't you dare bring that into this conversation."_

_She ignored it. She wasn't afraid of him. "It was a hollow, Ichigo! Not you! Your mother is dead because of a hollow, so stop blaming yourself thinking you killed your dear old mother!"_

"_Stop it!"  
_

"_You sulk over the same damn thing once a year, even after you found out it was Grand Fisher! Get over it!" she continued without listening to him._

"_Shut up!"_

"_Stop being such a damn baby about things and start to live with them!" she yelled combining more issues into the subject._

"_Get the fuck out!" he yelled finally. There was silence between the two of them._

_She looked deep into his raging ambers as her violets revealed pain and realization. "If I leave I'm not coming back. But I guess you planned this, didn't you?" she said knowing him too well._

"_Leave," he said with finalization. Violets stared into ambers for a moment that seemed to last forever before she walked towards the window. She wouldn't leave through the front door; it would cause his family to ask too many questions. She would leave without another word._

_She brushed by Ichigo with the slightest contact that shot tingles up both of their spines. He turned slowly as he watched her open the window and sit on the ledge. She took a simple glance over her shoulder towards him one last time before dropping down out of his sight; out of his life. _

_He thought she would end up coming back hours later. He was angry; yes. But he didn't necessarily want her to leave so soon. This was an argument. He figured she understood he didn't really want her to leave._

_He took in a few breathes as his mind agreed with the conclusion that she would come back. Then, he looked over at his desk where he saw his school books. He would listen to her if only to achieve some unknown forgiveness; he would do some studying._

"You never came back when I told you to go the first time," he said with his eyes sad as he took a step closer to her.

"You told me to leave, idiot. Why would I come back?" she asked almost with a laugh at the end.

He shrugged, "I figured we were just arguing. We didn't mean what we actually said." He paused, "And then you actually left, so then I thought you actually did mean it."

"And I thought you meant it that night, so I threw in some more things I didn't mean just to make it even," she explained. She let out a laugh at the misunderstandings and looked down at her feet.

He reached up and tilted her head back up to look up into his eyes. "I never did say I'm sorry, did I?" he said with a sad smile.

"I- uh-" she didn't know what to say. His voice was so soothing and his touch was so gentle. She was rendered speechless.

He cut in. "I'm sorry." He paused, "I know you said it a long time ago. So I'm sorry I took a longer time to say it," he added with a chuckle.

She put a smug grin on her face, "I always beat you anyways. It should have been a given."

He glared with a smirk as his hand fell from her chin back to his side, "Cocky, midget."

Her face then got serious again, "I'm going on this mission, Ichigo."

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. He was shaking his head.

"I'll come back this time," she added with a smile, which caused him to stop rubbing his neck and meet her eyes again.

"You don't know how long you'll be gone though," he added.

She shrugged. "I'll come back," she reassured. Her gaze settled on him. "You can't always be the one to protect me. Let me do this on my own," she said somewhat in a begging manner. "Please."

He sighed and broke eye contact. She added in a joking gesture, "You'll end up running after me sooner or later anyways. At least let me get a head start."

He chuckled as she began to chuckle as well. They fell silent; enjoying a comfortable silence. He tilted his head to the side, "Be careful."

She raised an eyebrow. "Since when am I not? You're the one that goes storming into uncharted territory without thinking," she laughed.

"True," he agreed with a grin.

She then smiled sweetly and turned to make her way towards the door, but he grabbed her wrist hastily to stop her. She froze quickly feeling an amazing sensation on the skin he was touching. She looked back at the orange headed man questioningly.

His amber eyes pierced into her violets, "Meeting you could have never been an accident." He paused, "I wanted to make sure you knew that." He added in order to correct a past mistake.

She smiled back at him, "I know, Strawberry. I know." And with that said and done she walked out of the room and left him with a satisfied smile in her now empty office.

* * *

Ichigo was standing next to his Karakura comrades as they stood in the main hall with the rest of the Squad Captains.

Ukitake continued to talk, "With my Vice Captain off on her mission with the Spirit King, we can finally focus on our Aizen threat."

Ichigo couldn't help but wander off the conversation. His mind was processing that morning's conversation with a raven haired woman. She had left and was most likely traveling around in Hueco Mundo by now. As time passed by, he found it harder and harder not to think about her or worry. It had only been a few hours and his thoughts were engulfed with nothing but her.

"_As if I'd ever think of her that way!" he responded in irritation._

_Chad just nodded, "Mhm."_

"_What the hell do you mean, 'mhm'?" Ichigo questioned urgently._

"_Suit yourself, but knowing the way women are, I believe they like to hear when men are being protective of them," Ukitake said on the contrary._

"_Yeah, well Rukia's never been in the same category as 'women'."_

"_But maybe after all these years of questioning things, she might need to hear it in order to believe things haven't changed…" he said putting in his two-cents._

_Ichigo sighed, "She's so damn complicated."_

"_No, no, no. That would be the general description of women, my boy."_

"_No, why is it so surprising?" he said not giving up._

_Rukia sighed, "It's not that I'm surprised. It's just… some things I guess don't change, no matter how much time goes by," she said calmly._

_Ichigo looked down to his lap and let a small smile grace his lips; a smile Rukia was shielded from._

"What do you think, Ichigo?" Ukitake asked breaking through his memories.

Ichigo shook his head and blinked a few times, "Huh? What?"

"Pay attention, Kurosaki," Byakuya growled with a superior tone.

Ichigo glared at the older man as Ishida leaned over to Ichigo and whispered from the side of his mouth, "Trouble with the in-laws?"

"Screw you, Ishida," Ichigo growled back as the archer chuckled under his breath.

Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck, "Sorry, Ukitake. Can you repeat that?"

* * *

The winds were harsh in the white desert, but she had already traveled a great way. It was so desolate; she remembered it was, but it had been so long since she had last been here. It brought back terrible memories yet it brought back memories when she was with him.

She was on her mission now and she knew her mind should be focused. She needed to block out any thoughts that could possibly distract her from either completing her mission or surviving. But she couldn't help it. Ever since she saw him leaning against her open door in her dim lit office she has been having trouble not picturing his mesmerizing figure in front of her. The feeling of his skin touching hers when he lifted her chin or when he grabbed her wrist; it has been quite the struggle.

"_Wait," he interrupted. "Take this," he said holding his hoody out to her as they continued to walk._

"_I'm not taking your sweatshirt," Rukia said knowing she would feel guilty if she took it._

"_I'm not even wearing it, so take the damn thing before I put it on you myself," Ichigo said in annoyance. _

_She took it and put it on. It was way too big, but it was comfortable and most of all, warm. She smiled as she watched her fingers feel the soft fabric._

"_So I can go kick his ass for laying a finger on you!" Renji said very brute-like._

_Rukia let out a chuckle, "Oh please, Abarai. The day he ever lays a finger on me is the day I start to believe that Aizen is our savior," she said casually with another chuckle as she passed by the redhead._

_He turned around to look at her, "Who is this __**'he'**__ you're talking about?" he questioned with suspicion and a raised eyebrow._

_Rukia froze with her back to Renji. "I wasn't talking about anyone in particular. Who were __**you **__referring to?"_

"_What you feel is different from what you think. Let yourself feel again and then you'll heart will clear your way to better judgment."_

"_So how long have you been in love with him?" _

Rukia's back straightened and her body froze when her last memory hit her. She brought her palm to her chest and felt her heart racing just from the thought of it.

Then, she heard something rusty or metallic creak open. Her head shot up in the direction and noticed a door was swinging open. She squinted at it as she held her hand up above her eyes to block the wind from her eyes. She took a deep breath. This was it. They knew she was here and they were welcoming her; daring her to continue. She wasn't backing down now.

Rukia gripped one hand on her zanpaktou and walked steadily towards the open door, which would lead her further into the heart of Hueco Mundo.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

* * *

And that is the end of this chapter. Where am I going with this? Do I even know? Well I should hope so. Well anyways. Tell me what you think. Later


End file.
